Chapter 126

The long driveway home was decorated with artificial pine swags tied with red bows and lit with twinkle lights.  Candles in the windowsill and lanterns along the porch lit the house making it look warm and welcoming.  The upstairs windows had candles in lanterns like beacons on a hill.  In all, it was a festive picture worthy of Currier and Ives.  The only thing it lacked was a horse drawn sleigh rushing down the ‘lane’.

Chad loved nights like this.  Off at six, dinner waiting with a house smelling like Christmas personified, and a bath towel hung by the upstairs woodstove waiting for him to step out of the shower- it was the perfect recipe of domestic happiness.  He remembered his first winter in Fairbury, the bare apartment, the boxed and canned foods, and the sheets he now realized probably were changed only once that whole season, were things of the past- a past he hoped never to see again.

He climbed from his truck wearily.  It’d been a long hard day.  Fairbury rarely had more than a speeding or drunk tourist but today a domestic dispute had gone south, a baby died of SIDS, and strung-out teenagers from Rockland tried to rob the Fox theatre.  He wanted nothing more than to take a shower, relax, and let the stress from his day job melt away in the haven of his home.  Tonight, he wouldn’t flip on a television and see the ugliness of the world in his own living room as well.  This had bothered him at first but after months of news free living, Chad was happy to get a recap of world events at work without all of the sensationalized local bits and bizarre horrors that punctuated the nightly news.

Willow sent him upstairs the moment he entered the house.  The towel was already hanging from the towel rack willow had installed as soon as cool weather set in.  Fresh clothes waited for him on the closed hamper id and his favorite CD was in a player ready for him to escape for a few minutes.  By the time Chad jogged down the stairs, the stress and grime of the day was washed down the drain and Chad was ready to enjoy the next two days off.

“So, what do we need to do for Christmas?”

“It’s still two weeks away.”

“Ten days,” Chad corrected, “but who’s counting?”

“Your mother’s quilt is almost done, I just have to finish the binding.  Cheri’s sweater is finished, Christopher’s sweater is done, and your father’s afghan needs a lot more work but it’ll be done in time.”

“What about my present?  Are you done with it?”

“It’s wrapped, store, and out of the way so you can’t peek.”  She gave him a sly smile.  “Is my skein winder done?”

“A skein whater?”  He laughed at her mock indignation.  The winder had been done for two months.  What she didn’t know about was the hoosier Luke was making for her.  There was a perfect place for it where the hutch was and the hutch would look wonderful on the wall next to the table.  He couldn’t wait to bring it home.

“Hey, we can do whatever we want for the next couple of days so what sounds good?”

“We should go snowshoeing one afternoon.  The snow is so thick this year.  I had to shovel the roof this morning.”

“Was it that bad?”  Chad had never seen anyone have to shovel a roof in his life.  He’d always assumed that was something reserved for Alaska or was an urban legend.

“Mother was adamant.  If the snow was over fifteen inches and lasted more than a week, it had to go.”

“You could have fallen off of there!”

“Chad,” she continued patiently, “I’ve done this my whole life.  I think I know how to keep myself from crashing to the ground.”

“I guess you do.  Now that the roof is clear, what do you want to do?”

“We could make Christmas cookies…”

“How about you bake, I eat?”

Willow’s expression was priceless.  “I had a crazy impression that you wanted to do something new but that’ll work too.”

“We could go into town and watch a movie…”

Shaking her head, Willow carried the dirty dishes to the sink.  “Not interested.”

“We could go bowling…”

“I could teach you to knit and you could make scarves for all of Luke’s children.”

“Did I tell you?”  Chad hesitated.  “Aggie’s pregnant.”

Willow’s eyes lit up excitedly.  “Really?  Oh I bet she’s so excited!  When- how far-”

“March.”

“Oh baby clothes!  I’ve got to start making baby clothes!  I need flannel and s-  Wait.  March?  That means she’s been pregnant for…”

“Several months.  Mom didn’t want to tell you but I finally told her at Thanksgiving that I was telling you before Christmas.”

Confused, Willow shook her head.  “I don’t understand.  Why wouldn’t she tell me?”

“I think mom was afraid you’d take it hard.”

Willow dropped the last dish in the drain, banked the kitchen stove, grabbed a plate of cookies from the shelf above the stove, and carried it into the living room trying hard not to show her irritation.  “All this time I could have been excited for her, praying for her, sewing and knitting for her but I’m supposed to take it hard so I don’t get to know.  I feel gypped.”

“We’ll go to the city tomorrow and buy all the yarn and fabric and anything else you could possibly  need.  You were busy with harvest and everything else anyway.”

“I guess so.  I’ll write Aggie a note tonight though.  I bet she thinks I’m the worst cousin-in-law ever known to mankind.”  She took a deep breath and met Chad’s eyes.  “Don’t keep something like that from me again.  It is a little insulting but primarily I feel like you deceived me- you hid something from me because you or someone else thought the worst of me.  I know,” she continued quickly seeing the objection on his lips, “it was meant for a kindness but it still says that I’m petty enough after only six months of marriage, to be too full of my own disappointment in not being pregnant that I cannot rejoice with someone who is.  That isn’t who I am and I thought you knew that of me.”

***

December-

Aggie is pregnant but no one told me.  Apparently, I am supposed to ‘take it hard’ when a wonderful thing happens to someone else.  I could understand if I’d been married for five years and no sight of children and it was bothering me… maybe then… but I don’t understand why now.  We haven’t even been married a year.  Of course I was surprised when Mother was pregnant after one horrible encounter and yet with much um, practice, I am still waiting.  I don’t feel barren though- not yet.

How do I convey  my disappointment to Chad?  I feel a little betrayed by him listening to his mother on this.  Mother’s lessons didn’t cover how to tell a husband-  wow.  I feel silly.  No, mother didn’t tell me how to handle a husband but Chad’s a person too.  I keep treating him as though husband is the only facet to his personality.  He’s a person and when people disappoint us we confront it, forgive, and move on.  I sort of confronted it.  I need to forgive and move on.  Two lessons in one.  I feel quite educated this morning.

Chad is milking and feeding the animals.  The chickens are racing around the yard like crazy.  I don’t think they’ll be out there for long.  I should have shot a turkey for Thanksgiving.  It’s too late to shoot one now and I don’t have anything for Christmas dinner except for roast.  How can I make roast different and festive?  Maybe we should raise a few turkeys as well.  I’m not doing a pig though.  That was disgusting.

Chad’s main Christmas present gets here this afternoon.  He keeps trying to “do something” but we can’t leave or we’ll miss delivery.  I think I’ll send him to town for something- maybe dinner.  I can ‘forget’ dinner.  I am so excited.  If there is any one thing that Chad wants for this farm, I think I’ve found it.  I hope it’s the right choice.

Baby gifts.  Tomorrow we’re going to Rockland and buying all kinds of wonderful things for me to make little sweaters and booties and diaper sets… I have all the patterns mother bought but didn’t use for me.  I can do it!  It’ll be good practice for… someday.

At four fifteen, Chad bounced along the road with orders to bring home lasagna from Marcello’s.  Willow loved lasagna but rarely asked for it and refused to try to make it.  “Some things are perfection as they are.”

While Chad ran several errands including shipping a box of scarves to Aggie’s children, Willow helped the delivery  man put his gift into the barn.  She couldn’t wait to see what Chad thought of it!  It was the most exciting gift she’d ever purchased.

Chad found her in the kitchen practicing Away in a Manger on her dulcimer.  “Dinner’s here.  Let’s eat.”

“Can you get me more milk from the barn while I cut?”

He rezipped his jacket and stepped back outside.  Willow sat the lasagna on the warming shelf of the stove and pulled on her jacket, following the second Chad’s body disappeared into the barn.  He slammed into her just as she reached the door.  “Woah.  Merry Christmas.”

“I can’t believe you bought me a horse!”

“You keep saying that a horse is the only thing keeping this from being a ‘real farm’ so…”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the horse’s stall.  “He’s-”

“She… Lacey.”

Chad nodded.  “She’s beautiful.  What-”

“She’s two years old, a quarter horse and done whatever that means.”

“Dun.  It’s her color.”

“They change colors for a while?”  Willow was confused.

“You didn’t go through the horse stage when you were a girl, did you?”  D-u-n.  Dun.  It’s the name of the color.”  As he explained, Chad smoothed the horse’s neck, patted her face, and ran a hand along her back.  “She’s just beautiful.”

“As I said, Merry Christmas.  You have to buy your own tacks though.”

“Tack.  I’ll look tomorrow while you’re buying up baby supplies.”

Reluctantly, Chad followed Willow to the house several minutes later.  “Where did you find her?”

“I asked Terry over at the feed store if he could find me a good horse.  He asked around and found Lacey.”

“This is going to make that skein winder seem awfully inadequate.”

“Of course it won’t!”  Willow grinned thinking she’d trapped him into admitting her gift.  “It’s exactly what I asked for.  What better gift could you get me than that?”

“I don’t know but I am going to feel pretty guilty come Christmas morning.”

She passed him a plate of lasagna.  “Eat your dinner.  Your horse might want a walk around the yard before you go to bed.”

“And then I think it’s time you learned a new game.”

“What game?”

Chad grinned.  “Chess.”

“Why do I have the feeling that you are very good at it?  Mother never liked the game so we didn’t play it.”

“Well, I’m no Chris.  He was the chess master.  I was just his practice partner but once in a while I’d win and I don’t think it’s because he let me.”

As he went back out to the barn, Chad dropped a box and rule sheet in her lap.  “Read through that a couple of times and I’ll be back.”

“Do you want some hot chocolate?”

“I’ll make it when I come back in.  You read.”

Willow grinned as the back door shut behind him and opened the chess set setting up the pieces quickly.  When Chad arrived, she grabbed the rules and  forced herself to look engrossed in them as he brought steaming cups of hot chocolate.  “Well, I’m ready to try it but you’re probably going to have to help me…”

***

“So if you and Mother never played, how did you beat me two games out of three?”

“Beginner’s luck?”

“Who did you play?”

Willow winked as she set the pieces back into their places.  “Me.”

“You would.”

Chapter 125

The spinning wheel whirled as Willow slowly fed tufts of wool into it, demonstrating the technique she’d mastered in the past few months.  Marianne sat on the couch next to her casting on stitches slowly and painfully as she struggled to hold them comfortably.  Occasionally, Cheri would look up from her pile of skeins that Marianne brought and as she wound them into balls, complain about her aching hands.

The men, on the other hand, not having the television to shout at, played ‘keep away’ football in the front pasture until Cheri and Chris’s girlfriend went crazy from wool overload and escaped to join them.  Shouts and complaints occasionally seeped in through window cracks until Willow and Marianne glanced at each other and raced for their coats.

They played guys against girls, married against single, and mixed teams until the cold and exhaustion drove them inside.  Willow watched concerned as Chad stood next to the kitchen stove flexing his right hand as heat worked out the painful muscle spasms.  From the other side of the room, Christopher sipped his coffee and prayed silently for his son.  “Chad, can you fill me a fresh cup of coffee?”

The request was ludicrous considering Christopher’s cup was over half full but he swallowed a large gulp and forced himself not to wince as the hot liquid burned his throat on the way down.  However, it worked.  Chad immediately poured himself a fresh cup of coffee and wrapped his cold aching hand around it.

“So what now?”  Chuck was like an adolescent with ADD.

“Pictionary?”  Marianne’s voice didn’t sound very enthused.

“Apples to Apples?”  Cheri sounded only a little more interested in her suggestion than her mother’s.

“Poker?”  A shrug and an evil glint in his eye was Chris’s only response to Emily’s playful slug at his suggestion.

“Mother and I often read the Courtship of Miles Standish on Thanksgiving,” Willow suggested helpfully.

Amused glances flitted around the room while Willow waited to see if she should retrieve their volume of Longfellow’s poetry.  Chad, knowing his wife was clueless at the internal laughter at her expense, decided to play a joke on Willow and his family at the same time.  “I know, let’s play ’stump Willow with Shakespeare.’”

“Okaaaayyy.”  Though the entire room glared at Chuck’s lack of tact, he echoed the minds of everyone but Chad and Willow.

Chad, on the other hand, was excited.  This would be good.  He passed out the three volume set of Shakespeare from the library and told them to pick a quote, any quote and the game was family vs. Willow.  “First to ten points wins.”

Willow won in five minutes flat with only one error.  Immediately, she took the books from the table and flipped through one carefully for several minutes and then stared at her husband.  “I was not wrong!  That was Much Ado About Nothing!”

At the guilty expression on his face, Willow raced after Chad.  He grabbed his coat and burst through the front door, down the steps, and jumped the fence into the pasture with Willow hot on his heels.  The family stood around the large picture window and watched as she finally dove for his ankles toppling him.  To their surprise, she pounded him. Her fists flew and his head jerked with each blow until Marianne demanded that Chris go put a stop to it.  A minute later, Chris and Willow both pummeled Chad until everyone was sure he’d be unconscious.

Finally, to everyone’s great surprise, Chad jumped to his feet and took a bow, clearly untouched by his ‘beating’.  Chris and Willow, doubled over in laughter and panting exhaustedly, waved with one hand while resting the other on their other knees.   Christopher gave Marianne a strange look and sighed.  “I think our family has corrupted her- or visa versa.”

***

“How can you stand it when he leaves at all hours?”  Emily sat curled on Willow’s couch, the rest of the family sleeping in various rooms.

“Probably because it’s all I’ve ever known.  I guess maybe it should bother me but it doesn’t.”

“Wouldn’t he be able to help you more if he had normal hours?”

“Actually,” Willow mused thoughtfully.  “Just the opposite.  Because he’s awake and home during light hours sometimes, Chad can help with more than if he worked from seven to six every night.”

“But weekends…”

“Maybe.  We don’t do much work on Sunday though.  Not usually anyway.”  Willow shrugged.

“Does it take all day?  I mean, I saw you out there splitting logs and Chad was milking cows-”

“Goat.  Milking the goat.  Just one.”

Emily’s nose wrinkled in disgust.  “How can you stand all that work just to get a glass of milk.  He had to boil stuff and pour it through the cloth and then mark the jar… it was just an awful lot of work.  Why not just buy a gallon at the store?”

“Because I don’t want to have to spend the money, I don’t want to walk five miles to get it and walk five miles home every few days.  I don’t want the pasteurization and homogination to take away some of the nutrients from the milk.  I want it as close as to how God designed it as possible.  Milk is such an amazing food.”

“How long have you lived like this?”

“All my life.  I don’t know any different.  Before last year, I’d never spoken to anyone but my mother, our financial advisor, and a couple of delivery people and even then, rarely.”

“You’re kidding!”

She shook her head smiling indulgently at Emily.   ”Outside Bill our advisor, I could count on both hands the number of conversations I can remember having with anyone but Mother before she died.”

“I don’t know how you do it.  I just don’t know how you can stand it!”

Rather than defend her lifestyle against the unjust prejudice, Willow shrugged.  “I understand that.  I remember how flabbergasted I was when I saw how others live.  The money they spend on things that next year will be obsolete, the dependency on what others provide as to the choices available…”  She gave Emily an embarrassed look.   ”I was so revolted by the lack of space and the artifical things like treadmills to simulate a walk.  I was fascinated by it- I spent a long time on my friend’s treadmill because it was a novel thing to me but when I thought about what it represented, I was appalled.  People manufacturing a simple task like walking didn’t make sense.”

“Marianne thinks you walk on water and generate electricity while you do it.”

“Mom likes playing house out here for a few days at a time every now and then but when it comes down to it, she’s happy to return to her mechanical servants and her stores.”

“Did you ever consider leaving when-” Emily stumbled over the word die and its synonymns.  “It happened?” she ended lamely.

“My financial advisor wanted me to take a job offered to me at a store in Rockland.”

“Boho.  Cheri told me about your children’s designs.”

“Right.  Bill wanted me to come and then get to know him better…”  Willow didn’t feel like explaining.

“And you just said no?”

“Emily, I would have suffocated in the city.  I need fresh air, meaningful work, and I need to decide what I want and don’t want to do.  If there weren’t people like me, vegetables would be obscenely expensive.  Without people like you, when people like me slice through their leg with an old fashioned scythe, they’d die.  We need different people to do different things.  I couldn’t stand your world and you’re not interested in mine.  That’s ok.”

***

A dim light shone in the living room window as Chad arrived home at two a.m.  He had no doubt that Willow would be waiting for him, a sandwich ready and the living room fire blazing to warm him.  Her internal alarm seemed to know exactly when to wake half the time and the other half, he knew she needed her sleep.  Their life, almost from the time he met her, had slowly developed a perfect rhythm and harmony to which nothing he’d ever seen could possibly compare.

“I was wrong.  I expected a sandwich, not stew.”

“I thought after all that turkey at dinner, you might want something different but I can-”

She’d expected it.  As soon as Willow started to pour the stew back in the pan, Chad stole it planting a kiss at her temple.  “You are down right feisty.”

“And you like me that way so quit you’re fussing and eat.”

“How’d it go tonight?”

“Well, I found out Emily won’t be trying to move in anytime soon.”  His laughter erupted loudly enough to make her clamp her hand over his mouth.  “Shh.”

“Not fond of farm life eh?”

“You could say that.  She finds the mud, manure, sweat, and unsterile environment revolting.”

“It’s so much more picturesque in one of those country life magazines isn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” she argued as she led the way to the couch.  “Our magazines were never picturesque.  They were realistic.”

“Well, the country magazines mom always got showed pretty stables with perfectly groomed horses and polished hooves.  Kitchens that never saw berry canning or soap making that’s for sure.  Just a pretty Sunday dinner  and cookies and milk on a school afternoon.”

Willow curled against him sleepily.  “Well, she won’t be buying any goats anytime soon, that’s for sure.”

“Are dad and Chris still planning to make it to the sales?”

“As far as I know.  They’ll probably be up about the time you leave.  Good buy-”

“Best Buy,” he corrected amused.

“Whatever- they’re going there to buy some kind of camera…”

“Got it.  Ok.  I’ve got a list…” Chad fumbled through his pocket and handed it to her.  “Give this to Dad and don’t open it.”

“I take it that you’re not making me that skein winder I asked for?”

As Chad drove back down the driveway, Willow heard the sounds of the men waking up and poured cups of coffee waiting for them.  Christopher entered the kitchen first and found Willow waiting for him. “Chad’s list.  I’m not supposed to look.  I didn’t.  Make sure he knows that.”

***

Chad crawled into bed at six-thirty full, exhausted, and hoping his father was successful with the list.  Willow’s journal lay open where she’d left it before she crawled into bed after he left.

Black Friday,

This is what they call this day.  While the country recuperates from overindulgence, they over indulge in other areas as well.  In some ways, it seems to indicate excess in all forms of American society.  Why else would it take until one month before the end of the year for some businesses to turn a profit?  I cannot comprehend that.

However, when I see the excitement in Chad’s face, the grand elaborate schemes for hiding their plans from each other right under the very noses that they’re deceiving, it all has a delightful air of mystery about it.  I don’t think it’d ever be my ‘thing’ but I love seeing the comaradarie between the men as they sallie forth to slay the gift dragon in their quest to please a loved one.  It’s almost gallant in a strange sort of way.

I spoke with Emily about our life here.  I spoke confidently and I hope, compassionately.  I know I had, well have really, strong opinions about the average American lifestyle.  So much of it seems lazy and self-centered to me but as Chad has pointed out numerous times, I’m just as self-centered in my own way.

It did make me wonder, however.  Just how many of Chad’s dreams and preferences did he give up to marry me?  Am I holding him back from… something?  Did he choose this farm because that’s what it meant if he chose me or did he choose me and got a blessing with the farm?  Is it a blessing to him as it is to me?  He never complains.  He works just as hard as I do and yet, why?

What did he give up to marry me and would I have given up something that great and wonderful to marry him, whatever it was?  I know he loves reading about my childhood but did he really think about what it meant to choose the life that produced it?  I think I am beginning to see just what an amazing man I have married.  Even if this life was his frst choice, he chose me to share it with him.

Me, with all my stubbornness, my… oh my.  I am struck with awe and wonder.  This man loves me.  I know this and when I think of it…  does he have any idea how much I truly love him?

Mother, you prepared me for everything I could ever face in this life- except for how to share it with someone like Chad.  The one area I need the most help now is the one I am sure to fail.  Lord please don’t let me fail him.  Lord please give me the courage to ask about what he wants for his life- for our life.  Prepare me for the answer I just maybe don’t want to hear.

Chad’s face settled into a lazy smile as he slid between fresh sheets that smelled faintly of lavender.  His head sank into the softest pillow he’d ever used, and he pulled quilts and blankets over him that he knew had been made by his wife’s hands.  His sweats and t-shirt appeared like clockwork in his drawers, always fresh and clean.  The scent of the family’s breakfast slowly wafted up the staircase but Chad’s stomach was already full and happy having come home to a breakfast he’d never get anywhere else.

“What I want Lord?  Remind me to tell her I want exactly what I have.  Right here.  Right now.”  As he drifted off to sleep, Chad added one more thought.  “Unless you wanted to add a baby or three into that mix.  That’d be just about exactly right.

Chapter 124~

October

Well, Chad has been back to work for almost six weeks.  He spends much time with target practice when he’s off work. He has all kinds of hand exercises that he does.  I think he’s concerned that as it grows cold, his hand will grow stiffer.  I just don’t know sometimes if he’ll be able to keep working.  At what point, will his hand fail him and will it be in the worst instance possible?

The harvest is over, we are settled in for winter and I’ve been spending the past week trying to make our staples order.  We need salt, oils, spices, baking powder and soda, paraffin, and things like candle wicking.  I didn’t buy those things last year and it shows.  I actually had to have Chad buy me some salt from the store.  How strange.

The packaging from stores astounds me.  I have a dream of running a store where there are no packages. People bring their container, I fill it up with whatever they’re purchasing, weigh it, and charge by the ounce or something.  Can you imagine the waste that could be prevented?  It is incredible.  Of course, I suppose the people who make their living by creating and producing that packaging would be out of work.  That’s what Chad said when I mentioned it.  I wonder what they would do, those people.  Would they decide to live a dream they put on the back burner, or is their packaging job their dream?  Is it arrogant and rude of me to find that a horrifying thought?

I am getting better at the dulcimer.  I bought a book that explains how to read music and a book of music but I find that I prefer to learn it as Chad calls it, ‘by ear’.  I think this is what Mother warned against- this dependency on what I hear rather than knowing how to read and know at sight what to do.  I won’t quit though.  I love sitting in my rocking chair by the kitchen stove and playing music while something bakes.  Chad loves it too.  He doesn’t think I know it, but he comes in the front door, leans against the wall opposite me, and listens.  I can see him standing there as if he was in sight.  I know he leans against the wall, he crosses his arms, tilts his head back, and closes his arms.  If footprints are any indication, he also rests one foot against the wall.

Winter is coming quickly.  The greenhouse is flourishing though.  I am always amazed at how well things grow in there.  I start a fire while I’m in there and it keeps the plants happy.  They don’t grow as lush when it’s cold but they do grow amazingly well if a bit smaller.  I have much more food growing than I need and that was the idea.

On that idea, I have decided to follow Chad’s idea and build a vegetable stand.  I’ll be open Monday through Thursday and let Jill have what produce I don’t sell for her Farmer’s Market.  We both win since she could never sell all that I can produce if I choose.  I’m moving the garden to the alfalfa field next year and will plant alfalfa in the garden spot as well as on some of the land that we bought from Adric.  We’ve been planning the fields and I think it’s going to work.  It’ll be perfect I think.

I am also buying more sheep.  A dozen lambs will be here  next June.  We thought about breeding the sheep but I’m not ready for that yet.  I love the work and I’m ready to take on the spinning and eventually the shearing but I just don’t want to deal with pregnant sheep and new lambs.  Not yet.  Caleb thinks I’m crazy and Ryder is thrilled.  It amazes me how much Caleb loves the animals and how much Ryder is only interested in the plants.  If I ran a full scale operation, I’d hire them both full time to run each aspect of the farm but we’re too small for that.

Chad read the entry in late November and smiled.  So, she knew about his trysts behind the wall as she learned to play the instrument.  It amazed him how perceptive she was.  It also amazed him how often she asked him to go look up something she’d written in her journal.  His experience with Cheri for a sister had taught him that not all women like men reading their journals.

November,

We’re killing the poison ivy and oak.  It took us a while to find Mother’s references to how she did it but once we did, we’re succeeding.  So far, we’ve kept ourselves free from contamination but it isn’t an easy job.  Come spring, we’ll have to walk the entire length of land every other week to eradicate any new growth but if we’re vigilant, we shouldn’t have to worry about it.  Chad did find a new growth of ivy on our land where the trees thin close to Adric’s old property.  Apparently over time seeds blew or something but it’s gone now.  For now.

Chad keeps an unhealthy watch on my cycles.  Honestly, we’ve only been married for six months but sometimes he acts like it’s been six years.  I begin to feel pressured to produce but it isn’t like there’s much I can do about it.  Mother conceived under the least promising of circumstances.  From what I read, it is highly uncommon for the stress of a situation like that to produce a child.  It can, it just usually won’t while I, on the other hand, have the best of circumstances and yet I wait.  Mom Tesdall tells me that the colder it gets, the more she expects to hear news but I cannot imagine why.  I didn’t know temperature had anything to do with it.  I should ask Chad.

Jill has suggested that I consider raising mushrooms.  I always wanted to eat the mushrooms and toadstools that grow wild in our woods but Mother didn’t know and didn’t care to learn which were safe and which were poisonous.  In a controlled environment, it’d be easy to do I guess.  Maybe I should order a book and see what it says.  Mushrooms in our own cooking would be delightful!  I loved the various kinds we had while we were in California and the ones Chad brings home are so ridiculously expensive.

I am growing spoiled in this marriage.  Where I once dreaded the idea of snores across the hallway keeping me up at night, I now find it lonesome when Chad is away from home.  My work load is even lighter than it was when Mother was here even though the amount of work we have has doubled.  I wonder sometimes, what did Mother do?  During the busiest times, I know she was there helping to package butchered chickens or can the garden produce.  I know she did almost all of the alfalfa cutting and storage but Chad did that this year in very little time with that machine of his.

I just can’t remember what she did all day.  Am I forgetting her?  I can still hear her voice singing over the dishes.  Mother was incredibly inefficient with time when she washed dishes.  Why did I never notice that?  I hear her reading me parts of commentaries.  Her voice hasn’t left me but if it weren’t for the thousands of pictures that I have of our life, I am afraid that I would have forgotten her face already.  Even now, unless I glance at the framed picture on my dresser, I don’t remember her.  Is it wrong that I am growing content in her absence?  Is it cold and heartless that I am thankful God sent someone else to be there for me?  I’d love to see her again.  I miss her almost daily but the longer time goes on, the more I realize how much happier she is where she is.  I do think that had I died as an infant, Mother wouldn’t have kept going  She would have given up- or worse.  I see now that her only happiness in the last twenty or so years of her life was in me and the knowledge that someday she’d be with Jesus and away from this earth.

Thanksgiving is this week.  We’re going to have Cheri and Chuck, Mom and Dad Tesdall, and Christopher says he’s bringing someone.  Mom Tesdall is beside herself with excitement.  I had planned to cook several chickens but apparently one must have a turkey for Thanksgiving.  So, I’ll be roasting the bird in the Summer Kitchen because I am not confident in keeping the oven at an even temperature for so long.  Mom Tesdall is baking pecan pie and pumpkin pie.   I’m supposed to make berry cobbler.  Cheri is bringing a ‘green bean casserole’.  Whatever that is.  Chad says I’ll love it or hate it.

Mom Tesdall wants me to teach her how to knit.  She’s bringing ‘everything she needs’ but I have a feeling she’ll have more things than anyone would need to get started but I can’t wait to have them here.  I’ll give her some of the wool I dyed with the Kool-aid packages that Mom sent me.  Every week or two, she sends something because she ‘thought of’ me.  Sometimes I get packets of pretty paper for our journals, fabric, or a book.  Once it was an article on how to dye wool with children’s flavored drink packets.  Oh my mason jars full of brightly colored yarns were so pretty!  I’m going to do that again!

Lily stopped by last week and asked how Chad and I are doing as a couple.  She told me that we needed to focus on us as a couple but I have no idea what that means.  Isn’t that what we do every night when we read to each other, work on our projects, or take a walk?  Isn’t that what our more intimate times are all about?  I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what she meant but I need to remember to ask Chad.  Maybe I’m failing him someway as a wife and I don’t want to do that but maybe we’re just not supposed to look like every other marriage.  Isn’t it reasonable to assume that some marriages will be different than others?  I think it is.  Somehow I think all the introspection into how we’re ‘doing’ could be just as damaging as never thinking about it at all.  What do I know.  I should ask Chad.  Why do I get the feeling that he’ll just laugh at me and roll his eyes at Lily.

Chad’s laughter brought Willow jogging upstairs.  “Did Lily really ask how we’re doing as a couple?”

“Yep.  After I wrote that, I wondered if maybe since I am not pregnant yet she assumed you still lived in the other bedroom or something.”

“Possible.  You know, I didn’t mean to make you feel pressured about pregnancy.”

She pushed him out of the way and pulled open her sock drawer.  “My feet are frozen.”  As she passed him on her way downstairs, she quipped.  “I don’t feel pressured at all.”  At the top of the stairs, he heard her mutter at stage tones for his benefit, “Perhaps all I need is a bit more pressure in my life.”

Chapter 123~

The spiraling descent from the mountains was a study in contrasts.  Slowly the lush greenery gave way to trees, then rolling hills and finally on the highway, they whizzed into the barren brush dotted desert.   As they passed large housing tracts, complete with back yards not large enough for a volleyball game, Willow shook her head.

“There’s all this land… why is everyone so packed together?”

“I don’t know.  You’d think land would be cheap when its unfit for growing and so far from the ocean.”

Willow consulted her map and shook her head.  “It’s just over a hundred miles to the ocean.  That’s not that far.  That’s a trip to Rockland and back.”

Eventually the traffic along the narrow highway thinned, the stoplights disappeared, and they zipped along the road occasionally passed by an SUV or trapped behind a slow moving truck.  The land was hilly, rising and falling from valley to valley though the road but the road seemed straight as it sliced through the landscape.  Odd spiky trees with branches that looked like a medieval mace stood alone against the landscape and occasionally in mini ‘forests’.

At one corner, traffic converged  between highways but Chad continued straight ahead.  Fields of solar panels flanked them on the left in direct opposition to the blank canvas of scrubby nothingness on their right.  After a steep climb, a strange cluster of buildings, one with a gigantic ‘ping-pong ball’ on top, appeared on their left.  The sign, as they rolled past slower than before, identified it as a closed federal penitentiary.

“Are you sure this is the way to Death Valley?”

“We’re going to Ridgecrest first.  It’s called the ‘Gateway to Death Valley’ but I’ll confess, I’m going there because it is mentioned in one of Ted Dekker’s books and I want to see it.  I think it’s a little out of the way to get to Death Valley but it has hotels so I thought it’d be more comfortable too.”

“I think this is so amazing.  There are a million colors of brown and green that I’ve never seen before!”  Willow’s eyes never stopped roaming the countryside as she pointed out trails, motorcyclists, and the occasional jackrabbit.

A huge sign that read, “Ridgecrest, Gateway to Death” with the word Valley blackened out loomed in the distance.  Around the curve, after turning onto a new road, the car sped up a slight hill and slowly showed the valley below them.  “That’s Ridgecrest.”

“Down there?”

“Yep.”

“But, there’s no ridge.  That’s a valley!”  Willow wasn’t the first person to be confused by the oxymoronic name.

“I think that valley is called the Indian Wells Valley.”

“Why did they-”

Chad interrupted her laughing.  “I don’t know!  Maybe ask someone in the town.  I just know the name.”

“The name is stupid.”

“That,” he commented still laughing, “I’ll agree with.”

***

Chad felt like a fool.  Who knew that a little place like Ridgecrest would be low on hotel rooms.  As they’d driven into town, they’d seen dozens of motels but when they arrived at the Springhill his travel plans suggested, he discovered them booked solid.  The hotel sent them back up the street to the Carriage Inn who in turn, suggested the Heritage on the next major street parallel to their current one.

Whether their directions were inaccurate or Chad in his frustration didn’t listen well, he turned left rather than right.  They passed several churches, a large area of empty land, and then rolled at a snail’s pace down the wide and now residential street.  Children walked home from school terrifying Chad at their antics and as he saw UPS trucks whizzing by much too fast on the twenty-five mile per hour stretch.  At the next stop sign, Chad turned left and made a u-turn in a parking lot.  It wasn’t supposed to be this far.

“Maybe I was supposed to turn right at that light instead of left.”

“There’s a man out there digging a hole.  Stop and I’ll ask.  What’s the name of the place again?”

Forcing himself to keep his thoughts to himself, Chad pulled over and watched as Willow hurried to the side of the hole.  Children of various ages spilled from the house listening curiously as Willow asked directions.  The youngest, bounced up to her excitedly and said, “Mommy is getting a purple tree!”

“A purple tree!  Wow!  I’ve never seen a purple tree.”

The man laughed. “It has purple flowers- a Jacaranda.  My wife loves them.”

“Well, thank you for the directions.  I hope your tree is very happy in its new home.”

Chad, shaking his head as Willow chattered about the tree, wondering what a Jacaranda looked like and how all of those children had fit into that tiny house, drove toward the hotel.  “I can’t believe how you just stop and ask anyone anything.”

“I can’t believe you’d drive in circles for an hour rather than ask.”

“I can’t believe how we have the world’s most unusual life and marriage and are still exactly like every married couple I’ve ever seen!” Chad countered as he pulled into the hotel parking lot.  “It’s almost scary.”

***

Ninety-eight miles from Ridgecrest , Chad and Willow pulled up to the famous “Scotty’s Castle” and marveled at the beauty of the desert villa before ever exiting the car.  The sun was hot overhead and while they’d enjoyed the top down on their convertible for most of their California trip, the mountains and deserts were both too cool and too warm to be comfortable.  A castle tour started only five minutes after they arrived and as they wandered through the rooms with original furniture and clothing and serenaded by the massive pipe organ.  Immediately following, they wandered the quarter mile of tunnels and were fascinated by the alternate power options.

“Why don’t they finish the pool?”  Willow couldn’t comprehend storing thousands of tiles for almost a hundred years instead of completing the project.

“The depression hit and the funds weren’t there.  It isn’t your typical swimming pool.  It’s quite elaborate,” the tour guide answered lazily.

“All this room for two people,” Willow commented to Chad as they wandered the grounds.  “They have staff housing.  Who needs staff when you have nothing else to do?”

“Maybe they wanted to spend all day playing that organ.”

“Or building the pool,” she quipped laughing.  “I can’t imagine all this space and time and what you’d do with yourself if you didn’t have work to do.”

“So in the immortal words of Carroll O’Connor in Return to Me, ‘I’m blessed with work.’”

“What’s Return to Me?”

Chad laughed.  “A movie I’ll let my mom know you haven’t seen.  You’ll love it.”

Before she could respond, a strange looking creature darted across the desert floor and Willow chased after it.  She shouted for Chad to head it off on the left and then pounced like a cat.  “I got it!  What is it?”

Howling, Chad poked at the little horned toad and said, “Horned toad.  It’s a kind of lizard I think.”

“Oh it’s cute.  I wonder if it could live in Fairbury?”

“Probably not and even if it could, the airline wouldn’t let him come.”

Disappointed, Willow put the critter back on the ground and watched him skitter away again.  “He was so unique!”

“Let’s get pictures of this.  I want our children to see what amazing places we visited.”  Chad tugged at her hand leading her away from the bush.

***

“And here we are in Napa Valley,” Chad described the train ride they’d taken, the beautiful vineyards, and the incredible climate.

“The next one is at the capital.  The woman that took it had the most adorable little boy- all smiles.  Her daughters were a little shy but so cute watching their little brother while mom took our picture.”

“They were there on a field trip,” Chad explained.  “See all those kids milling around with all those parents?  Homeschoolers.  The place was packed with them.”

“I liked that mom.  What was her name again?”

“Dawn.  She had such a great time with her kids and those girls were so adorable talking about the state legislature and everything.”

Marianne Tesdall pointed at a picture of the Golden Gate bridge.  “Was it as beautiful in person as the pictures?”

Willow shook her head.  “It’s prettier from afar but the most amazing thing were the cable cars and the BART.”

Chad laughed at that one.  “Mom, this woman fell apart in the Aquarium seeing all that water around her so I didn’t tell her where the BART ran until after we got back across the bay.  She thinks it is the neatest thing ever.”

“Well, now that I won’t have to ride it again, it’s amazing but if I had to go under there now, forget it.”

“Here is the Jelly Belly factory,” Chad said excitedly.  “That was a blast.  The boy who took our picture here was a neat kid.  He told us where to go for lunch, showed off his new baby brother, and introduced us to his mom.”

‘I liked the little guy- he was what, about five?  He told us all about the factory- we didn’t need a tour guide just him.”

“Another field trip?”  Christopher laughed at Chad and Willow hugging a giant jelly bean.

“More homeschoolers.  I think we ran into more homeschoolers in California than I have in my whole life,” Chad insisted.  “It was nice to see though.  Somehow I always pictured them hiding out in the house until the school kids got home and then trying to blend in.”

“Fairbury has good schools, don’t they?”

Before his parents could get sidetracked on educational choices, Chad pulled out the pictures of Pismo beach, the PCH, and Santa Barbara.

“I loved the Santa Barbara mission the most I think.  It was amazing and the whole town was beautiful.  We walked along streets and window shopped, they had a great museum, and oh that IHOP with the tree inside!”

“There was a tree inside the building?”  Marianne shook her head.

“Fig tree. It was such an unusual thing to be sitting there next to a tree!”  Willow’s eyes glazed over in memory.

“I think I liked the hills behind Ojai best.  Those streams and the rocks…”

“I think it all sounds amazing.  Did you go to the beach much?”

“It was pretty cool most of the time but we had fun anyway.  There is so much to do in California, I was amazed.”  Willow grinned at Chad.  “Yes Chad, you were right.  I sit in awe at your marvelous suggestion!”

“He’s just dragging out the inevitable.  Day after tomorrow, he has to go back to work.”

“Mom!”  Chad grinned as he protested but Willow noticed him clenching his right hand at his side.

She grew quiet as she listened to the banter between Chad and his parents and watched Chad’s face.  Two of the scratches had left scars.  The one near his right eye was usually lost in the crinkles around his eyes as he laughed but when relaxed, it showed just how close he’d come to losing the eye.  The other, no laugh line or wrinkle would ever hide.  It cut across his cheek at an odd angle making him look almost sinister when he was thinking hard or angry.

Perhaps they should have taken the suggestion for corrective surgery more seriously but at the time, both Chad and Willow had endured all of the medical intervention into their lives that they could handle.  Now, Willow wasn’t so sure.  Would he regret it in ten or twenty years when children or grandchildren stroked his cheek and wondered why his face looked perpetually scratched?

“What did you say?”

“I asked what your favorite part of California was,” Marianne repeated patiently.

“I think,” she answered finally, “It wasn’t a particular place- it was how everything changed from one mile to the next… well, except maybe for the desert.  That seemed to go on forever at times, but then you’d climb a hill and it’d be completely different.  I’ve never imagined something like that before.  I’ve only know my farm and a little bit of Rockland in the past year or so.”

“Will you want to travel again?”  Christopher winked at his son.  He knew what Chad had been thinking.

“Oh Definitely!”

Chapter 122~

“Will you take our picture?”  Willow held up their digital camera eagerly.

The petite red headed woman smiled and nodded.  “Certainly.  You want it in front of the sign?”

Willow bounced excitedly.  “Yes!  Everyone keeps telling us to eat at In-n-Out so we’re doing it.”

The little boy with the woman watched them shyly and smiled as his mother insisted they ’say cheese’ before she snapped the button.  “Here you go.  You’re not from California then?”

“No.  We’re from Rockland.  Just on vacation- on our way to the mountains.”  Chad jerked his hand at the restaurant behind him.  “What do you recommend in there.”

The woman laughed.  “You have a choice of hamburgers, fries, hamburgers, or fries.  That’s all they serve but they’re famous for them.”

“Thanks for the picture.”

“The mountain is a great place to go especially now that the biggest vacation time is over.  It’ll be quieter.”  The woman took a few steps away and then turned and said, “God bless you two.  Have a wonderful vacation and a safe trip home.”

“Thank you- um…”

“Annie. You’re welcome.”  She hesitated.  “You know, look under the cups and on the wrappers and the fry box.  There’s a tiny message on them that always blesses me.”

While Annie and her son disappeared into a vehicle and drove away, Chad and Willow stood before the cash register and ordered double-double cheeseburgers with grilled onions, fries, and chocolate shakes, ‘for here’.  They watched the employees as the cut fries, put fresh meat on the grill, and literally toasted the buns.  By the time their number was called, Willow had decided to buy Chad one of the gaily colored t-shirts as a souvenir.  She could just imagine him milking Ditto’s successor or giving the next dinner cow water while wearing that shirt.  The irony of it tickled her

“Well, I have to admit, they’re good.  They’re really good.”

Willow nodded her agreement and examined her burger wrapper closely.  “Look, this is what she- Annie, was talking about.  Nahum 1:7 is printed right there!”

“The verse?”  Chad looked at his wrapper but didn’t find it.  Finally he saw the reference.  “I wish I had my Bible.”

“It’s um…oh man.  The one about the Lord being helpful in trouble and that He knows who trusts in Him.”

Chad was already examining his cup.  He lifted the lid and glanced inside, checked the seam, and finally lifted it to look beneath.  “This one has Proverbs 3:5.”

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

“Impressive.”

“Isn’t it!”  Willow was thrilled.  “I can’t imagine what made them do it but it’s brilliant.  You put it out there without preaching and trust that it won’t return void.”

Laughing, Chad swallowed hard and tried to get a drink after choking on his burger.  The shake didn’t work.  “Get- Coke,” he begged.

Willow raced to buy a drink, tipped the cup on the way to fill it, and hurried back.  “This one says John 3:16.”

After a few gulps. Chad took a deep breath.  “So they’re ready in season… or is that seasoning.”

“Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.  There’s nothing on the fry thing that I can see.”  Chad looked disappointed.

“I never thought I’d read wrappers so carefully.  I wonder how many people actually look up the reference.”  Unaware of Chad’s amusement at her expense, Willow glanced around the restaurant trying to see if anyone noticed the little words that meant so much to her.

As he watched, delighted with her perspective on life, free of the cynical thoughts he had about the effectiveness of a tiny Bible reference that few would see and even fewer would read, Chad took a deep breath and sighed.  “Lass…”

“Hmm?”  She didn’t even look his way.

“I love you.”

A slow smile spread across her face as she turned to see what prompted his latest reminder.  “That is really nice to hear.”

 

***

The climb into the mountains began almost immediately after they left the restaurant.  Tight winding roads wound around the mountain on a slow climb with occasional turn outs.  Willow, of course, wanted to stop, take in the view, while Chad in typical male fashion was on a mission to conquer the destination in as little time as possible.  Her eyes widened as he snapped for her to sit down when she tried to rise onto her knees to see the view below them.

“What is wrong with you!”

“If we got in an accident, you’d be thrown out and killed.  Get down.”

“Then pull over!”

“There’ll be views when we get there Willow, we just got started again.”  The irritation hadn’t left his voice.

Willow sank into her seat, correcting the seatbelt and staring at Chad in shock, hurt, and dismay.  “What is the rush Chad?  I don’t understand.”

“We just got back on the road and you want to pull over already.”

“And I ask again,” she repeated very slowly, “What is the rush?  So what if we just got back on the road?  I thought the idea was to see California, not to whiz past it as quickly as possible.”

The logic was irrefutable but Chad was peeved.  “And I’ll say again, why do you want to stop when we just got going again!”

“Because I want to see!”

The next turnout Chad swerved into the turnout slamming on his brakes as he did.  “There.  Have at it.”

Lost as to why Chad was being so grumpy, Willow grabbed their camera and left the car feeling half-abandoned.  So far, he’d been interested when she wanted to see this or that but she knew instinctively that he didn’t plan to move from his seat.  Two cars passed before she could jog across the road and lean against the railing that helped keep cars from tumbling down the hill if they slid off the pavement.

The view was breathtaking.  Trees slowly gave way to dirt and then buildings rose up from the ground.  Cars zipped to unknown places and while the air was crisp and clean from her vantage point, she could see a brownish-gray haze over the valley below her.  “Chad, is that haze down there, is that pollution?” she called curiously

“Yes.”  His answer was curt.

“Wow, you can see it!  I can sense it in Rockland sometimes.  It feels like I can’t get enough air, but I’ve never seen it like this.”

Ignoring his grunt, she snapped a few pictures and walked across the road.  The car door was stuck with the seatbelt trapped into it.  Chad irritably kicked it from the inside while she lifted on the handle and then stumbled back against the mountain at the force of the door flying open.  “Ooof.”

The moment she was buckled, Chad shot out on the highway.  They drove up the mountain, the wind flying through their hair, what of it Chad kept on his head, and at the top where Chad should have made a right turn, in his haste and irritation, he made a left. Willow watched the trees fly by, amazed as she saw houses packed together and set into the side of the mountain.  Eventually, Chad pulled into the parking lot of Johnnie’s Market and General Store grabbing his printouts and grumbling over them.

“What’s wrong?”

“This isn’t right.  We should be in Arrowhead by now but that sign I just saw says Lake Gregory which…” he turned the papers as if they’d tell him something different.  “According to this, is the opposite direction from Lake Arrowhead.”

“Well, let’s ask someone.”

“I’ll figure it out,” he groused.

A dark green Suburban pulled up beside their car.  A cute teenager jumped out with a bright smile on her face. “Cool car!”

“Thank you,” Willow answered smiling.  “Can you tell us how to get to Lake Arrowhead?”

Another voice broke in before the girl could answer.  “It’s only about ten miles back down the road.  You take Lake to Hwy 18 to Hwy 189.  Where are you going in Arrowhead?”

Willow smiled at a sweet looking woman with an adorable baby on her hip.  “I don’t remember, what’s the name of that inn Chad?”

“Lakeview Lodge.”

“Oh!  That’s a lovely place,” the woman continued before being interrupted by a child in the backseat of her car.  “Coming Si.”

“I want to see the car!  Can I see the car?”

Before the mother could ask, the young woman dashed around to help her little brother and sister from their seats.  Small children swarmed the convertible jumping and squealing.  The boy gave Chad a serious expression and asked, “Where are you going in that car?”

“We’re trying to find some place to sleep.”

“You don’t have a house?”

Chad laughed.  “Not in California but back where we live, we have a little farm with sheep, a cow, a dog, and a goat.”

“We have goats!”  The boy’s eyes lit up excitedly.  “The mama is going to have babies.”

“That sounds very exciting.”

“Are you going fishing?” 

With mock sorrow, Chad shook his head.  “I wish I could but we didn’t bring our fishing gear.”

“My daddy has fishing poles and a boat and everything.  You could go fishing with him.”

“Si, let’s go in now.”

“I was telling him- I was telling him how to go fishing.”

Chad and Willow watched as the family disappeared into the store and then Willow sighed.  “Wasn’t he adorable?”

“Yeah.  Did you see that baby?”

“She was so cute!”

He took a deep breath and laced his fingers through hers.  “Sorry Lass.  I was being a bear.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“I don’t either. I think it’s genetically wired into men to focus on a destination and any obstacle to that destination must be eradicated at all costs.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t know but I remember when I was a kid, I hated it when Dad refused to stop.  He’d be zipping past all the best places while we all begged him to stop.  When did I become my dad?”

“I don’t know,” Willow answered shrugging her shoulders, “But usually I’d say that was a good thing.  Just not in this one.  I want to enjoy this trip.”

“I’m going to do it again.”

Willow grinned.  “I know.”

 

***

“This is a mountain lodge?” 

The door to their cabin stood open revealing a shabby chic and Victorian dream.  The room was beautiful; there was no mistaking that.  However, there was nothing like the mountain lodge they’d anticipated.  Their imaginations had conjured ideas of log furniture, pine trees, boats, bears, and similar things but instead, they found roses, wreaths, antiques, and the delicate scent of floral candles.

“Well, it’s pretty,” Chad commented carefully.

“Well, yes.  It is.  The bed looks comfortable.  It’s huge!”

“It’s quiet up here,” he tried again.

Their laughter rang out hysterically.  Chad dropped their suitcases by the door and flagged down the owner as she hurried to her car.  “Can you get a picture of us please?”

The innkeeper crossed the yard quickly taking the camera as she did.  “Do you have plans for the day?”

“We were just going to drive around and see the area.”

“Try Woody’s down on the Lake.  It has a beautiful view.”  She handed them their camera and waved with the admonition, “Just let us know if you need anything.”

Chad waved at her and then pointed to the suitcases.  “So, you want to try hiking around?”

“I’m starving.”

“Ok, change, food, water for hiking.  In that order.”

Within the hour, Chad parked at the north shore campground, and they took off up hiking trails.  Willow was fascinated with the nature around them.  She listened for birds, watched squirrels darting to the campsites and racing back to their homes.  She dropped her water bottle and started to retrieve it but Chad grabbed her hand.  “What are you doing!”

“Getting my bottle?”

“That’s poison oak!”

She stared at it with a disgusted look.  “Oh.  Mother hated that stuff.”

“You’ve never seen it?  The woods around Rockland are full of it!”

“Mother killed it.  By the time I was nine or ten, it was gone.  She didn’t let me anywhere near where it was.  I think,” Willow confessed giggling, “Mother had a bad experience with it.”

“How do you kill all the poison ivy and oak in such a big area?”

“Diligence.  Mother was nothing if not diligent.”

Half an hour later, she was an expert at identifying, and avoiding, all poison ivy and oak thanks to Chad’s careful training.  “We’ll have to read what Mother did to kill that on your land so we can kill it from the land we bought from Adric,” Willow mused absently as they climbed.

“Do you have any idea how amazing it is that we have that record?  Do you have any clue how rare it is to know so much about your parents’ day to day lives?  I have no idea how mom learned to cook, or to rear children or anything like that.  I can ask but I don’t have a ready reference at my fingertips like you do.”

“We do.”

Arms around his wife, he looked out over the tree covered mountains and agreed quietly. “We do.”

CONTEST time….

On their trip through California, Willow and Chad hear the legendary Big Gerry!  (Click on the link to hear a sample of the music!)  Now look at the sweet dude…

He comes every Christmas to Santa’s Art Shop in Ridgecrest California and I love him!  His Sierra Christmas CD is out of this world!  I LOVE it.  It’s one of my favorite Christmas CD.

The Prize?

I’m going to do a random number generator on Valentine’s Day!  You can post all the entries you like!  Post all day if it floats your boat.  but… you have to post them over at Fairbury Tales.

Chapter 121~

The car whizzed down the freeway on Saturday afternoon.  The initial traffic congestion that they’d encountered seemed gone as they zipped past exciting names like Laguna Beach, San Clemente, and Oceanside and in less time than expected, they pulled into the huge Ikea parking lot.  The expression on Willow’s face was priceless.

“That store is the size of the Rockland mall!”

“Well, no, it’s not that big but it seems like it, doesn’t it.”  Chad hurried to open her door.  “Mom went to one in Chicago and loved it.  Rockland is supposed to get one in two years.  I can’t wait!”

Chad’s enthusiasm made no sense to her but Willow tried to enter into the spirit of the shopping trip wondering what about a store could be so marvelous.  “Do they sell books?”

“No.”

She nodded. There was no way the store could be all that wonderful unless…  “What about fabric?”

“Maybe,” he said trying to remember if his mother had said she could buy fabric to match or that she wished she could.  “I think so.”

“I need a restroom.  I’ll meet you out here in a minute.”

A woman with over half a dozen children, some dressed in coordinating clothing, stood outside the bathrooms waiting for something or someone.  Willow smiled at them and asked if the line went out the door but the woman assured her that they were finished.  “My friend is in there with her girls.  I’m just keeping an eye on the rest of us.”

Inside the restroom, a woman helped small children wash hands and dry them carefully.  “Are you ladies a school or…”

“Just friends hangin’ out together.”

“You have lovely children.”  Willow didn’t know what else to say.  She’d never seen anyone except for Aggie with so many children and these two women appeared to have just as many.

Outside the restrooms, Willow pointed out the women to Chad as they stepped into the elevator and as the doors shut said, “They each have at least half a dozen children!  I thought only Aggie-”

“Lots of people have larger families.  Not as many as have small ones, no.  But they stand out more.”

Once the elevator opened, the topic of large families flew out the window.  Chad and Willow wandered through the showroom looking at kitchens, bedrooms, living spaces, and offices.  The rooms were nothing like anything Willow had ever seen or imagined.  A side of her loved them while another side of her found them too sterile.

The marketplace was another story.  She wandered from dishes to organizers to rugs amazed at the sheer volume of items sold in one single location.  Chad was nearly as awed and kept saying, “And people call Wal-mart the mega store.  These people actually manufacture all this stuff expressly to sell in this place.”

To his amazement, Willow wandered back through the marketplace at one point, grabbed a cart, and started shopping.  She found organizer boxes and crates and stuffed them in the cart.  How she expected to get home with the huge bags of things, he didn’t know but when they arrived at the check-out counter and found that they had to buy big blue bags to carry it all out, Willow’s smug satisfaction was almost too comical.

“Finally someone who sells wisely.  People can bring these back every time and save store and customer a fortune in bags that are otherwise useless.”

“Well, some people use them for trash later but-”

“But you can’t burn plastic without it stinking horribly.  Paper and cloth are better.”

Outside the store, Willow glanced up at Chad apologetically.  “I’m starving.  I think I forgot to eat breakfast this morning.”

“Well there’s fast food here but maybe we should find something a little… better.”

“Where do we find better?”  Willow was eager.  She’d had fast food only a few times and didn’t care for it.

“Maybe we can find a visitor’s center or-”

Before he finished, she was off and hurrying down a parking row.  Chad shook his head as he realized she was chasing down the mothers from the bathroom.  “Oh Willow, only you-”

“Excuse me!  Can you help us?”

At the sound of Willow’s voice, the women glanced at each other nervously and immediately issued orders for their children to get in the two large vans parked side by side.  “Well…” the blonde one hedged.

“You see, we’re visiting from out of state and well, we don’t know this area at all.  In Santa Monica someone suggested a good restaurant and it was great so we thought maybe you’d have an idea for something San Diego-ish for a food recommendation?”

The dark haired woman shrugged and pointed to her friend.  “That’s your department Melissa.  I don’t know anything around here yet.”

“El Zarape down on Park.  Here.”

In minutes, Willow raced down the row to their car waving a sheet of paper with directions to the ‘best fish taco in the San Diego area’.  “She said we wouldn’t regret it.”

“I already do,” he muttered under his breath revolted at the idea of fish in tacos.  “I hope they have other tacos too.”

“Oh come on, have some sense of adventure- turn left.”

“How far away is this place?”

Willow sighed impatiently.  “She said two or three miles.  Turn left at the next street.”

“I can’t believe you asked total strangers where to go for food.”

Willow hadn’t, until this trip, been inducted into the not-so-secret society of wives with husbands who cannot fathom the concept of asking for directions.  Now, she sat staring at him as though he was insane.  “You’re kidding me, right?  People ask you directions to places every day and you’re surprised that I asked someone?”

“I’m a cop.  People ask cops.  They don’t ask strangers on the street.”

“But you’re still a stranger!  You’re an officer but you’re still a stranger.”

Chad didn’t know how to make her understand why people should and do trust officers over the average Joe on the street.  As they pulled up to the restaurant, Chad had to drive half a block, park and they walked back.  “I can’t believe we’re eating at a hole in the wall like this.  It’s insane.”

Willow finally stopped in the center of the sidewalk and waited for her to look at her.  “Do you not want to go here?  I thought you were joking but if you really don’t want this, then let’s find something you do want.”

“This is fine.”

“Is it?” she demanded.  “It doesn’t sound like it’s ok.  It sounds like it’s a problem.”

“I just didn’t expect lunch at a greasy spoon but I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“I think,” she said finally, “I think I’d rather skip it.  It’s not worth it.  There’s that pizza we saw.  Let’s go back there.”

Chad knew he’d been a jerk.  Willow had decided she was hungry, didn’t want fast food, found another alternative without expecting him to know what to do in a strange place and he’d done nothing but complain because the idea of fish tacos made his stomach churn.  There was no reason not to go have a normal beef or chicken taco and let her enjoy her disgusting choice.  Even as he thought it, he realized that he was still being a twit.

“Willow, will you do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

Her attitude surprised him.  He’d expected a bit of sulking in the least.  “Will you go order a fish taco and whatever else you want in there and pretend I wasn’t a first-class jerk right now?”

She grinned.  “You’re sure?”

Even as she said it, Chad felt even more stupid than ever.  Since when had Willow ever sulked?  “I’m more than sure.  You eat fish.  I’ll get carne or something.”

***

Monday morning, they took off to visit the San Diego Mission.  To Chad’s surprise, Willow was a storehouse of information about the San Diego Mission.  While Chad was ready to enter and begin the tour, Willow stood outside looking up to see the bells and described which was original and telling him about how the other large bell was made from remnants of the original bells.  She described when the bells were commissioned and why and the one day a year that all five bells ring at the same time.

“How do you know so much about this mission?”

“I loved the missions as a child so Mother bought several books on them.  This was the first mission so I studied it s extensively as I could.  Every time I think of those priests who came to evangelize- it just amazes me what a wonderful thing that was.”

“Wonderful!  Willow, they enslaved those Indians- Native Americans- whatever.  They were cruel and forced Christianity on them.  How can that be wonderful?”

“I didn’t say,” she began patiently, “That how they did it was wonderful.  I think that they did do it was.  They came in and did what they thought was right.  Their hearts were in the right place even if their actions weren’t the right actions.”

“The heart is deceitful and wicked and what those priests did was too.”

Impatiently, she climbed the steps.  At the top, she turned to Chad and sighed.  “I am not justifying each of their actions but if you read their writings, their motives were to teach the lost about Jesus.  They cared about the souls of those Indians.  That is what I find wonderful.”

As she described the different aspects of life in the mission, the chapel, the gardens- Chad was amazed.  Every word was spoken with genuine interest and attention to detail.  Several other tourists followed them listening and occasionally asking questions.  When one tourist commented about how the Native Americans had been forced to live at the missions, Willow shook her head emphatically.

“The primary source documents of the time say otherwise.  They only had room at the mission for about half of the  natives to live here at a time and there is no evidence that they could not come and go at will between rotations.”

Later that afternoon, Willow and Chad walked along the shoreline of one of San Diego’s beaches and watched as the sun slowly sank in the sky.  A photographer caught the late afternoon rays as a little girl spun gleefully in the water letting her beautiful white dress get soaked along the hemline.  Just as Willow pointed her out to Chad, the woman turned and snapped the picture of Willow with one arm around Chad’s waist, her face looking up into his and her arm pointing at something that would make those looking at the picture wonder.

The woman moved slowly through the sand pulling a business card from the back pocket of her jeans.  “Hi.  I’m Lisa.  I just had to take that picture.  It’s going to be great.”  She passed the business card to Chad.  “Send me an email and I’ll give you a link to the picture when I have it up on my website.  I won’t make it public without your permission of course.”

“Thank you!  I’d love to pay you for your trouble! I’ve-” Willow began.

“No charge.  You didn’t ask me to take it but I wanted you to have a way to get one if you wanted it.  Have a great day.”

Without another word, the woman returned to her previous photography without another look back at the couple now reading the card.  “Having a Ball- Contemporary Children’s Photography.  Interesting name but she captured us doing that I guess so it fits.”

Willow could hardly contain her excitement.  While they’d taken pictures of each other and the places they’d seen, having a picture of them, at the ocean, at such a beautiful time of day was something she could only have hoped for.  There were very few pictures of Willow with her Mother for obvious logistical reasons and the ones that she did have were dear to her.  She wanted these days with Chad captured not only for her own benefit but for the children she prayed would love them some day.

“Oh Chad.  We need to remember to have people take our picture for us.  That man in Santa Monica would have done it. Let’s remember to do that.”

They wandered the shore until it grew dark enough to return to the hotel and dress for dinner.  Willow pulled her favorite skirt and top from the suitcase to iron but Chad shook his head.  “Do you have your white one?”

“That’s my best dress!”

“This is a nice restaurant.  We should dress up a little.”

“Oaks nice?”

Chad laughed. “No, not that nice but nicer than Boho casual.”

True to Willow’s personality, while Chad ate filet mignon, she enjoyed scallop and shrimp fettuccini.  They talked for ages about the different foods she wanted to try and why. She couldn’t understand why he was eating the same thing he always enjoyed when there were so many new things to enjoy and appreciate.

“So,” she began changing subjects.  “Where do we go after this?”

“Well, I thought about Palm Springs and golfing but I think we’ll go up to the mountains next.  We can go to Death Valley and Scotty’s Castle instead of Palm Springs.”

“The mountains.  What do we do in the mountains?”

This wasn’t a question he’d expected.  “What do you mean?”

“Do you have something planned or are we just going to take it as it comes?”

“Well, I have the Haunted Cottage at the Saddleback Inn reserved up at Lake Arrowhead.”

“There’s a lake in the mountains?”  Willow’s voice rose a little too high causing a few nearby diners to glance at her curiously.

“Yep.”

“But, I don’t understand,” she persisted.  I thought the snow melted off the mountain so why isn’t the lake at the bottom of the mountain?”

Chad shrugged eating his steak with relish.  “I don’t know but it isn’t.  At the base of the mountain is desert according to my map.  Lots of desert. Miles and miles of nothing but shrubs and sand.”

“Wow.”

Chapter 120~

LAX was a bustling homogeny of languages, cultures, and Willow found them all extremely fascinating.  While Chad raced to find their rental agency and secure their car, Willow engaged in the age-old practice of people watching.  The languages fascinated her most.  Heavy accents made even English speaking people sound exotic and from another world.

“Come on, let’s go.  I got us a cool Mitsubishi Spyder!  We’ll tour the coast and let the wind whip through our-” he pause grinning.  “Well, your hair anyway.”

In the car, Willow handed him an envelope with the dozens of printouts that he’d brought home from work.  The envelope made him laugh.  Palm trees, Route 66 signs, cacti, mountains, and surf boards covered the outside of the envelope.  When had she had time to decorate an envelope for his Mapquest printouts? “You’re amazing.”

“What?”

“It’s pretty.  You even made an envelope for directions ‘pretty’.  Who does that?”

Willow shrugged and accepted the envelope back sans directions to the hotel.  “I do.  Who wants a boring gold envelope for everything?”

The sheer volume of cars that spilled from the airport in constant streams overwhelmed Willow immediately.  “I thought Rockland was busy but-”

“Well, this is the airport and we came straight to it from Fairbury so we missed the traffic, but yeah, LA has amazing traffic.”

“Ok, after I merge onto CA-1N, what do I do?”

Willow read the directions carefully.  “Turn left on Pico Boulevard and then-”

“That’s enough.  I just needed to know if I needed the right or left lane when I got to the 1 north.”

As they pulled up to the hotel, Willow gave him an odd look.  “Seriously, Hotel California?  You’re joking right?”

“Cool isn’t it?”

“Unoriginal is more like it.”

“Come on Willow, the Eagles song?  It’s cool!”

She shrugged and grabbed her tote.  “We going in or are we going to sit out here and contemplate the beauty of the décor?”

Once they stepped into their room, Willow was in awe.  She stood, suitcase handle in one hand, tote bag in the other, and stared out the window at the rolling surf.  “It’s so- big!  Look- it goes forever and it’s loud!  I can hear it all the way up here.”

Chad grabbed her hand and tugged.  “Come on, let’s go see.”

Willow found herself following him down steps, onto the sand, and stumbling as they raced through it to the water’s edge.  Swiftly, she kicked off her sandals and stepped onto the cool wet sand and waited for the waves to crash over her feet.  “Oooh.  It’s cold!”

Her feet danced backwards.  Chad, still rolling his pant legs up mocked her for being a wimp.  “Come on, just a little cold water and you run!”

“I didn’t expect it to be so cold.  It’s beautiful out here but that water is cold.”

“Want to learn how to find a sand crab?”

His excitement was infectious.  Chad waited for the next wave, dug near the edge of the water and pulled the tiny crab from the hole where it tried to burrow deeper into the sand.  Immediately, Willow began digging as a new wave crashed over her feet.  “I got one! Oh its so tiny and cute.  Do they get any bigger?”

“I’ve only seen them about this size but the males are a little smaller I think.”

“I can’t believe how you can actually smell the salt in the air.  I always thought that was just an example of literary imagery.  I never dreamed it was salty enough to smell.”

“Check out the pier.”  Chad pointed to the famous Santa Monica pier with its Ferris wheel towering over the nearby shops and restaurants.  “That Ferris wheel is even taller than the roller coaster.”

“I’ve always wanted to ride a Ferris wheel.”

This was surprising.  Of all the things Willow might have ever wanted to do, something involving heights was the last thing he’d imagined.  “I can’t believe you want to be up that high.  I distinctly remember you hating the heights of the buildings in Rockland.”

“I’ve gotten used to them,” she protested.  “I don’t think I ever realized how tall a Ferris wheel would have to be but I still think I want to try it.”

“Really?”  If she was willing to try the Ferris wheel, maybe the roller coaster wasn’t such a pipe dream after all.

“But don’t expect me to get on that other thing.  It looks fast!”

“Well, it probably is but it’s just a ride.  Hundreds of people probably ride that thing every day.  Maybe thousands.”

“And the first time I saw a movie,” she reminded him ruefully, “I lost my dinner because the screen spun too much.  How do you think I’d do if something was actually spinning?”

“You have a point.  Maybe on an empty stomach and with your eyes closed?”

Scrutiny was an understatement compared to the examination Willow gave Chad.  Did he really want her to try something so crazy?”  “Are you going on it?”

“Oh without a doubt.”

“Hmmph.  We’ll see.  I might feel more daring tomorrow.  I’m hungry.”

The switch in topics took Chad several seconds to process.  “Well, there are places on the pier I’m sure…”

On a nearby rock, a photographer snapped pictures of a father, mother, and their two very young children.  “I’ll go ask if they can recommend something.”

Before Chad could stop her, she fought her way barefooted through the sand carrying her sandals as she went.  He watched closely, seeing the woman point one way, the man point another, and the photographer finally shaking his head and agreeing with the woman.  Willow’s thanks was evident even from fifty yards away and he smiled as he realized she was complimenting them on their children.

Children.  Someday that would be them in the park in Fairbury and Wes would be the one taking the picture.  Some tourist would ask directions to the lake and Willow would give them as though coming from her house rather than from town and send them around the long way.  He’d suggest another and Wes would prove him right pointing in the same direction he’d suggested moments previously.  Chad could almost hear it.

“We have a choice between Marisol which is supposed to be great Mexican food and is there on the pier or Big Dean’s Café which is on kind of a little off shoot of that road but over by the pier too.  It’s all run together I guess.”

“I thought the one guy pointed that way.”

“Oh, he did,” she agreed.  I guess his favorite hamburger place is down there but the father and daughter suggested something more unique to the area.”

“They’re all related?  How did you find that out so fast?”

“Easy,” she grinned pulling him toward the pier and waving at the family as they passed.  “I heard her call him dad as I approached them.”

“So, do you want Mexican or the café?”

Willow shrugged.  “I think the café sounds loud but I guess it’s really popular.  I like the idea of good Mexican food but I get the idea that the café is more economical.”

“This trip isn’t about economy but…”

“But what?”

Chad’s killer grin flashed.  “Did you get directions to that burger place too?”

***

“You ready?”

Willow nodded nervously and stepped into the car.  Chad helped her fasten herself in securely and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.  “Remember, if you feel sick, don’t look or stare at the seat ahead of us or something.”

“Ok.”  Her voice sounded small, even to her own ears.

The coaster made the slow ascent making Willow wonder why she’d ever thought it’d be frightening.  “This is as slow as the Ferris wheel.”

“Not for long!”

The ride whipped them into a spiral before dashing in a curve that looked like it’d send them straight into the ocean.  Several more dips and climbs followed before they zipped into the boarding area much more quickly than she’d ever imagined and with her stomach in tact.  She climbed from the car feeling weak-kneed but fine.

“Well?”

“It was exhilarating!”

“Want to go again?”  Chad wasn’t about to let an opportunity like that pass.

“Not yet.  I want to make sure it doesn’t have some kind of delayed reaction.  I’d hate to get sick and have it all blow back into my face.  I didn’t think of that.”

“I did.  I haven’t prayed so hard about anything so frivolous in years.”

Her expression was priceless. “And you went anyway?”

“Yep.”

“What,” she began curiously, “Did you pray about last time you prayed so hard for something so frivolous?”

“Lass, there’s no way I’m tellin’.  Let’s play some arcade games.”

“What games?”

“Skeeball.  It’s my favorite.  C’mon!”  Chad pulled her to the arcade place he’d spotted the previous evening.  “You’ll love it.”

For hours they wandered in and out of shops near and on the pier, snacked on an amazing variety of foods, and watched street performers that ranged from pathetic to what they finally labeled, ‘almost not bad.’  For dinner, they ate at the café suggested the previous evening and finally decided that they’d made the right decision the first time.  Neither of them enjoyed the noise and while the food was good, there wasn’t anything new or unique about it.

***

Waves crashed against the shore, cool breezes whipped her sweater collar against her cheek, but Willow sat calmly and marveled at the beauty of the moon across the water.  Footsteps behind her made her smile.  How differently footsteps sounded when heard in the sand instead of on a floor or over grass or dirt.  It sounded closer to snow than she would have ever imagined.

“Willow?”

“I’m fine Chad.  Just listening to the waves.”

His arms wrapped around her waist as he knelt behind her.  His head rested on her shoulder while he whispered, “This isn’t Fairbury lass.  It might not be safe out here.”

“I’m fine, you’re fine, we’re fine.”

“He, she, it’s fine.”  He kissed her cheek laughing.  “See, I can conjugate too.”

Willow’s arm stretched in front of her pointing at something he didn’t think he saw.  “Look at the moonlight.  You know how books talk about it being a bridge across water?  It really does look like that, doesn’t it?”

“What books?”  Chad had never heard anything so fanciful even from Willow.

“The Harvester for one.  Ruth appears to walk across the whole lake in a bridge like that.”

“Never read it.”

Willow struggled to her feet using his shoulders as a balance.  “This winter.  I’ll put it on the coffee table for you.”

Like many men, Chad wasn’t given to constant declarations of his emotions and affections but his personality was one that felt things deeply and occasionally they spilled into his conversations unbidden.  “Lass?”

“Hmm?”  Willow hardly noticed the tone that she’d soon learn meant Chad was in one of his thoughtful moods.

“Do you have any idea how utterly happy I am?”