Chapter 109~

Willow pounded beef while Becca stirred the sauce on the stove.  “Now when those flavors taste right, let me know.”

“What is the purpose of the beef again?”  Becca had never heard of ‘pizza’ like this.

“Well, the first pizza Chad bought me was mostly bread with a little sauce and a lot of cheese.  Almost no meat.  Nothing to stick to your ribs until the next meal so I put a thin slice of beef over the bread before I start the sauce.”

“Have you thought about Italian sausage instead of beef?”

Shaking a bottle of olive oil, Willow shrugged.  “I’ve never had Italian sausage but Chad bought me this olive oil.  He says it’ll taste better on the bread than the butter.”

Chad entered the kitchen with a basket of greens and a few well ripened tomatoes.  “I didn’t remember if you wanted the green onions or not.”

“Yes.  But if you didn’t get them, don’t worry about it.  It’ll be fine without them.”

He held up a bunch triumphantly.  “Score!  I remembered it all then.”

“I can’t believe you guys have ripe tomatoes from a garden!”

“Greenhouse,” Willow corrected.  “Now that I have the greenhouse, I can have ripe tomatoes all year.”

Beef pounded, Willow scrubbed her hands and then began washing the lettuce.  “Is this lettuce from the garden?”

“Well, it looked ready, why?”

“Loopers.  I’ve got to get out there and soap them before we get eggs.  I’ll do that before dinner.”  Willow quit rinsing the greens and immediately left for the barn.

“Loopers.  What are they?”

Chad shrugged and started washing the leaves looking for whatever had bothered Willow.  “Becca, your guess is as good as mine.  Apparently it’s something we don’t want in the garden though.”

Willow arrived with a large spray bottle and filled it as Chad washed.  Then she dropped a large squirt of dish soap in the container and shook it vigorously.  “Don’t let me forget Chad.”

“Why not do it now?”

“Best to do first thing in the morning or late afternoon.  That’s when the obnoxious critters are out.”

Becca and Chad exchanged confused and amused glances.  Willow took the scrubbed greens, tore them expertly and filled a large wooden salad bowl with them.  Deftly, she chopped tomatoes, onions, radishes, and cucumbers.  Before she could ask Chad for the croutons she’d made at breakfast, a car crunched in the driveway.

“I think Josh is here.  Why don’t you go get him?”  Willow waved him out the door and pointed to a bowl on the top of the stove.  “Becca, can I have that bowl please?”

By the time Chad ushered Josh into the kitchen, Willow and Becca were assembling the modified pizzas and ready to pop them into the oven.  Willow noticed beads of perspiration on Chad’s forehead and a growing line of them across Josh’s upper lip and groaned inwardly.  It might be time to either cook in the summer kitchen or put a table into the part of the living room designed as a dining room.

“Chad, why don’t you go get one of those tables and some of the chairs from the barn and put it on the back porch.  We can eat out there where it’s cooler.”

The look of relief in Chad’s eyes told Willow she’d made the right move.  “I’ll do that.   First though, Josh, this is Becca Jacobs.  She’s here visiting a friend on the farm that backs ours.”

Becca rinsed her hands, dried them on her apron, and turned to greet Josh.  Surprise filled her eyes as she absorbed his appearance.  If she didn’t know better-  Embarrassment flooded her features.  “Oh, I’m sorry.”  She extended her hand smiling.  “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.”  Josh looked at their hands, his feet, back over at Willow- anything to avoid meeting Becca’s eyes.  She assumed-

“Hey Josh, mind giving me a hand with the chairs?”

Once the men were outside, Becca turned to Willow, confused. “I didn’t expect your friend to be-”

“He’s a little girly, isn’t he?  Chad said something about him being more like my friend Bill than the Tesdalls.  Bill is kind of a sissy when it comes to the farm and Josh is too.”

That wasn’t what Becca meant but watching her new friend, Becca realized that Willow had no idea the impression Josh gave others.  Thinking of the life Willow had led, Becca wondered if she had any idea men like Josh existed.  “Where did you meet Josh?”

“He was the one who helped me find the fabrics for the wedding.  He has amazing fabric and fashion sense.  I thought it was odd at first but then I remembered mother talking about men like Monsieur Worth and more recently Christian Dior and I realized that men have always been interested in women’s fashions and things.”

Willow had a point.  Maybe Josh was just- Feeling foolish, Becca shook her head.  This wasn’t any of her business.  She’d pray for Josh that no matter what his station in life, Jesus would be the center.  Outside of that, nothing mattered to her when she’d likely never see him again.  A voice from the doorway startled them both.

“Thanks Willow.  Not everyone understands that.”

“Oh, Josh-”  Becca blushed furiously.  “I had no business discussing you like that.  Willow didn’t bring it up-”

“I don’t mind.  People tend to find me a bit of an enigma.  I’m not what they thing-” he paused letting the words sink in and register.  “-and I’m not like a lot of other men so they don’t know how to categorize me.”

“Well,” Willow said testily.  “Perhaps people should quit trying to categorize everyone in the first place.”

“Perhaps,” agreed Josh and Becca in unison.  Josh continued with an embarrassed grin.  “But it’s natural to want to know where you stand in relation to everyone else so you categorize.  It’s just human nature.”

Willow slid the pizzas from the oven and arranged them on a platter.  “Ok, time to eat.”  With apron tossed onto the counter, she grabbed the platter and salad bowl nodding at plates and silverware.  “Can you guys grab those?”

Lunch was an interesting occasion.  Chad and Willow watched the constant sparring and discussion between Josh and Becca with amused interest.  He knew that Willow was missing the attraction steadily growing between their guests and wondered what she’d say when he told her.  This was going to be a crazy day.

“So, we were going to try to card wool today,” Willow began after everyone declared themselves over-full.  “What do you think Josh- too crafty for you?”  An excited look grew in her eyes.  “You and Chad could go out with the paintball guns!”

“I think-” Josh began giving Becca and Chad amused glances that left Willow in a state of utter confusion.  “I think I’d rather see how wool carding works.”

Willow jumped from the table eagerly.  “Let’s get the dishes-”

“I’ll do them Willow, you guys go get your wool stuff and have at it.”  Chad kissed her cheek and pushed her toward the door.  “Go woman!”

“I’m under orders I guess.”

While Chad washed dishes, cleaned the kitchen, and pulled the chicken from the ice box readying it for a slow roast on the grill, Willow, Josh, and Becca congregated in the living room.  She passed out towels, handed everyone a wad of washed fleece and referred to her notes.  “Ok, it says pull the locks from the fleece.  You’re supposed to separate them into individual locks that aren’t interlocked with the rest of the fleece I guess.”

They all worked for a little while until Willow thought she had a large enough pile on the coffee table.  “Ok.  Who wants to keep separating?”

Josh insisted he do it.  “I can’t mess this up.  You guys do whatever you need to do.”

“Ok Becca, now we take these locks and we separate them.  The instructions say to pull them apart sideways.  We’re supposed to discard any really short pieces or if there is any left over dirt or debris.”

“I can’t believe you’re just doing this without any kind of instruction.”  Becca’s voice was heavy with admiration.  “I’d be afraid of ruining an expensive fleece!”

“This is how the Finley women learned everything,” Chad called from the kitchen.  “If they don’t already know it instinctively, they just teach themselves.”

Willow shrugged.  It made sense to her.  She couldn’t understand why anyone would refrain from doing something just because they didn’t know how.  If everyone did that, no one would learn anything.  Seeing them waiting for her reply, she said as much.

“Wow.”

Josh grinned at Becca’s response.  “I’ve come to the conclusion that ‘wow’ must be the most commonly used word around Willow.”

“Got that right!” Chad’s voice boomed from the kitchen.

“You oughtta know!” Josh shouted back winking at Becca.

Something in Josh’s eyes unsettled Becca’s stomach.  Hastily, she turned the conversation, much to Willow’s relief, back to the subject of wool.  “So now we just separate all of these?”

“Yep.  Once we get enough, I’ll play with the card paddles.  I got two sets because I thought Chad would be helping.” Her words grew louder as she teased her absent husband.

“A guy offers to clean the kitchen and all he gets is complaints, complaints, complaints,” came his voice from the kitchen.

Becca and Josh exchanged wistful looks as Willow jumped and dropped the wool she was separating.  She raced to the kitchen where it was obvious, even from the living room, that a serious tickle fest was in full swing.  “Can you believe how amazingly happy they are?”

Josh shook his head.  “By the time I got done helping her that day in the store, I was really wishing he’d dump her at the altar and she’d try to return the fabric.  Man I wanted to ask her out.”

“Really?”  This confirmed his inference during lunch but left her more confused than ever.

“What guy wouldn’t want to get to know someone like Willow?”

She hesitated and then risked it.  “A guy who was concerned she’d take his interest the wrong way.”

“Well, that guy wasn’t me.  I was interested all right but once I met Chad- I knew.  He’s perfect for her.  Drat it all.”

Josh watched as she carefully separated lock after lock, ignoring the banging of the screen door and the squeals that were now racing around the house outside.  “So they said you’re visiting a friend here.  Where are you from?”

“Rockland.”

“Really?  Wow.  What part?”

“Old residential on the south side.  Near Madison Park.”

Josh’s eyes lit up.  “Really?  I’m not too far from there.  I moved back in with my parents after-”  He hesitated.  Would he wipe that spark of interest from Becca’s eyes if he were honest?  Then again, at some point she’d have to know.  “After I escaped a lifestyle that I shouldn’t have ever let myself be introduced to.”

“I wondered,” she admitted quietly.

“I know.  You were more tactful than most.  I appreciate it.”

Becca struggled with unasked questions until Josh assured her he didn’t mind if she asked them.  “I really only have one but it’s just none of my business.”

“Assume it is and just ask.”

“How did you get out?  I mean, if you didn’t want in in the first place-”

“I felt trapped, and then once in, I felt even more trapped than ever.  Then I met Barney- he’s the pastor-”

“Barney!  He’s my pastor!  You go to the mission?”  Becca’s surprise was mirrored in Josh’s face.

“I don’t believe this.  I’ve never seen you there!”

Chad and Willow stood outside the screen door hesitant to stand there and listen but even more hesitant to interrupt the conversation within.  Finally, Chad led her away from the door, down the steps, and around the barn to the tree swing.  “Let them talk.  I think something is there.”

“Something?”

“He’s interested and she’s not immune to it.”

Willow’s eyes widened in horror.  “But Adric-”

“She has no obligation Willow.  Would you want her to choose Adric over someone she prefers just because she signed up to get to know him?”

Sighing, Willow shook her head and jumped on the swing.  “No.  I just don’t want to see anyone get hurt.”

“Someone is going to get hurt.  Before all of this girl-of-the-month stuff is over, someone will get hurt.  There’s no way to avoid it.”

“Then why do it Chad?  Why put people through that?”

“Everyone is willing to risk it on the chance that they meet the right person.”  He hesitated.  Willow came from such a different worldview than he did.  Would she understand?  “Lass, I would have probably tried something like that eventually- if the opportunity arose.  I’m not an outgoing person.  I’d had so much trouble with girls already that having someone pre-screen, having recommendations from their pastors-” he shrugged.  I think at Adric’s age especially, I’d have done it in a heartbeat.”

“So are Josh and Becca just interested because they have things in common- church and stuff, or is there something else there that I’m missing.”

Chad smiled as he pushed her higher.  “Get ready for a very confused young woman.  There’s more to it than that.  She’s so concerned with making everyone happy- this is going to tear her up.”

***

By three o’clock, Becca and Willow carded swiftly and comfortably.  Chad and Josh spent their time pulling locks, separating them, and joking about everything from Willow’s naïveté to the natural way Becca took to Willow’s lifestyle.  Willow and Becca occasionally sent balls of wool in their direction as if wool fluff could possibly stop the barrage of jokes and teasing.

The wool flying through the air reminded Willow of North and South.  “‘I have seen hell and it is white.  It is snow white.’”

“What?”  Becca looked at Chad like Willow had lost her mind.

“It’s from a movie my mom got her.”  An impish glint filled Chad’s eyes.  “She loves that movie- she really loves the ending best though.”

“Civil war?”

“Oh no!” Willow protested.  “Northern vs. Southern England- not the War Between the States.”

“Did England have a Civil War too?”  Becca’s eyes grew wide.

“Cromwell in the mid-sixteen hundreds.  But technically the United States-”

Chad interrupted.  Debate over historical semantics was not likely to be a popular topic of discussion.  “It’s about the difference between agricultural southern England with its gentility and proximity to London verses the northern industrial cities like Manchester.”

“Sounds an awfully lot like the United States.”  Josh’s surprise was echoed by Becca’s nod.

“Well, there are similarities of course, but the British class system was much more ingrained so there were deeper clashes than you found over here,” Willow explained.  “The movie is amazing.  You see the strengths and weaknesses of all lifestyles.  You can imagine it but seeing it on the screen- it’s just overwhelming.”

As Willow was speaking, Chad stood, retrieved his laptop and the movie, and flipped on the power switch.  Within minutes, all four were lost in a world of cotton, mills, gentility, and abject poverty.  Willow carded and rolled nearly automatically now.  Her eyes rarely leaving the screen as she worked the paddles back and forth, rolled the batt, and carded again.

Chad, on the other hand, observed everyone else as they watched the scenes scroll by on the computer screen.  Willow was immediately lost in the nineteenth century world of cotton and industrialism.  The incongruity of her hand carding wool while watching a movie on a laptop in the middle of her normally electric-free house struck him.  However, more so than that, the constant attraction between Josh and Becca kept him entertained until the clock struck four-thirty.

“Oh, I have to go.  Gram is probably working on dinner already and-”

Josh’s face fell.  “I didn’t realize- Well, I can see you in Rockland at church I guess.”

“Sure.  I’ll be back this Sunday.  We leave Saturday.”

Willow picked up on the awkward strain and to Chad’s surprise and amusement, delved into her first attempt at matchmaking.  “You’ll come back tomorrow though, won’t you Becca?  We were going to try out the spinning wheel-”

“Of course!”  Becca was already cleaning up the area around her trying to reduce the mess she’d created as she worked.

“I’ll get that for you Becca,” Josh insisted.  “Let me walk you to your car.”

Willow smiled knowingly as Josh led Becca out to her car talking quietly as they walked.  “You’re right.  They’re so cute too.”

“You are incorrigible.”

“How?”

Chad nudged her knee smiling knowingly.  “That was a ‘Josh, don’t you want to come back tomorrow’ hint if I’ve ever heard one.”

“Well, he should know she’s going to be here so when I invite him back, he knows-”

Chad’s laughter echoed through the window and out to Becca’s car.  “It was nice meeting you Josh.  I’m looking forward to seeing you at church.”

He hesitated.  Two years at Rockland Street Mission and he still wasn’t sure he was ready to jump into anything but the idea of letting Becca out of the driveway without some kind of indication of his interest seemed foolish.  “You know, I was wondering if maybe after church on Sunday…”

Becca’s eyes lit up encouraging him.  “Yes?”

“Maybe we could go eat somewhere and talk?”

Chad and Willow sank back onto the couch as they saw Becca nod and Josh slam the door shut for her.  “They’re going to hit it off beautifully,” Chad murmured.

“Silly, they already did.”

“Did what?”  Josh’s voice sounded excited.

“You two seemed to hit it off…” Chad commented.

“She’s amazing.  I can’t believe we’ve gone to the same church all this time-”

Willow’s quiet voice interrupted gently.  “From the way you’ve spoken about your life, I don’t think you were ready to meet anyone special before now.”

“You’re right.  I wasn’t.  I’m not sure I am now but I can’t stand the idea of not getting to know her better.”

With a sidelong glance at Chad, Willow picked up her carding paddles.  “So do you have to work tomorrow?”

“No, I’m off again, why- Oh.”

“Well, if you find yourself looking for something to do, we’re going to try our hand at spinning tomorrow and there’s lots of wool left to pull and separate…”

A huge grin split Josh’s face and the excitement in his voice made his lisp all the more pronounced.  “Oh that’s so nice of you.  Are you serious?”

“She’s been showing up around ten.”

“I’ll be here.  Thanks.”

***

Moonlight flashed across their bed as clouds covered and then drifted away from the moon.  Willow lay awake and unmoving knowing that she often woke Chad when she slipped downstairs for her trysts with the Lord.  As carefully as she could, she turned on her side and tried resting quietly that way but still felt restless.  Chad’s voice came sleepily in her ear.

“Go downstairs if you like.  I’ll see you in the morning.”

She turned to find his face centimeters away from hers.  “I’m sorry.  I tried not to wake you up.”

“You didn’t.  Nature calls.  But I could tell you weren’t sleeping and I guessed why.  Now go downstairs and commune with nature or whatever it is you do.”

“The Lord, goof,” she commented as she slipped out from under the sheets.

Chad watched her jog down the stairs and listened as the screen door opened and then the soft ‘bam’ as it shut behind her.  “Lord, she’s such a multi-faceted person.  Every time I think I understand her, there’s something else to discover.  I’m starting to think that she’s going to look at me in a few years and think, ‘I married him.  Why?’  Don’t let that happen- please.”

With a sigh, he slipped from the covers and padded toward the bathroom.  “Oh, and remind me to avoid coffee before bed?  I really am tired of these late night trips.”

Chapter 108~

Becca Jacobs tentatively exited her car and glanced around her.  It hadn’t seemed to intimidating when the farm was crawling with other guests but now here alone, she felt awkward and uncertain.  Was she truly welcome?  She must be but then…

“Becca!  Back here.  I’m just hanging the last of the laundry.”  Willow’s voice called to her from behind the house.

“Hey.  I hoped you still meant it-”

“Of course!  I’m glad to have you here.  Have you ever made candles?”

The look in Becca’s face was priceless.  “Make candles?”

“Well, you will now.  I gave away most of my candles during the power outage this winter.  I’ll need more before long.”

“Do you mind…”  Becca hesitated.  It was none of her business.

“What?”

“Well,” with a sigh, Becca plunged forward.  “I just wondered why you don’t use electricity instead?  It’s a lot less work but-” she winked.  “I admit probably not as much fun.”

“You’re one of the first people who has even hinted that there might be an advantage to making candles.”  She grabbed the candle wicking and tied it to her dipping sticks as she spoke.  “We like having the simplicity that comes without having easy access to electricity.  I mean, it’s easy access- I just have to flip the breaker, but we aren’t tempted to stay up too late, watch too many movies, or even sew more than we can use because they aren’t available.  Why buy a TV if you don’t want to watch it very often?  Why make it easy to sew more than you need by having a machine that works faster?”

“Why not?”

“Well,” Willow agreed, “You have a point.  There’s nothing wrong with doing any of that.  We just never wanted to so we took away the temptation.  Well, Mother did.  She did it at first because she knew she needed to make it hard to do what she was used to doing in order to retrain her palate.  Then it was just our life.”

“It sounds beautiful.  Like Laura Ingalls without the hardships.”

Willow handed Becca dipping sticks.  “Just dip slowly and raise.  Dip in the water to cool, raise.  Repeat.”  She demonstrated as she explained.  “You’re right.  We are like Laura Ingalls but without the hardships.  I had a wonderful childhood.  Honestly, I like to tease Chad he married me for my childhood.”

“He’s so in love with you.”

Uncertain eyes glanced at Becca.  “What?”

“Chad.  I could see how much he loves you at the wedding.  It was a hard day for him, wasn’t it?”

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know.  I’m crazy I guess but it seemed like he was nervous about something.”  As she vocalized her thoughts, Becca blushed.  “Oh duh.  How stupid of me.”

Willow understood much more than Becca thought she’d observed.  Chad.  He’d expected a much different end to his wedding.  She didn’t now how often she’d thanked the Lord for the strength to trust but she thanked Him again.  How wrong she’d been.  How wrong Mother had been!

“How did you meet Chad?”

With a rueful smile, Willow answered as simply as she could.  “He was the officer on duty when I reported Mother’s death.”

“Oh I am so sorry-”

“No, it’s ok.  It’s a natural question!  Who meets their husband over a police counter?”

Becca held up her candles.  “How are these?”

“Excellent!  I think you have a knack for it.”

“So tell me more about you and Chad,” Becca persisted.

“Like what?”

With a mental list of dozens of questions, Becca launched into the first ones that came to mind.  “When did you fall in love with him?  What is his best quality?  Are you planning to have many children?  What was your favorite date?”

“Well, you don’t ask much, do you?”

“I just got started!”  Becca’s laugh was a little nervous as though she wasn’t sure if she’d overstepped the bounds of courtesy.

“Well, which first?”

“When did you knew you were in love with him?”

Willow smiled apologetically.  “I’m afraid my answer is going to be less than satisfactory.  You see, I’m not in love with him.  I love him of course,” she hastened to add.  “But from what I read and what several people have told me, I’m not ‘in love’ yet.”

“How could you marry-”

“He’s my best friend.  How could I not?”

This was logic that Becca couldn’t argue.  “I suppose.  It would make things easier.  With what we’re doing-”  Becca paused.  Maybe taking about her situation wasn’t appropriate.  After all, what she thought of how her month was going was not just about her.

Compassion flooded Willow’s face.  “I think you’re very brave.  To move into a man’s home, trust him with your safety and your heart- that takes courage that I don’t have.”

“I-” surprise stopped her.  Courage.  It wasn’t a word Becca would have chosen but described as Willow did, it had taken courage.  “I guess I can see that.  But then, Adric turned out to be such a wonderful man.”

“From what I could tell, he seems like exactly the kind of man I would have looked for had I gone looking.”

Willow’s words swirled in Becca’s mind as she tried to process them.  Adric seemed nothing like Chad and yet Willow was right.  Adric was exactly the kind of man she’d prayed for since her unfortunate ‘marriage’ failed.  The thought confused her.  “Isn’t it odd that you made a friend and married him without worrying about love and I’m spending a month with a man I don’t know trying to find love without a friendship?”

“I think it’s two roads to the same destination.  I imagine both have smooth spots and both have ruts like my driveway gets sometimes but it works.”  Willow smiled.  “Tell me, what are the chances you would marry Adric if everything continued going as it is going today?”

“Honestly, after talking to you today, if he asked me to marry him tonight, I’d probably say yes.  He’s growing fond of me- I can tell.  I know he’d be good to me and he is the kind of man I could be happy trying to help.  Yesterday I would have said, ‘I hope I fall in love with him or someone like him but you’ve really changed how I think.”

“I didn’t mean to.”  A panicked tone grew in Willow’s voice.

“Well, I’m glad you did.  I might have given up on a great guy because I assumed I needed something that I don’t.  Look how happy you are!  Look how in love Chad is-  If it can work for you, why not me?”

***

“I didn’t know what to say,” Willow said sleepily.  A year before, Willow would never have imagined talking to Chad about their love life at two in the morning as he crawled in from work.  “I told her it wasn’t like that but she just applied it to me.”

Chad led his wife out of the kitchen and up the stairs.  “Ahh, lass, but your friend is right,” he assured her as he pulled the light summer blankets over her as she crawled into bed.

By the time he returned from his shower and attention to teeth, Willow was fast asleep.  He leaned against the dresser and watched her as the moonlight shone across her face.  The light reflected the peace in her expression and yet there was the slightest wrinkle in her brow as though there were questions unanswered in her mind that troubled her.

“You have no idea, lass.  You have no idea.”

***

At ten o’clock Chad crawled from the covers disoriented.  The room was darker than he thought it should be until he realized that she’d made new shades that blocked out the light entirely.  Chad spent a few minutes trying to discover how to raise them until the obvious answer made him chuckle.  “Only Willow would make shades that you  hand roll up and hook onto the top of the window,” he muttered to himself.

In the bathroom, he was tempted to ignore the dark stubble that turned his jaw line into sandpaper but remembering Willow’s involuntary grimace one morning the previous week, he grabbed his cordless razor and carried it into their bedroom.  Within minutes, he was removing his recent growth as he retrieved jeans and a t-shirt.  Who knew what she’d have them doing that day?

Becca’s laughter greeted him as he entered the kitchen.  “I can’t believe it worked!”  Becca blushed.  “Hey Chad.  She let me stir and look!”

Chad obediently looked in the large enamel pot and nodded as if he understood what he saw.  “Excellent.  You having fun?”

“This is the most fun I’ve ever had in my life.  I can’t believe how at home I feel doing all this stuff that I didn’t know anyone did anymore.”

Willow handed Chad a cup of coffee and a muffin.  “She’s good.  I could leave her the recipe and go work out in the garden and come back to a perfect set.”

“Then, can I steal you for a minute or two?”

Becca waved them off as she stirred, read directions, and waited for the exact moment that the mixture turned to the “consistency of honey” before pouring into the waiting molds.  She glanced out the window and watched the couple as they talked.  Willow leaned against the back porch smiling up at her husband while Chad rested one arm against the post and played with her braid with his other hand.

Their kiss turned Becca’s head back to the task at hand.  It wasn’t any of her business.  With a sigh, she prayed, “Lord, I want that.  Is it so wrong to want that?”

Outside, despite the terribly romantic looking scene from the kitchen, Chad and Willow were engrossed in a much less interesting conversation.  “So the trial is going to start soon?”

“Next month.  She has the best lawyers but the evidence is undeniable.  She is not allowing her lawyers to call you to the stand according to the District Attorney.”

Willow’s eyes widened.  “Wow.  I didn’t know that was an option.”

“He told me he might call you in for a deposition but he doesn’t think he’ll need you in court.”

Shaking her head, Willow protested.  “I don’t want to do that.”

“Well, you won’t have a choice if they subpoena you.”

“What do you mean, won’t have a choice?  I don’t want to go to court.  I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well,” Chad hadn’t realized that Willow didn’t understand this part of the law. “They can compel you to come and testify.”

“How?  Will they torture me?  What kind of country is this?  I thought we had protection from this kind of tyranny!”  Tears of frustration filled her eyes and threatened to overflow.  She brushed them away impatiently.  “I don’t want to have anything to do with it.”

“They’ll find you in contempt of court.  You’d be fined and probably jailed.  The D.A. said he didn’t think he’d need you in court.  He just wants a deposition.”

A stubborn look filled her face.  “Then I’ll pay the fine and sit in jail until they realize that they can’t make me testify.”

“They can keep you there until you do.  Which means,” he added with the slightest hint of an edge to his voice,” that I’ll be left without a wife, doing all the work around here, your crops will die, the animals will suffer, and we won’t be prepared for next winter- if you’re even out of jail by then.  You’ll have a criminal record which in this area would probably kill any chances of my becoming an elected sheriff.”

“It’s just not right!”  Willow’s eyes flashed as she realized the helplessness of the situation.  “I don’t want to get involved.”

Chad slipped his hand in hers and led her slowly back to the barn.  “You may not be.  We don’t know.”  He paused by the kitchen door and wiped away a stray tear with his thumb.  “On a brighter note, your grandparents want us to come to dinner on Sunday.  Joe switched with me so we could go.”

“But you’ll miss church then!”  Willow’s eyes looked confused.  “I don’t understand you.  One day church isn’t an option and the next it is.”

“Family is important too, Willow.  Your uncle and his wife and daughter will be there.  I don’t know about the boys.  I said I’d call this afternoon if we can make it.”

“Well, we can make it but-”

“Good.  I’ll call them right now.  Are you guys going to work on that wool after the soap?”

Willow shook her head.  “I thought about it but then I remembered Jill saying something about soap sleeves so I think we’ll drag out the paper and paints and things and make covers for the soap.  We can work on wool tomorrow.”

“But Josh is coming- remember?”

“Well, he can watch while we talk.  You guys can go fishing or something if he’s not interested.”

Chad’s laughter startled Becca as she poured soap into molds.  “Willow, I don’t think Josh is the fishing kind of guy.  I think he’d find it pretty disgusting.”

“Who wouldn’t like fishing?”  The concept was foreign to her.

“Guys like Josh are um- well they’re more interested in artsy things.  Some don’t like the outdoors much-”

“Oh, so Josh is like Bill.  I see-”

“Um…”  Chad hesitated.  Should he even bother explaining?  “Let’s just say that Bill wouldn’t find that a very flattering comment.  I’ll show him your books and craft room and maybe take him on a tour of the town if he’s not interested in wool.  I can see him being very interested in spinning so who knows.”

“Chad?”

“Hmm?”

Willow reached up, pulled his face closer to hers and met his eyes.  “Sometimes you make no sense.”

He kissed her nose and opened the kitchen door.  “Why don’t I go bring down that paper stuff for you while you guys finish the soaps?”

***

“So what does Chad do all day?  I mean when he’s not working?”  Becca suddenly felt stupid.  He worked all day or night- what else did the guy need to do.

“Well, when he’s home, he takes care of the animals most of the time.  Anything I need harvested he’s good at and he did the new field plowing for me.  He’s probably going to be the woodworker around here too.”

“So will you do more of your own animal breeding and butchering now that he’s around?”

This wasn’t something Willow had ever considered.  The problem with having a predictable routine was the inevitable tendency toward a rut.  “I don’t know.  I’ll have to talk to him.  Perhaps he’d rather do that.”

“I was thinking this’d be a cool place for school field trips.  You know, the kids come and see you make soap and candles, milk a goat, spin some wool, bake bread in a woodstove, can food- it’d be like one of those living museums almost.”

“Do-” she hesitated.  The idea was appealing but somewhat absurd as well.  “Do you really think anyone would be interested in seeing something like this?”

“If you had regular tours, I’d find the ones most appropriate for my older daycare kids and I’d bring them out one summer day.  You could have hayrides and picnics…”  The dreamy tones to Becca’s voice told Willow that her guest was romanticizing her life.

“How would I show the work involved though?  Making soap is fun- candles too.  But this is all work.  Sun up until sundown from around February, thanks to the greenhouse, through October at the least.  It’s hard work.  How do you take away the romantic idea that it’s just playing Laura Ingalls three hundred sixty-five days a year?”

Concentrating on Willow’s words, Becca shrugged.  “I’m not sure.  I mean, it’d be a lot of work giving those kinds of tours and if you don’t have time to spare, it probably wouldn’t work.”

“I’ll talk to Chad.  He’s always saying that children should all have my childhood.  I disagree.  I think that if everyone had the same kind of childhood, the world would be a very uninteresting place.  But, maybe he has a point about everyone experiencing a taste of it just as I’d like my children to taste the occasional day in the city going to museums or the zoo.”

Becca held up another finished soap sleeve and smiled.  “I like them.  Why is it called Walden Farm instead of Finley or Tesdall?”

The memory of Chad’s assertion that their farm was Kari’s personal ‘Walden’ filled Willow’s heart.  “Chad named it for Mother.  She loved Thoreau’s ‘live life deliberately’ and sucking the marrow out of life’ and that’s what this farm was about.  Her enjoying every moment of every day to its fullest.  So, he thought we should name it.  I think Bill is working on changing our holdings over to some kind of corporation with that name.  I don’t understand it all but, that’s what he said.”

The living room clock struck four-thirty.  Becca’s eyes widened in surprise and she quickly began clearing her paper mess.  “I have to go.  Gram is going to be wondering where I am and what I’m doing.  Adric gets home in a little while.”

“How is it going?  Are you hoping to keep seeing him next month too?”

“I think I will.  He’s being very- oh, I don’t know the word.  Attentive perhaps.  He’s good to me, he’s a little affectionate and from the way Lily was talking, he hasn’t done that yet.  Sometimes I think I see something in his eyes that tells me he’s even more attached than he says, but I don’t know.  I’m just so happy that it looks like there’s a chance, you know?”

“Well,” Willow teased, “Don’t keep the man waiting too long.  There’s another gal from next month just waiting to step into your shoes.”

“Don’t I know it,” Becca agreed ruefully.  “It makes me sick to think about it but if I’m who the Lord wants for him, I guess I need to have a little more faith.”

Chapter 107~

Shearing was an amazing experience that Willow couldn’t wait to repeat.  Already, they’d arranged for more lambs to be delivered in July, had after seeing how quickly the sheep were shorn, Willow decided to attend one of the shearing schools offered at the New Cheltenham Ranch the next year.  Chad, completely uninterested in sheep, decided that Kari had the right idea all along.

Of course, Willow had books lying all over the table telling her how to clean, card, and spin the wool from the two fleeces that now sat proudly on a bench in the barn.  Though Chad was lost to the appeal of sheep, wool, or spinning, he faithfully drove to New Cheltenham, Rockland, back to New Cheltenham, and then home again where he spent his final hours of honeymooning staining, varnishing, and assembling Willow’s new spinning wheel.

Saturday morning, Chad sat at the table amazed as he remembered the week he’d had with his wife.  Wife.  Had it really been just a year ago that he’d prayed that the Lord would take Willow out of his life?  Had he really resented her as much as he remembered?  Seeing her as she pulled muffins from the oven, scooped eggs and ‘breakfast steak’ onto his plate, humming contentedly, he couldn’t remember why he’d rejected her for so long.

It had been an amazing week.  He waited, day by day, for some kind of awkwardness to upset the balance of their relationship but it didn’t happen.  Even amid the newness of everything, there was a comfortable camaraderie that felt as though they’d been together forever and to his own ears, that sounded as crazy as he knew it was.

“What are you going to do today?”

She shrugged.  “I’ve been neglecting the chickens.  I think it’s time to do some more butchering.  I’ve got those new chicks coming in so…”

“Great day to go back to work.”

She stood on the porch and waved him off to work- another first in their life.  As the truck brake lights disappeared, Willow gave a last wave and hurried to clean the kitchen before her afternoon of chicken slaughter.  She wanted it all done and every trace gone before Chad was off work.

Portia was a complete nuisance until Willow gave up and tied the yapping bundle of fur to the front porch.  The chickens were not much more cooperative but thanks to not trying to keep them in the land of the living, this wasn’t nearly as frustrating.  In nearly record time, she had the birds skinned and ready to process in the kitchen.  Once she plucked and gutted the last two birds, she’d be done and could go bury the remains.

As she trudged toward the tree line, Willow pondered the changes in her home.  So much had changed and yet so little.  On the surface, she knew of course that everything had transformed into a new life but reasonably speaking, that transformation had begun very slowly just a year ago.  The wedding and such had just changed what that all meant.

By the time she returned home, Willow had decided to slow roast the chicken over the grill.  Chad hadn’t come home for lunch and she hadn’t expected him to.  He’d be hungry by the time he got home and roasted chicken…

The clock showed five-thirty by the time she got all of the animals fed, milked Ditto, and put away the rest of the tools.  She grabbed her favorite skirt and top, a towel, and raced for the shower.  After the day’s work, she looked forward to relaxing in the porch swing until Chad got home.

Once the bird was basted one last time, Willow and the puppy walked around to the front of the house.  She grabbed the current journal she was reading, the bone she’d given to the puppy, and settled into the porch swing kicking the bone across the porch.  While she found her place in the journal, the puppy bounced after the bone, grabbed it, growled, rolled and made a puppy nuisance of himself over it.  Willow read.

June 2001,

I realize that I need to stop treating Willow as my child.  I mean, she is my child but she’s an adult now.  The law can say what it wants but she’s been an adult for many years already.  I think I need to ease her into a different way of interrelating.  I’m not sure how to do it.

I have tried to remember what mom and dad did.  I don’t know.  It seemed as if one day I was just there and had been for ages.  One thing that I am certain of- she needs to have a solid idea of what work comes when so she can plan her own time and not rely so heavily on me.  I just have no idea how to do this.

She could do it.  If I dropped dead right now, she’d be fine and that’s always been my focus.  I need to focus on how to live as two adults together rather than as just mother and daughter.  I don’t know, maybe I’m overcomplicating things.  There has just always been this implied authority in our relationship and well, I’m not sure it’s appropriate anymore.  At her age, I would have resented it I’m sure.

I need to condense our work journals.  I need to encourage her to choose what she wants to do rather than delegate.  I can make this happen.  I must make this happen if I hope to keep her happy here.

Chad’s truck bounced across the driveway and into the yard.  Portia raced for it sending Willow and Chad both into cardiac arrest.  This wasn’t something that Saige had ever done and none of the other puppies they’d had were familiar with vehicles.  It just hadn’t been an option.

“Next time I drive in, hold her back until I turn off the truck.  Maybe if we don’t let her go until the truck turns off, she’ll learn to wait for it.”  Chad grabbed an arm full of uniforms from the passenger’s side and slammed the door behind him.

“What if it’s two in the morning and you don’t see her?”

“Better lock her in the barn at night until she’s bigger.”

Willow made a face.  “So much for a guard dog.”

By now, Chad was at the first porch step.  “Hey.  I missed you.”

She grinned.  “And you were glad to miss me and all the chicken guts-”

“Ew.  What’s for dinner?” he interrupted grabbing her hand and pulling her into the house.  “I’ve got to get these upstairs and change.”

“The chicken is probably done…”  She waited expectantly.

“Ew!  Really?  How can you stand to eat one of those things after wallowing in their innards all day?”

“Probably how you can stand to drive somewhere after work when you’ve been driving all day.”  Willow’s face was a study in smugness.

Chad gave her hair a tug as he raced up the stairs.  Willow waited a moment, heard the drawers opening, the linen closet bang, and then the bathroom door shut.  Impatiently, she drummed the newel at the base of the stairs.  The bath water turned on and she took a step.  She waited.  Another step.  She hurried into the kitchen and listened contentedly to the familiar sound of bathwater running as she assembled a salad, heated a jar of green beans, and set the table.

“The Lord gives, takes away, and then gives again.  Blessed be the name of the Lord,” she whispered.

***

As Chad bathed, he debated.  There were two things he knew that they needed to discuss but on his first night back after work?  Tomorrow was Sunday though- the debate raged inwardly.  Grabbing his shoes and socks, Chad headed downstairs praying for guidance and to know when or if to mention anything yet.  Perhaps a call to Luke or Pop before he broached any difficult subjects was in order.

“That smells wonderful.  I am starving.”

“I thought you would be.  A frozen burrito from the convenience store?”

“How’d you guess?”  Chad accepted his plate and held her chair.

“Oh, you’re a creature of habit.  Thanks.”

Chad had quickly adopted the Finley habit of thanking the Lord for their food after the end of the meal.  Once or twice over the past six months he’d even led her to the couch before offering thanks and they’d spent a long evening in prayer and immersed in the Word.  His parents had found the practice uncomfortable at first but even Christopher finally agreed that it was easier to concentrate on being genuinely thankful when your food isn’t cooling before your nostrils.

“Well, what’s on tomorrow’s agenda?”  Chad tested the waters.

“Don’t you have until two?”

“Yep.”

Willow grinned.  “Well, then surely we’d have time to go to church and get you home in time to get fed.”

Chad nodded.  It was enough.  He’d worry about money issues later.  “Sounds like a plan.”

“Chad, what’s wrong?”  She didn’t like making assumptions but something in Chad’s eyes wasn’t normal.

“I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“Care to share?”

Chad hesitated.  Maybe it was the right time.  “I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about coming to church when I had to go to work right afterward.”

“But you always go to church if you’re off work.  Why wouldn’t we?”

“Well,” he prayed for the right words and then felt silly.  This was one of those times where he knew he’d look ridiculous for making mountains out of molehills.  “I just know that you don’t always go and I was borrowing trouble.  I thought you might resent me for wanting to go.”

“Why?  I like to go to church too and even if I didn’t, two hours isn’t going to ruin my life.”  Her face was a comical study in confusion.

“Like I said, I was borrowing trouble.  I’ve never asked why you don’t always go so I just made assumptions with nothing as a foundation.”

“Well, you could ask and then you wouldn’t need assumptions.”  Willow thought Chad was making no sense at all.  What did her not going to church every week have to do with the fact that he did?

“Ok, why don’t you go sometimes?”

“Lots of reasons.”  Willow held up a hand and ticked off fingers for each one.  “I forget.  I don’t feel like walking.  I have something to keep an eye on here.  I need a few hours alone with the Lord and it’s a convenient time for it.  I know you’re not going to be around to bring me home and I don’t feel like turning down half the church as I try to get away…”

“Ok, ok.”  It was now or never.  “I wonder, how often have you read Hebrews?”

“Several times a year for most of my life.”

With a deep breath, he plunged forward.  “So what do you make of the verse that says not to forsake the assembling of yourselves together?”

“Well, obviously that Chris-” she paused.  “Wait a minute.  Are you saying that you think I am wrong not to go to church every week?”

Chad stammered.  The word every pounded in his brain.  Had she left out every, he could have easily answered yes.  Now if he qualified it, he’d look like he was waffling.  “I’m wondering what value you place on assembling with God’s people.”

“Well, if I show up on  semi-regular basis, how on earth can that be evidence of forsaking?”

“It isn’t.  I was just asking-”  He knew he was being a coward.  Chad took a deep breath.  “What about Acts?”

“What about it?”  Willow’s curiosity kept her from feeling attacked much to Chad’s relief.

“Well, the Christians met from house to house daily.  They had the Lord’s supper weekly.  It might not be commanded, but doesn’t it look implied?”

Willow shook her head as though to clear it.  “I don’t understand what you’re saying, Chad.  I think you want something from me but every time I try to ask, you divert the question.”

“I just think that scripturally speaking, there is strong evidence for making gathering with other Christians on a regular basis a priority in our lives.”

“So, you think that whenever you’re off of work we should be there?  I’m good with that.”

“I’d like,” he added trepidatiously, “to know that whatever part of our family can be there, will be there, every week.”

“You want me to commit to going every week?”

He nodded.  “For the most part, yes.  I think it’s important.”

“Ok.  I don’t make promises when it’s raining or freezing out though.”

“You could learn to drive-”

“No thanks.”  If there was one thing that Willow held no interest in, it was driving.  It made no sense to Chad but he accepted it- usually.

Several minutes passed with little more than the clinking of silverware on plates to fill the quiet of the kitchen.  “Chad?”

“Mmm hmm?”

“Why didn’t you just tell me you wanted me to go?  Why all the questions and hemming.  I don’t get it?”

“Well, I didn’t want to ruin my first night home after going back to work but tomorrow is Sunday-”

“But, still, I don’t understand.  Why the hoops?  Why not just ask or tell me?”

He took a deep breath.  Kicking himself for not realizing she’d notice is discomfort, Chad shrugged.  “Willow, sometimes when people suggest that you do something different than you’ve always done or worse, imply that you could be wrong- well, you don’t take it very well.  I didn’t want an argument.”

“Ouch.”

Chad grabbed his plate and went to refill it with more chicken.  “This is really good.  More tender than the last ones.”

“It’s younger.  I waited too long to kill the other ones.”  She smiled up at him as he sat down again.  “Chad, I’d rather have an argument than know you want to say something but don’t think I’ll like it.”

“And I’d rather avoid arguments all together.  You don’t mind the conflict as long as it’s resolved.  I hate it.  I hate conflict.”  He sighed.  “Willow, I just don’t like to bring up subjects that’ll make things awkward between us.  I like it when everything is right and I hate it when we’re out of sorts.”

“Am I really that bad?”  She smiled at him again but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Willow, the last time we had a discussion about something we didn’t like, you were ready to call off the wedding.”

“I guess I am,” she admitted.  “I wasn’t trying to be difficult that time.  I was trying to-”

“That was a low blow.  Sorry.  That one was completely my fault and I had no business using it as an example.  How about ‘no kids if I  have to educate them like this’?”

“I guess you’re right.  Mother and I must have agreed on more than we thought.  We never-”  Her eyes grew wide.  “Oh Chad.  I did that to Mother too!  When I didn’t get what I wanted, I stabbed her in the heart.”  Tears filled her eyes and she jumped from her chair.  Chad started to follow but she waved him back.  “I need a few minutes.”

He watched confused as she left the house and strolled across the fields toward the stream.  “Lord, what just happened?”

***

Late that night, after they’d been sleeping for hours, Willow crept from the covers and padded downstairs.  Chad heard the creak of the screen door and sighed.  He tossed the blankets from him and followed.  Everything had seemed fine, why was she now so unsettled?

“Willow?”

She turned and smiled.  “Hmm?”

Chad pushed the door open letting it bang gently behind him.  “You ok?”  He sank to the step beside her and pulled her to him.  “I’m worried about you.”

“I was just thinking.”

“Have you always come out here in the middle of the night?”  Chad didn’t remember her wandering last year.

“Usually.  Mother said she found me in the porch swing as often as she didn’t when I was little.”

“Didn’t she worry about you wandering off somewhere?”

Willow shrugged.  “Not that I can remember.”

“What do you think about when you come out here in the middle of the night?”

“It’s when I feel closest to God.  It’s when that ’still small voice’ seems to pierce my thick skull.  I love praying in the dark and the stillness.”

“Want me to go?”  Chad’s voice was little more than a whisper in her ear.

“Never.”

Chapter 106~

Early Wednesday morning, before the sun forced its way over the eastern horizon, Chad rolled over and his arm curled cozily around- nothing.  Subconsciously, he knew something was wrong but it took him several minutes to fight his way out of sleep back to the land of consciousness.  Willow was gone and her side of the bed, cold.

He shivered at the cool air that hit his arms and legs as he crawled from the covers and wrapped the robe from their personal shower around him.  Chad remembered her hanging it on the wall next to his side of the bed assuring him he’d need it.  He’d thought she was crazy but here he was, wrapping it around him and shivering.  The open window sent damp breezes into their house.

Their house.  Already he’d begun to feel possessive of her property.  Was that good?  As he jogged down the steps to the living room, Chad pondered it but came to no conclusion.

She wasn’t in the living room, kitchen, or library.  He glanced out the back door but saw no lights in the barn.  The front porch looked dark as well, so he wearily climbed the stairs again checking the craft and newly decorated ’sitting room’ but Willow seemed to have vanished.

“Willow?”  Why he called quietly, Chad couldn’t explain- even to himself.  In their room, he stared hard out the window trying to discern if the lump by the oak where her- their mother was buried was the gravestones or if Willow had gone out there again.  He couldn’t tell.

With a sigh, he pulled on his shoes, sans socks, and dragged himself back down the stairs.  In this mist, she’d get sick if she fell asleep out there.  He then laughed at the thought.  If anyone wouldn’t get sick, it was Willow.  She never got sick.  She’d once told him she only remembered being ill a few times in her life.

As he stepped out the front door, he stopped.  There, sleeping comfortably in the swing with her mother’s journal on her chest, lay Willow.  A quilt covered her but to Chad, she looked cold.  Though he hated to wake her, the idea of her sleeping on the narrow swing, rolling off, or getting chilled was too much for him.

He shook her gently.  “Willow; lass wake up.”

“He’s good to me Mother,” she murmured in her sleep.  “You would like him.”

The hollow tones in her voice told him the ache of Kari’s loss was still rooted in Willow’s heart.  She must fight the pain constantly and, he realized miserably, probably for his sake.  “Lass, come on.  Let’s get you inside.”

“I want to stay out here, Mother.  I feel closer to Jesus in the night.”  The words were mumbled and whispered making it nearly impossible for Chad to hear them.

Not knowing what else to do, Chad went inside, grabbed her wool afghan from the chaise, and draped it over her.  He brushed her cheek with his thumb staring down at her before he picked up the hand tied ‘journal’ and carried it upstairs.  There was something lacking in these copied journals.  He needed to see if the Chief thought her journals safe at home again or not.

Upstairs, he tossed and turned.  How had he grown accustomed to having her close after only four nights?  Finally, in desperation, he lit the candle and began reading.

January, 2001

I’m broken.  I knew this day would come.  I knew eventually she’d resent me or worse.  Today when I planned a trip to Rockland to discuss her majority with Bill, she asked to go.  I refused.  Why am I so unreasonable- why do I let my fears overcome me?  Why can she not see that I wouldn’t do this unless I thought it was best?

She attacked me.  I want to say I have no idea where this venomous side came from, but I know it would be dishonest.  She got it from me and if it can be passed along genetically, I assume from Steve.  The things she said- I can’t repeat them.  My heart was broken.  I take that back.  My heart is broken.

How long will it take her to forgive me?  How long will it take me to forgive her?  Is this it?  Is this the beginning of the end of this idyllic life I tried so hard to create?  Can we ever get past this?

I can’t stand it.  She won’t look at me.  I can’t speak to her.  We work together in silence and avoid that togetherness as much as possible.  Did I blow it?  Should I have reconsidered the adoption scenario?

No!  It was the right thing to do.  Oh great.  There’s a car coming up the drive.  I need to go run off a salesman, missionary, or some other obnoxious trespasser.

Well, I didn’t get back to this for a few days, and I’m glad.  Willow apologized as did I.  I told her that next time I go to town, she’s welcome to come, just not this time.  I wanted her to make the decision to go because she’d thought it out clearly, not because I made forbidden fruit acceptable.  She seems fine with it.

Willow just came in and apologized again.  She seems broken over her ugliness.  It was truly horrible.  The things she accused me of doing were vile.  I think she’s been rehashing the conversation in her mind and realizes how it cut my heart.

Her repentance is beautiful.  I know I’m a mother and that I am probably unreasonably biased toward my child but when I think of the people I knew when I was her age- when I think of me at her age, I see justification and anger when confronted with my sin.  If not confronted, I was ambivalent.  I didn’t care.  I brushed it aside and ignored the searing it did on my heart.

Not Willow.  My girl doesn’t do that.  She sins- she’s human, but she repents, whole heartedly.  There is no justification.  There is only acknowledgement, contrition, and confession.  It may take her a while to see it, but once she does, it’s over.

I love her.  I try to imagine her in the so-called ‘real world’ and I cringe.  It’ll destroy her.  It’ll ruin the woman that God has molded out of His clay.  She’d be seared- hardened.  Her conscience- how could it remain so tender when constantly beaten by the ugliness of this world?

Men would be drawn to her and yet they’d mock her.  She’d trust them and then be crushed by their insensitive ugliness.  Even a kind man like Bill wouldn’t understand her.

Bill.  I wonder about him.  Why hasn’t he married?  What horrible things do I not know about him?  When Willow had that crush on him I worried.  Now I worry about what happens over the next few years.  She’s growing into a woman.  It won’t be long before he won’t see her as a child.  Will he take her away from me?  He’s not blind, he’s not stupid- what will I do?

Oh how ridiculous.  I’m borrowing trouble and being fearful.  He’s watched her grow up.  If anything, he’d see her as a little sister to fix up with some kid at church who would be even worse.  I need to make sure that home is the most wonderful place to be so that she doesn’t develop the desire for anything else.

If all else fails, I’ll buy her some of her blasted sheep.  She can spend a few years perfecting her sheep and spinning skills and maybe by then, I’ll have something else to interest her.  I could always insist that she learn woodworking.  After all, eventually I’m going to get old and find it hard to do some of these things.

She just brought me peach tea.  She hates the stuff- even the smell of it but she did it for me.  Lord, I don’t deserve such a wonderful daughter.

Chad closed the pages and laid them on his nightstand.  He understood Kari much more than Willow ever would.  Her concerns about men- she’d even considered the possibility of Bill.  How wrong she’d been.  Chad remembered the pain in Bill’s face as he shook hands at arrival and their leaving.  The waltz- Willow had sought him out and danced not realizing how much it hurt him to do it.

She’d been right about one thing.   Willow was wonderful.  The more he thought of it, he realized that  eeverything he thought he’d ever wanted in a wife- Willow had.  “She is wonderful Lord and like Kari, I don’t deserve her.”

***

Rain pounded the roof and earth.  Willow stared out the window and Chad stared at Willow.  It was a ridiculously exciting moment in their new marriage.

“Bowling?”

Willow shook her head  The idea sounded revolting.  “No thanks.  I’m tempted to let the puppy in.”

“You’ll regret it.”

“I know.”

Chad was disappointed.  He’d hoped she’d relent and agree to the puppy.  He hated the idea of that poor puppy out in the old and the rain.  The stupid animal kept sitting in the yard howling for someone to rescue her from herself.

“What about a movie?  There’s an action movie in Fairbuy right now…”

“I don’t want to get sick.  I think all that moving around on that huge wall would make me sick.”

He’d never seen her bored like this.  It was hysterical.  “Well…” His mind raced with ideas from roller skating to museums.  Finally he jumped to his feet.  “Get your shoes on.  Let’s go to the Aquarium.”

“What is it?  I mean, I know what an aquarium is- we almost got one once-”

“Well, the Rockland Aquarium is huge.  It has fish from all over the world.  There are actual sharks and octopi and even penguins.”

Ninety minutes later, they entered the massive building that housed the Rockland Metro Area Aquarium and Water park.  During summer, people swam with dolphins, slid down slides into pools, and watched whale shows but that side was closed during winter and on rainy days after May first.

At the first wall of glass, Chad was introduced to the Willow Bill met when she first arrived in Rockland.  Her eyes widened, her breath became shallow, and then she froze.  He wandered back and forth assuming that her stillness was voluntary but eventually came back to her side and took her hand absently.  The coldness of her fingers surprised him.

“What’s wrong.”

“Is it safe?”  She couldn’t believe she was having this conversation again.

“Is what safe.”

“That wall,” she whispered shuddering at the mental image of the glass giving way and drowning a room full of people.

Chad pulled her close to him turning her away from the wall and through a doorway.  “It’s safe.  Thousands of people come through this room every week.  Not once has that glass even cracked.”

“But the second law of thermodynamics-”

“I know,” he agreed soothingly.  “But no one said that the decay was rapid. Look how well preserved the earth is after six thousand years.  Look at that tree in California, Methuselah.  It’s been around since the time of the flood and it’s still standing.  It’s dying like everything else but it doesn’t happen overnight.”

She nodded.  This she could understand.  “How will they know when it isn’t safe?  Will they know before someone is hurt?”

She tried to glance back at the wall of glass but the darkness in the aquarium made it mercifully impossible.  They saw a beautiful tank of jellyfish and Chad rejoiced Willow didn’t notice the size of it.  The penguins delighted her causing all fear to dissipate for a while.

However, to everyone’s dismay, Chad forgot the famous Rockland Under the Sea exhibit.  They followed a tour guide through the archway and into the dome of the exhibit.  At first, Willow was as awed by the incredible sights of the water around her but when a small shark swam straight for her, she screamed.  Her voice, echoing through the room, pierced the ears of everyone and frightened several small children making them cry.

Chad’s eyes widened and the tour guide gave him a look that said, ‘do something fast.’  Uncertain what to do, he wrapped his arms around her, buried her head into his shoulder and slowly backed out of the room glancing behind him and looking for a bench.  Her screams ceased the moment he pulled her from the tunnel leading to the exhibit.

“It’s ok,” he murmured sitting down and pulling her closer.  “It’s just a room.  I forgot about it or I would have warned you.”

“There are children in there,” she sobbed quietly.  “How can they risk it-”

“People work for peanuts giving those tours and cleaning the glass and do you think they’d do that if it wasn’t safe?  Is the little bit they are paid worth the money if it’s dangerous?”

“They’re stupid.”  Willow’s obstinacy would have been annoying if her face wasn’t scrunched adorably and an air of protectiveness didn’t make him chuckle.  She sat upright and glared at him.  “What is so funny?”

“You just make my heart happy.  Even when you terrify small children.”

“I-”  The look of disbelief on her face was priceless.

“Well what did you think would happen screaming like that?”

“I screamed?”  She remembered panic.  She’d frozen in place, she was sure of it but Willow had no memory of screaming.  “I never scream.”

“Want to try again?”

She shook her head.  “I really just want to go.  Please-”  Her voice dropped to a whisper.  “I can’t get the image of that shark swimming right at me out of my head.”

Once outside, Willow glanced around her smiling at the tall buildings.  “I never thought I’d be so glad to see those huge things.  I love those buildings now.”

“Well, where to?  We’re in town-”

A smile broke out over her face.  “I want to go to the fabric store where I bought the fabric for the girls’ dresses.  I want to give the man who helped me a tip.  He was so kind.”

Chad shrugged and accepted the address she passed him.  “Do you have a card?”

“For what?”

“Well,” Chad explained patiently, “most people get embarrassed if you just hand them cash but if you put it in a card that says thank-you, it’s just different.”

They pulled up to the fabric store twenty minutes later and Chad was amused to hear her ask for ‘Josh’ by name.  “Well,” the cashier said lazily, “I think he just got off…”

“Can you page him just in case?”  Chad’s voice was firm but agreeable.

“Well-”

“Thanks, we’d really appreciate it.”

When Josh burst through the double doors, Chad fought not to drop his jaw.  The clearly effeminate actions of the man told Chad more than Willow could have possibly understood.  “Is that-”

“Josh!”  Willow rushed forward smiling.  “Do you remember me?”

“Daisy yellow.  Your wedding was just a week or two ago wasn’t it?”  Josh’s memory was legendary around the store.

“I brought you a card.  The dresses were just perfect and you were so helpful.”

Josh looked around uncomfortably.  “Want to get a coffee with me?”

Chad realized that Josh was unaware that he was with Willow and stepped forward.  “That sounds great.  It’s nice to meet you Josh.”

“Oh!”  The man’s gestures solidified Chad’s initial assessment.  This would get interesting.  “You must be the lucky groom.  Come on, I can’t wait to hear everything.”

Outside the store, Josh led them down the street, around the corner, and into an old café that had definitely seen better years.  “The coffee isn’t gourmet here but it’s good and it’s hot.”  He waved at the waitress at the counter. “When you have a minute Wendy.”

Chad pushed Willow’s card across the table.  “Willow told me how helpful you were.  I really appreciate it.  I was afraid she’d be overwhelmed in a store like yours.”

“I could tell she’d never been in one.”  He grinned at Willow.  “You know, if you hadn’t said bridal, I would have asked you out right there.  You were the most interesting person I’ve met in a long time.”

The look of shock on Chad’s face surprised Willow and amused Josh.  “I thought-”

“I’m not surprised,” Josh agreed.  “Before Barney over at the mission introduced me to Jesus…”

This was a story Chad wanted to hear.  He grinned at Willow and said, “This is going to be beautiful.  I can tell.”

“I don’t understand.”

Josh looked at Chad surprised.  “She didn’t think-”

Chad shook his head.  “She’s never been exposed to anything-”

A wistful tone entered Josh’s voice.  He looked into Willow’s eyes and reached one hand across the table to squeeze both of hers.  ”You have no idea how absolutely blessed you are.”

Confused, Willow listened as Josh told of his life long love of fashion, interior design, and beauty.  “People always assumed- I guess I can see why but-”

Suddenly, Chad guessed the story.  Assuming a person’s ‘persuasion’ did little but push Josh into a lifestyle he would never have chosen voluntarily.  “You felt trapped and assumed that others knew more about you than you knew yourself?”

“If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck-”

“It couldn’t possibly be a person who likes to wear duck costumes?”  Compassion and surprise flooded Chad’s voice.  “When did you realize?”

“When Barney treated me like something worthwhile.  He loved me, told me about Jesus, and didn’t preach at me about my lifestyle.  I finally had to bring it up.”

“What’d he say?”

“Nothing.  He said that when Jesus indwelled my heart, He’d help me do whatever Jesus wanted me to do.  He could have shown me the Bible.  At that point-”  Josh’s slight lisp grew slightly more pronounced.  “I would have grabbed at any excuse-”

“I’ll bet that’s why he didn’t,” Chad commented.  He was impressed.  Without a doubt, Chad knew that one of the first things he would have done would have been to encourage Josh to repent.

“Right.  I was looking for an out for something I hated anyway.  I don’t know if I would have ever truly repented if he would have pushed right then.”

Willow listened confused.  Josh and Chad seemed to understand each other perfectly but she didn’t have a clue as to what was such a big deal.  Though tempted to interrupt and ask, she wisely decided to wait.  Chad could explain later.  Josh seemed to need to talk.

“Of course now,” Josh continued, “I’m an outcast with the old crowd, the girls at church see me as something they can’t quite trust, and I should feel as alone as I ever did.”

“But with Jesus-” Chad began.

“You’re never alone.”

Unconsciously, Willow began humming the old hymn, “… no never alone, no never alone. He promised never to leave me, never to leave me alone…” Josh squeezed her hand again.  “Exactly.  Someday I’ll meet people who are as comfortable with me as you and Willow- and even Barney-”

“I bet you know my sister.”  Chad hesitated even as he spoke.  What if Cheri had been one of the girls who had rejected him?  He couldn’t imagine it.

“What’s her name?”

“Cheri Tesdall.”

Josh’s eyes lit up.  “She was the first person to invite me to one of those singles things that happen around different towns.  I knew she was going with some other guy but just knowing someone wanted me to go-”

“I’m just glad she’s not one of the ones who rejected-”

“Cheri wouldn’t!  Chad, how could you think that!  I think Cheri would like Josh if she wasn’t so wrapped up in Chuck.”  She blushed.  “Well, I mean she’d like him anyway but I thought she’d appreciate him more personally if her-”  Willow stopped herself.  “You know what I mean.”

They stayed through dinner.  Ate dessert, and continued to talk.  Finally, Josh jumped up and insisted he had to leave.  “I’m supposed to play the piano tonight for the children at the mission.  They have classes for the kids on Wednesday night.  I have to go.”

Chad pulled a receipt from his wallet and wrote their phone number on it.  “Call us.  Anytime.  Come visit.  Come to church with us.  Maybe what you need is a broader group of friends and we’d like to be the first to invite you to Fairbury.”

Fighting back tears and an even heavier lisp, Josh waved and dashed out the door thanking them as he went.  Chad watched him leave deeply hurt by his own attitude.  He’d made the same assumptions.  Those very assumptions by others had eventually caused the self-doubt that led a young man into a lifestyle he’d naturally rejected.

“I wonder how common that is?” he wondered to himself.

“How common what is?  What were you guys talking about?”

Chad sighed.  “Didn’t you notice anything unusual about him?”

“Well,” she admitted, “he’s a little girly but I expect it’s just because he works with fabric and the few men I know don’t.  He probably spends a lot of time with women or something.”

“It’s something like that.  Mind if I explain some other time?”  Chad stood and grasped her hand helping her from the booth.

“Sure.  Or I can ask him-”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” Chad insisted sadly.  “I think you’d make him uncomfortable.”

“I think,” Willow said remembering the walls of glass and water, and the afternoon’s conversation, “I think people overcomplicate things.  Let’s go home.”

Chapter 105~

A very different Willow left the sheep ranch outside New Cheltenham cuddling a puppy and trying out names on her.  Chad remembered getting Saige and while Willow hadn’t been ambivalent toward the dog, she had not shown nearly as much interest in that pup as she did in this one.  Fluffy ears and puppy breath kept her mind and hands occupied for the fifty miles home.

“She’s a black and white dog…”

“That’s astute of you.”

Willow shoved him playfully.  “Knock it off.  I think I’m going to name her Portia.  She’s as black and white as Portia’s interpretation of the contract in Merchant of Venice.”

“Shakespeare.  You would.”

The pup curled into her lap and settled down for a short springtime nap.  Every mile that passed seemed etched in the story of their new life together.  Both of them could feel the change and yet everything was also the same.  Had they tried to explain it, they both would have failed.

At home, the pup bounced around the barn as Willow pulled out the cultivator and then collapsed in exhaustion on a pile of straw.  Chad followed her to the field she planned to ‘plow’ and smiled to himself as she cheered at the softness of the earth.  “That rain last night helped me sleep well and now look what it’s done.  We have easy soil to turn over.”

He’d never seen anything like it.  A large wheel propelled prongs that dug up the earth as she pushed it along wheelbarrow style.  Chad was sure it was never intended to replace a regular plow but of course, Willow and her mother had no way to get gasoline for fuel powered machines.  After seeing her fight and struggle across the short side of the field for several minutes, he called her to him.

Uncertain of how committed she was to her old-fashioned ways of doing things, he jammed his fists into his pockets and stammered ineffectively a few times.  “I was thinking-”

“Chad, what’s wrong?”

“It’s killing me to watch you work yourself like that.  You could plow that whole field in a few hours instead of a week if you had proper tools.”

“What’s wrong with my cultivator?”

Frustration nearly overcame him but he kicked a dirt clod with his shoe and continued as calmly as he could manage.  “It requires so much of you Willow.  You’d be done with that row by now if you had a motorized one.  It’d save so much time and hard work-”

“But what would I do with all that time I saved?”  The question was more of a tease than a serious inquiry.

“Spend it with me, for one thing.  You could just double your production with half the work.”  As a concession to her lifestyle, he added, “If not motorized, then we at least need two of those things so we can take turns breaking ground and following behind.  I assume it’s going to take more than one pass…”

“Where can we find one of these motor ones you’re talking about.  Maybe we can use the motor for the first pass and then mine for the second.”

Excited, Chad hugged her and pulled his keys from his pocket.  “I’ll find one to rent.  We can see if you like it.”  He kissed her briefly and jogged toward the barn and retraced his steps.  “I think that was a little weak…”

***

By the time Chad arrived with a tiller, Willow had made two full passes across the field.  She watched as he started the tiller and slowly, yet much more quickly than she’d managed, made a full row across the field.  After about twenty feet, she grabbed her tiller and followed.  Chad was right.  It was much easier to follow after the machine broke ground first.

At lunch time, Willow, covered in dirt and sweat, scrubbed in the summer kitchen, made two huge sandwiches and poured the last of the lemonade into glasses.  Seated on the back porch feeding scraps to the pup, she turned to an exhausted Chad and began discussing the tiller.  “Ok, so how expensive are those things?  Would we need to own one when once this is tilled it’ll be easy to do again?  What about-”

“Woah.  Lass, we don’t have to make a permanent decision on one of these things today.”

After another bite, Willow continued her vocalized thought processes.  “Well, I keep thinking of the gas.  It’d become expensive to use it for something so easy to do-”

“Easy?  It’s brutal.  I almost ached just watching you force that thing through the dirt.”

“It’s work.  Work is hard.  I don’t understand why it’s so bad?”  The confusion in her voice was familiar- and genuine.

Chad’s fists found his pockets again making her smile.  “Willow, we were brought up in entirely different worlds.  Where you did whatever was necessary, no matter how physically taxing, my friends and family looked for the path of least resistance to get the same job done.  You made your candles, we bought ours.  You hand tilled your acres of soil, we rented one of those things for our flower beds.”

“And worked more hours somewhere else to pay for it?”

His shrug told her he wasn’t angry at her.  Her observations were valid and he found that as he considered it, accurate.  His father had traded one kind of work for ease in doing another.  Both were still work and his father had chosen the work he enjoyed most which was exactly what Willow did every day.

“You’re right.  I think I understand now.”

“Well,” she said rinsing her glass in the sink and washing her hands.  “I don’t.  That’s ok, I’m getting used to it.”

“You’re right.  Dad did the work he preferred in order to make work he didn’t enjoy easier.  You’re doing the work  you prefer.  I wasn’t brought up to enjoy it so I naturally try to find a way to make it easier.”

It was a huge breakthrough in understanding for both of them.  As much as they enjoyed their relationship, there were aspects that required both of them to step back and consider that there was another way to see the situations that would arrive.  Neither way was necessarily superior but what was familiar was usually preferred and their comfort zones were on nearly opposite poles.

“I think it’s simple,” Willow finally said.

“Oh you do?”  The amusement in Chad’s voice wasn’t lost on her but Willow chose to ignore the initial feeling of patronization.

“Of course.  When I’m working alone, I do what is familiar and comfortable for me.  When you work with me, you do what you do however you prefer.  Why should either of us overhaul anything?  Doing both worked for the field.  It’ll work for other things too.”

Chad grabbed his gloves and pulled them on as he led her out of the barn.  “Why didn’t someone tell me I was marrying a practical genius?”

“Simple.”

He eyed her warily.  “Oh?”

She took off running toward the field.  “They didn’t want you to be jealous!”

***

Willow heard the bathwater running upstairs and smiled to herself as she fried chicken.  It felt almost like ‘old times’ when she’d make dinner while Mother bathed.  How Chad could stand laying in water that slowly grew cold, she’d never understand.  Her hair still dripping after her own shower, Willow rolled her shoulders stretching out the kinks that occasionally tried to form in them.

The kitchen felt warm.  They’d have to eat on the porch.  Willow had already noticed that Chad felt the temperature extremes differently than she did.  What she considered comfortably warm or cool were hot and cold to him.  She tossed a salad, sliced bread, and jumped as Chad’s arms wrapped around her waist.

“That was sneaky!”

“And after the mud clod fight, you deserved sneaky.”

“How was I supposed to know you’d never had a mud fight?”  The innocence in her tones didn’t change the mischievous look on her face.

“I can’t believe you and your mother used to do stuff like that.  At your age!”

“Mother said we shouldn’t give up our favorite fun just because the calendar told some people we were too old for it.”

Chad popped a cherry tomato in his mouth and collapsed in the rocking chair exhausted.  “Mother was right.”

Willow turned, her eyes slowly filling with tears.  Deep sobs welled inside her and then wracked her body.  She sank to the floor in front of the kitchen sink lost in grief that Chad couldn’t understand.

For several minutes, he held her, hushed her, wiped her tears, and then held her some more.  Nothing he said or did helped to calm the emotional torment that had overcome her.  The chicken burned, Chad tossed the pan in the sink, and still Willow curled into a ball, her back to the sink, and sobbed until her heart was empty.

“I’m-” she choked back tears.  “I’m sorry about the chicken.”

“What’s wrong Lass?”  He hated seeing her like this.  She hadn’t cried so hard in months.

“It’s silly.  I feel so stupid.”  New tears, quiet ones, spilled over her cheeks splashing onto his hands.

“I still don’t understand-”

“You didn’t say your mother this time.  You just called her Mother.  It felt like you finally became a part of my family too instead of the other way around.”  She blushed at his look of incredulity.  “I told you it was silly.”

Truthfully, Chad would have had to admit he did think it silly but the pain and happiness that blended around her eyes couldn’t be ignored.  How he should have realized his use of pronouns when referring to her- no, their mother, would make him seem distant or uncaring was beyond his comprehension.  Generally Willow didn’t seem embroiled in the emotional mind games that many women of his acquaintance enjoyed but this time, she seemed a master of irrational emotions.

“I know I would have loved y- Mother, but Willow, I never knew her.  I often think of her as just ‘mother’ but other times-”

“I’m sorry,” Willow jumped to her feet brushing away her tears. “I know it’s crazy but I always feel like I’m continually taking and never giving anything.”

“You gave me you.  What more could I ask for?”  He brushed her hair away from her face and his heart ached at the sight of her puffy eyes.  “We’ll get to know your grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousins- you’ll see.  I got a new family too.  You just don’t know them that much better than I do is all.”

She gave him a half hearted smile.  “I also gave you a charred meal.  Every bride’s nightmare eh?”

“How about a trip to town and dinner at the Coventry?”

“Deal.”

Chad waited until she stood and then added, “And then when we get home, I’m going to whip your bum in Yahtzee.”

“Don’t you mean-”

Chad snatched the kitchen towel and snapped it after her as she raced toward the stairs.  “Get up there and get changed woman!”

Chapter 104~

Caution: This chapter is not necessary to the advancement of the story but it is necessary to the thoroughness of it.  Younger readers might choose to skip it.  There is nothing detailed or graphic in the least but there is a short conversation that surrounds a mature topic that I tried to handle in the most discreet way possible.  Skipping this chapter will not ruin anything for anyone.

Sunday afternoon, Chad snoozed.  His crazy work schedule, the past few month’s stresses, and the plans for the wedding all hit him at once.  Mid sentence, he’d just stopped talking.  Completely.  Willow watched him sleep for several minutes and then slipped from the living room.

Outside, she took a deep breath.  She knew he needed his rest as much as she needed time alone to process the past twenty-four hours.  She missed her mother.  She needed someone to talk to and yet wanted no one around her.

Shrugging off her unsettled spirit, Willow went straight for the washing machine and slowly loaded it with tablecloths checking each for stains before she dropped it into the machine.  In no time, the kitchen hummed with activity.  She assessed the food situation, froze leftovers, and rearranged things to her personal preferences.  In the greenhouse, she tended the plants, reordered the place, and found a few plates and things that had been stashed by someone at some point.

Next, she folded tables and took them to the barn.  There was a perfect place high above the kitchen to store them but Willow wasn’t sure how to get them up there.  Instead, she stacked them all in one stall and all of the chairs in another.  There was no way she was going to attempt to climb a ladder pushing a table.

Finally, she grabbed her tool belt and gloves, retrieved a roll of wire, and took off to fix the cut sections of fencing.  Chad awoke to see her out by the road wiring the fence back together in the afternoon sun.  His chuckle would have confused her.  Only Willow would spend the first afternoon of her honeymoon repairing fences when no animal needed them.

He pushed the screen door open and then paused.  Maybe she needed a little time alone.  Her world had been turned upside down in the last year and in the past twenty-four hours, exponentially.  His parents had worried about how their relationship would work and Chad, once again, was amazed at how God definitely worked in their life to ensure everyone’s good.

While watching Willow as she worked, Chad flipped open his phone and dialed his parents’ number.  “Mom?”

“Chad!  We didn’t expect to hear from you so soon!”

“Is Pop there?”  Marianne assured him that Christopher was with her.  “I wanted to thank you guys for everything yesterday.  Especially when it was all up in the air.  I was able to do my job because I could trust you to take care of everything else.”

“Oh Chaddie, you could have missed your own wedding!”

Christopher made hushing sounds.  “But he didn’t, he’s fine.  Just be thankful.”  To Chad he added hesitantly, “Everything ok there?”

“Sure pop.  We-” Chad cleared his throat. “Well, we had kind of a long day yesterday- all those people, and then kind of a late night so I took a nap this afternoon.”

Marianne and Christopher didn’t speak but their eyes communicated verbosely.  “You all right son?”

“Um yeah!  I’m great actually.  Willow seems to have taken my naptime and put it to good use.  The tables are out of the yard, she’s probably washing linens, and right now, she’s out fixing fences.”

Marianne’s face fell.  Christopher put his arm around her and tried to stifle the sigh that threatened to escape.  “I knew you guys would have the world’s most unusual honeymoon.”

“Yeah.”  Chad’s parents couldn’t understand the lack of disappointment in his voice.  This must be so hard for their son.  “Well, I should get out there and help her or she’ll be antsy all night thinking about the work that wasn’t done.”

Chad grinned to himself knowing what his parents must be thinking.  “I just wanted to invite you to come out any weekend- well, maybe not next but anytime after that. We have enough room you know.  Cheri can have ‘her room’ and the spare room mattress is comfortable as you well know.”

“We’re not going to kick you out of your room, son.  We can visit without staying overnight.”

“Oh no problem.  You wouldn’t be kicking me out of my room.  I’m pretty sure Willow would have serious objections to giving up her bed.”

With that, Chad said goodbye and clicked the phone shut.  What he would give to see his parents’ faces right now.  While in Westbury, the elder Tesdalls hugged one another in joyous excitement, Chad slipped out the front door and started down the driveway meeting Willow half-way.  She smiled as she neared.  “Afternoon Chaddie.”

Chad pulled her close taking her tools and wire from her.  “You could have woken me lass.  I’d have helped.”

“You needed your rest.”

They walked up the drive to the barn.  At the barn, he dropped everything and pulled her close.  “I am a very happy man.”

“That was the goal,” she replied impishly.

***

Chad’s Argosy Junction CD played in his laptop as they ate dinner.  Willow toyed with her salad picking chicken pieces out and then dropping them back to the plate.  “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.”

As he ate his own salad laden with leftover chicken from the previous night, Chad tried to imagine what could be bothering her.  “Well, if you don’t feel like eating, how about a walk?”  Her shrug was less than encouraging.  “Play a game?”

Chad didn’t know what to think.  Why was she so out of spirits?  Had he offended her?  Should he ask or would that make it worse.  Women got that way sometimes.  If you didn’t know why they were irritated that just made the situation worse.  He glanced at her.  No, Willow wouldn’t be like that.

“Have I said or done something that bothers you?”

Her eyes flew up from her plate.  “Of course not!”

She took a bite as if to assure him she’d be fine.  It only unsettled him further.  In desperation, he clung to the only thing that he could think might be the problem.  “Um, would you rather I make up the bed in your mom’s room?”

“No!”  Willow stood and shoved back the chair.  “That is-, if you think that’s best, then fine but don’t do it on my account.”

“I’m trying to understand what is wrong but I’m failing here.”

“I don’t know, I said.  I wish I did so I could tell you but I just don’t know.”

After he carried his empty late to the sink and reached automatically for a towel.  The edge left the air in the kitchen as they worked silently together to put the room back in order.  Once finished, the unsettled feeling shrouded Willow again and Chad noticed immediately.

“I’ll go milk Ditto.”

“Why don’t I do that and you relax?”

Chad started to protest but the disappointment that crept into her face stopped him.  “You’re probably right.  I think I’ll take a shower.”

While lathering and rinsing Chad prayed.  As he dried off, realization dawned.  He remembered Willow after his nap, during kitchen clean up, and the change that came over her as she strolled to the barn for Ditto’s milk pail.  He tossed the Dockers and button down shirt he’d brought to change into back into the closet and pulled on old jeans and a holey t-shirt.

At the barn, he met Willow carrying the milk pail.  “So, what do we do on a spring evening?  Hoe?  Rake?  Sow?  Reap?  If we reap, do we have to do it grimly?”

“You want to work?”  A spark lit her eyes but she quickly extinguished it.

“Isn’t there a lot of work to be done around here?”

“Well-”

Draping an arm across her shoulder, Chad led her into the summer kitchen and began straining the milk.  “Look, I think I know what is wrong.”

“Well then tell me, because I’m going crazy.”

“You’re bored.”

“I am not!” she protested hotly.  “That’s ridiculous.”

“But you are.  You’re used to being very active, even if it’s laying around catching fish.  You’re not used to lying around the house doing nothing.  You’ve spent the past three weeks doing things that put you behind in your spring and summer work and it’s showing.”

“But this is our honeymoon.  Aren’t we supposed to be relaxing?”

Chad poured the boiling water over the freshly washed milk pail and let it drip dry on the counter.  He laced their fingers together, and pulled her outside into the evening air.  “Some people go skiing, others go snorkeling or mountain climbing.  Sightseeing is even exhausting.  We’re farming.  So what?”

“Well, we do need…”

Her mind went in a million audible directions.  Among the things mentioned were another field for more alfalfa, more chicks arriving that week, the need to shear the sheep before the first of June, and a dog house for the new puppy.  “Mother never allowed a dog house.  She said the barn was sufficient but I always wanted a dog house right under that tree and I’d like to have one.  You know how to build things.”

“I can’t believe you refuse to even try.”

“I’m no good-”

His head shook as he interrupted. “Nope, not buying it.  You said that about shooting but you worked at it until you were a good shot because you had to.  Your mother wasn’t there to do it for you so you worked hard and learned it.  Your mother always did well with wood, you found it hard, so you decided to let it beat you because it was less injurious to your pride.”

Her protest died in her throat.  She clamped a hand over her mouth and stared at Chad in dismay.  “You’re right.  I can’t believe it but you’re right.”

“Well, we can’t build a dog house tonight.”

“We can’t plow up a field either.  Too much work for so late.  We can do that Wednesday.  Tonight, why don’t we work outside on flower beds, the garden, rotate the fields for the animals…”

Already, Chad felt lost but his Willow was back.  She folded the tablecloths from the line and handed him a new basket.  “Why don’t you hang these and I’ll walk around and see what we need to do first.”

Until twilight, they worked.  Chad rotated animals and picked weeds in her immense gardens.  The space was twice the size of the previous year and it took all evening to get all of the weeds and tomato worms out of the garden working as quickly as he could.

Meanwhile, Willow scrubbed down the porch, weeded the flower beds, and though it didn’t look much different, felt satisfied as moonlight replaced sunlight she stood up and dusted her hands, contented.  “Well, that’s a good day’s work.”

“Well, especially for Sunday-”

“Oh!”  Willow’s eyes widened.  “Mother always thought we should limit ourselves once a week.  She wasn’t a strict sabbatarian but she did think a day of less work was important.  I just forgot it was Sunday.”

“Well, we did enough.  We wouldn’t want to collapse in exhaustion-”

“Oh,” she interrupted excitedly.  “But I sleep best when I’ve worked hard all day.  Crawl into bed, collapse, and don’t wake up until the sun rises.  It’s the best sleep ever.”

Chad’s jaw attempted to drop but he kept tight control over his stunned amusement.  As they climbed the steps, he stifled chuckles and tried to think of a way to remind her of other plans for the evening.  “I had other ideas…”

“Game?”

“Um-”  As delicately as he could, Chad made several suggestions for how they could spend their evening which widened Willow’s eyes to immense dimensions.

“Again?  We don’t even know that it didn’t work yet!”

Suddenly, Chad found himself choking on nothing.  Several times he tried to explain and each time he began coughing again.  Willow watched the procedure with uncertainty and finally resignation.  “This is something that I am supposed to know but don’t again, isn’t it?”

Chad nodded. “Remember when we talked about the value of money and you based your opinions on what was worth to you rather than what most people would say?”

“Mmhmm…”  The skepticism hadn’t left her voice.

“Well, this is another one of those perception things.”  He stammered for a few minutes before he sank into the couch pulling her down with him.  “Let’s talk.”

Later, neither of them remembered what Chad said that evening but Willow’s understanding of life and marriage was a little more balanced and well rounded by the time he finished.  As he waited to hear her opinion of all he’d shared, Chad prayed.  They’d finally gotten past her mother’s fears but had he introduced new ones of his own?

Her voice was quiet and contemplative as she finally spoke.  “Well, then does that make it good or bad that I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t be pregnant quite yet?”

Chapter 103~

The afternoon passed slowly and lazily.  Chad seemed happy to rest on the couch or the swing which nearly drove Willow crazy.  The kitchens had been cleaned by the caterers and the dance floor and tents were gone along with the horse, but the tables still stood in the pasture.  Several loads of laundry begged to be finished but instinctively, Willow knew that this was one day to let it all go.

“Want to take a walk?”  Chad recognized the restlessness in her.  Willow got that way anytime she seemed to need something she didn’t have.

“Really?”  It didn’t take a second urging.  Willow jumped to her feet and grabbed his hand.  “Where do you want to go?”

“Let’s just walk.  I think we both are tired and have restless energy to burn.”

They wandered across pastures, near the stream, and over toward Adric’s land.  The scene from the night before kept playing itself repeatedly in her mind until Willow finally decided to ask.  “Why were you so upset about that ticket Todd got?”

A deep sigh seemed to overpower him.  Chad’s shoulder sagged and he dropped her hand choosing to pull her closer instead.  “I’d only been here a few weeks.  I was walking the beat- I didn’t mind it so much then- when a car tore up Market Street.”  Raw emotion choked him as Chad tried to tell his story.  “I- I tried to stop the kid.  I didn’t know his name but he was riding a scooter along the sidewalk.  Didn’t pay attention to what he was doing and rode out in front of that car.”

“Oh Chad…”

“The speed limit would have done that child some damage but when I heard the sickening thump of that little body against the hood.”  Chad stopped and looked down at her miserably.  “He wasn’t wearing a helmet.  His head-”

Chad shoved his fists in his pockets and started walking again.  “I’d seen accident photos, gone on ride-alongs.  I’d been trained but no one can truly train you to be prepared for the crumpled body of a child.  The irony of it was that the people were speeding to get their own child to the clinic.  She’d split her tongue on the docks at the lake.”

“Did the child- make it?”  She barely whispered the question.

“Somehow he made it.  A broken arm, a broken leg, and more stitches than a child’s head should ever see but he made it.  No permanent damage-” Chad smiled to himself.  “Except maybe to his brain.  He didn’t learn anything from it.  Kid still rides around without his helmet.”

“Aiden?  Aiden Cox?”

Chad nodded.  “I’ve got a soft spot for that little guy.”

Her hand crept up to turn his face to hers.  She kissed him lightly and then smiled.  “I have a soft spot for you.”

***

They played every game she owned.  Twice.  They spent unknown amounts of time viewing the pictures in her Viewmaster.  The only thing they didn’t do was pull out Chad’s laptop and start a movie.

The clock struck nine-thirty before Chad decided to get the awkwardness over with.  “You’re exhausted Willow.  Let’s go to bed.”

The panicked look on her face tore at his heart.  As much as she tried to trust, Willow was still struggling.  He gave her the most reassuring smile that he could, extinguished the candles and turned down the lamps.  Once she was safely in her bed, she’d relax and sleep.  He, on the other hand, was in for a long night.

At her bedroom door, Chad leaned against the doorjamb and pulled her into a hug.  “I do love you Willow.  I’m not very good at remembering to tell you that but I do.  I’ll be right across the hall if you need me just like I’ve been so many other times.”  He kissed her, trying with every ounce of self control to keep her feeling secure and unpressured, turned, and slipped into his room shutting the door behind him.

Willow smiled as the latch clicked shut.  His wedding present was in there.  She’d been nervous about the gift for the past few weeks.  Would he like it?  Was it the right choice?  Should she have shared it with someone to get a second opinion?  It was too late now.  The gift was given and she just had to hope he’d enjoy it as much as she’d anticipated.

She grabbed her brush and started working on the nasty snarls that now took up residence in her hair.  “Lord, I’m trusting You on this one,” she whispered.

***

Chad gently shut the door behind him and leaned against it.  He’d have to open it again before he crawled in bed.  Teeth.  He’d forgotten his teeth.  He started to reach for the drawer with his shorts and sweats and paused.  He could shut the door again if he didn’t change in the bathroom.

He opened the door and smiled at Willow as she looked up at him expectantly.  “Forgot to brush my teeth.”  She nodded and continued brushing her hair, the familiar blue scrunchie wrapped around her wrist as she worked out the snarls.  He pointed at her hair.  “Sorry about that.”

“I’m good.  Almost have them out.”

“I was selfish though.”  He started to lean against the doorjamb again and caught himself.  He couldn’t get sidetracked or he’d make it worse.  “Teeth.  I’m going to forget my teeth.”

She nodded absently and went back to brushing her hair as Chad stepped inside the bathroom and closed the door with as much self-restraint as he could.  He wanted to slam it.  He wanted five minutes alone with either of the Steven Solaris.  He wanted-  Chad sighed.  It didn’t matter what he wanted.  He’d made a promise and if he loved his wife-  Wife.  Wow.  If he loved his wife half as much as he claimed, he’d keep that promise and trust the Lord for the rest.

As he slipped back inside Kari’s room, Willow went to brush her own teeth.  The sight of the back of her dress made her groan.  She’d end up sleeping in this thing if-

Chad’s door opened.  She met him at the bathroom door with a smile.  “Need something?”

He pulled several gift bows from behind his back and presented them to her.  “Mind telling me what these are?”

She brushed past him, barely acknowledging the bows, and shrugged.  “Your wedding gift.”

“I found them in my clothing drawer.  You know, the one I filled a few days ago and that is now empty?”

“Really now?”  Her words were playful but her tone was weak.

He caught her hand and pulled her a little closer.  “Where are my clothes Willow?”

She pointed to her bureau.  “In there.  Where they belong.”

A new expression lit Chad’s face.  He released her hand and went back into Kari’s room returning moments later with another bow.  “Where are my sheets and pillows?”

“Sheets are in Mother’s closet.”  She swallowed hard.  “Your pillows are on your bed.”

“Willow,” he insisted with more patience than he knew he possessed, “My bed doesn’t have any pillows.”

Willow’s eyes flitted to the other side of her bed.  “From where I stand, they’re right where they belong.”  She took a deep breath, gave him a hesitant smile and said, “Is this where I say, ‘Happy Wedding’?”

Chapter 102~ (The Wedding)

Birds sang in trees outside the window.  A cool but fresh breeze ruffled the curtains and sent her hair dancing around her face.  The faint sound of the lowing of a cow hovered around her sub-consciousness.  Chickens squabbling in the yard finally woke her.

Sitting up abruptly in bed, she smiled.  The wedding- it was today.  Tossing the covers back, she raced from her room, across the hall, and burst into the room exclaiming, “Wake up-”  Her voice faded into a whisper.  “Willow?”

A voice from her parents’ room called, “She got up hours ago.  Get dressed, there’s work to do.”

“It’s only eight!  How many hours are we talking?”

Christopher opened the door.  “She sent me back to bed at six and said to get some more rest.  She’d been up for at least an hour then.”

“Where’s Chad?”

“I don’t know, getting dressed?”

“Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggghhhhhhh.”  The wail was infused with a seemingly endless groan.  “I’m going to go crazy, I’m sure of it.”

Marianne’s voice echoed through the door.  “I want Willow around when Cheri does this or we’ll all go insane.”

Cheri whirled and raced to throw on yesterday’s jeans and t-shirt.  She’d need a shower soon anyway.  It was time to find Willow and see what needed to be done.  Why hadn’t she done a normal church wedding with normal church things?

Downstairs, Cheri hardly recognized the house.  Every surface was full of daisies and lilac sprays in mason jars.  She started to go outside and then retraced her steps to the staircase.  How had she missed swags of tulle heading upstairs?  The porch looked beautiful.  Tulle and flowers seemed to scream ‘it’s a Wedding today!’ until it made Cheri’s heart ache.

A small table draped with one of the tablecloths Willow had hemstitched was loaded with the gift boxes of lemon marmalade.  It looked like one huge present waiting for the bride and groom but Cheri shook her head.  No one told Willow they should have gone at each place setting and it was too late now.

A work truck was unloading a pile of boards that Cheri could only assume was the dance floor.  Tables were set up under semi sheer tents with just enough shade to keep people comfortable and yet still allow natural sunlight.  The Catering truck arrived and Willow emerged from the greenhouse to direct them to the kitchens.

Cheri hurried inside and was surprised to see extension cords running from outlets to the stove.  Chafing dishes sat across the covered stove waiting for food and the table was covered with dishes.  How Willow had accomplished so much in so little time was incomprehensible to her.

Christopher and Marianne arrived in the living room just as Cheri decided to call for help.  “She must be working like a mad woman.  She’ll be exhausted and I saw this guy walking around everywhere taking pictures.  Is that the photographer?”

“Probably.”

“Well he left!”  Cheri’s voice was a cross between dismay and incredulity.

“He’s probably going to take pictures of Chad getting ready.”

“Chad is really getting ready at his house?  Are you serious?  Doesn’t he know how much work is left?”

Marianne led her daughter out the front door, down the steps, across the yard, and to Willow’s side.  “Ok, what can we do?”

Without a word, Willow flipped through her ever-present clip board and handed a sheet to them.  “I had to stagger the bathroom.  I will need in there by nine forty-five.”  She glanced at Cheri.  “You did bring the hot air blower right?”

“Air blower?”

“For drying your hair.  You said you were bringing it?”

“Oh sure.  I brought it.”  Cheri shook her head.  Air blower.  What next?

Willow turned to give directions to someone that neither Cheri nor Marianne could identify and then turned back and smiled.  “In the mean time, I have a list of things you can do if you need something to keep you busy until it’s your turn in the bathroom.”

“What time are you getting ready?

“I’ve planned an hour or so.  It shouldn’t take that long but you never know what Cheri has planned for me.”  Her wink in Cheri’s direction softened her words.

Before they knew what happened, Willow disappeared into the greenhouse, exited near the barn, and followed several people into the summer kitchen.  Marianne and Cheri stared at the list divvying it up quickly.  By the time Christopher found them after his morning cup of coffee, they were busy covering tables with cloths, napkins, and Willow followed with jars of daisies and lilacs.  It seemed like there were flowers everywhere.

The only thing that seemed like it was missing, was Chad.

***

Chad’s phone rang at five forty-three.  One look at the number and he flipped it open.  “Yeah Chief.”

“I need you in here now.”

“Um, Chief, that wasn’t funny.”  Chad rubbed the sand from his eyes.

“I am not joking.  Get your sorry backside in here now.  I’ve got  Joe on a transport, Judith isn’t picking up, Martinez left us short handed, and Waverly hasn’t reported for duty.  I need help now.  There’s no one on duty.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“It’s just until Joe gets back.  That wedding isn’t until eleven.  He’ll be back before seven.  Does it really take you four hours to primp son?”

Grumbling, Chad grabbed his uniform and hurried into the bathroom.  By the time he emerged, Todd was staring at the door in disbelief.  “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“That’s what I told the Chief.  I’ll be back around seven.  Call the house at eight if I’m not back by then and make sure they don’t need anything.”

“Yes Sir!”

Chad ignored the salute and jogged down the steps to his truck.  Normally, he’d walk on a nice morning like this but the Chief’s voice still rang in his ears.  At the station, Varney tossed Chad the keys to the cruiser and insisted he drive.  “I’ll get someone on beat when Waverly arrives.  I just checked the schedule again and he’s not supposed to be here until ten.  I don’t know how that happened.”

Chad hardly acknowledged the Chief’s words.  This was the biggest nightmare that he could ever imagine.  If he was late, he’d shoot something even if he had to settle for his paintball guns to do it.

His fingers drummed on the steering wheel as he cruised up and down the main streets, main side streets, and then did a super quick pass to see if things were buzzing at the farm.  If the Chief didn’t like it, Chad would be happy to be fired.  For the first time, he truly was appreciative of Willow’s money.

He whipped the car around and zipped back to town before it was obvious where he’d gone.  The town was slowly coming awake, tourists were arriving for the Coventry’s famous buffets and picnics by the lake.  He waved at Alexa who flagged him down in surprise.

“What are you doing in that car Chad Tesdall!”

“It was just the Chief in the station- Joe had to do a transport, so I’m all that’s left.”

“Where’s Judith or the new guy?”

Chad shrugged.  “I don’t know.  No one does.  This is insane.”

“At ten o’clock, you drive out there regardless.  I’ll watch the station if I have to.”

Her feisty demeanor made Chad relax.  It’d be ok.  Something would make it work.  The Lord wouldn’t let his day be ruined.  Solari was dead, his wife in jail, no new threats on the horizon.  It’d be ok.

“Thanks Alexa.  I needed to hear you say that.”

“Judith is usually so punctual.  Did anyone go over to her house?”

“No, but I will.  You’re right.  This is highly unusual.”  Chad waved and sped toward Judith’s duplex near the lake.

He’d forgotten what a ramshackle old place those duplexes were.  Judith bought it with the idea that she could rent out one side and live in the other essentially living rent free.  What she hadn’t counted on were her crazy working hours that made it nearly impossible to get anything done.  For Christmas three years ago, Alexa had paid to have it reroofed after a particularly bad snowstorm.

His knock produced no answer.  Her car was gone, the lights were out- maybe she was at the station and they just hadn’t called him yet.  Chad flipped open his phone and dialed.  “Chief, is Judith there yet?”

“No.  It’s only six forty-five.  She’ll be here or Joe will.  Calm down.”

“But Chief, she’s never late, she’s not home.  Something seems odd about it.”

The chief’s voice sounded strained.  “She’s not home?  Is her car there?”

“Nope.  I don’t know where she is but she’s not here and she’s not where she should be and that isn’t a good combination for someone as steady as Judith.”

“Come in.”

Chad sighed and flipped his phone shut.  He debated calling his mother and rejected the idea.  She’d flip and then Willow would have more to handle.  He didn’t want to worry Willow.  She’d become good friends with Judith over the time they’d spent together.  Finally, he called Todd.

“Hey, we’ve got a situation here.  One of our officers isn’t home, didn’t show for work, and isn’t answering her phone.  I might barely make it if we have to start looking for her.”

“Don’t you have to wait twenty-four hours before you can do the missing person’s thing?”

“Just listen,” Chad wasn’t in the mood for Todd’s jokes.  “I’m sorry.  I just am frustrated, a little concerned, and time is racing.  Take my suit to the farm.  I’ll get dressed there.  When you get there, tell my father, then tell Willow.  Don’t say anything to anyone else.  If they ask when I’m coming, tell them to remember I’ll be there in time for ‘I do’.  It should shut them up.”

“You are seriously playing in dangerous territory.  I don’t think even someone like Willow will appreciate being stood up at the altar.”

Chad laughed.  “But since we’re partying first, the ‘altar’ can happen anytime so no worries.”

“Like I said, you are seriously playing with dangerous territory.  There are two things you don’t mess with women with.  One, their wedding, two their weight.”

“See you later.”  Chad hung up the phone before Todd made him truly nervous.

***

Christopher’s eyes widened as Todd explained the situation.  “Thanks Todd.  I’d better find Willow.  Let me tell her.”

“Mr. T?”

“Yeah?”

Todd sighed.  “I’m really sorry.  I don’t want to put a damper on anything but-”

“But you think this is going to be bad.”

“Call him.  Talk to him.  Maybe you’ll get a different sense than I did.”  Todd’s voice was laced with pain.  “I know how important this day is to him and he’s going to miss it.”

The phone snapped shut in Christopher’s hand before he realized he’d what he’d done.  This wasn’t going to go over well.  Not. Well. At. All.  He found Willow in the cellar of all places, covering bowls of cut fruit.  “Need something-” she hesitated.  “It’s almost wedding time, can I just call you Dad now?”

Her words tore at Christopher’s heart.  This was going to hurt.  “You can call me anything you want but I’ve got some very bad news.”

“The cake is ruined.”

“Worse.”

With a twinkle in her eye that Christopher thought he wouldn’t see for some time, Willow turned it into a game.  “Cheri twisted her ankle”

“Worse.”

“Germany opened Auchtwitz again.”

His chuckle sounded strained even to her ears.  “Not quite that bad.”

“Cheri slapped Todd.”

“Not that funny.”

“Well,” she conceded.  “Unless you’re telling me that Chad changed his mind and has run off with Judith to Bermuda-”  The look of horror on Christopher’s face stopped her.  “Dad, what is it?”

“Well, it’s not that but it’s nearly that bad.  Judith is missing, Joe is out of town, there wasn’t anyone to help the Chief so he had to call Chad in to work.”

“Oh.  Well, it’s not good of course but hey, we don’t have a time schedule or anything.  We’ll just do whatever we like until he gets here.  If it’s time for wedding by then, then we’ll do the vows.  If it’s not, then we’ll party some more and then do the vows.”

“It’s a little worse than that.  Judith is missing so he could get tied up all day.”  At the look of dismay on her face, he hastened to add.  “I don’t think it will happen!  I really don’t.  I just had to be honest with you.”

“Forget about the wedding, Dad!  A woman is missing!  Do they need people to help look?”

Without waiting for an answer, Willow raced upstairs, up to her room, and shut the door obviously to call Chad.  Christopher stared at the light streaming down into the cellar and shook his head in amazement.  “Wow.”

***

Judith banged her phone again.  The battery must be shot because it’d been fully charged when she left the house.  It was cool, she was cramped, and according to the car clock, she was late for work.  She’d been sitting in the ditch for hours.  The shuttle to Rockland would be coming along in about ten minutes.  She planned to use her badge to get a ride.  It wasn’t exactly protocol but being late to work on Chad’s wedding day was enough justification in her book.

Thirty minutes later, she walked through the streets of Fairbury, jogging every few minutes, and burst into the station.  “Chief!  I’m here!  I’m so sorry.”

“Where’ve you been!”  The chief’s voice thundered from his office sounding nearer and more angry with each step until he stood in the doorway glaring at her.  “I’ve got Chad combing the streets for you, Joe diverted to the lake to look for you and I’m sitting here thinking the worst.”

“You know how I’m never late for work?  Ever?”

“Mmm hmm.”  Varney’s voice stated that he wasn’t impressed.

“Well, just keep that in mind when you sentence me to something horrible.  I went to Rockland last night to get a gift for Chad and Willow and my car broke down on the way home.”  Judith held up a bag.  “Scored a cool gift though.  Chad’ll love it.”

The Chief was already on the phone with Chad.  “She’s here, safe, and just needs a ride to go home and change and then back again.  We’ve got the rest.”

***

The morning was somewhat surreal to him.  Chad lived it and yet part of him was detached as though watching from the outside.  He realized that this was due to seeing Wes and realizing he was seeing the day through Wes’ lens as well as living it.

The final box was stowed in Chad’s truck at ten o’clock and he and Todd took off for the farm.  It was going to be a wonderful day if it killed him.  Judith’s gift, still stuffed in a plastic bag and tied with a knot for the ‘bow’ sat next to him on his seat.  He wanted that on Cheri’s ‘gift table’ and he wanted Wes to get a good picture of it.

Matt suggested that Chad park his truck on the far side of the goat pen for easy get-away if the occasion arose.  Ditto bleated her congratulations and the chickens ran around as though bereft of heads as Todd shouted greetings.  Yep.  Just another crazy day on Walden Farm.

“They found her?”  Christopher met Chad at the back door.

“She walked in a bit ago.  She broke down on the side of the road.”  Chad pause. “Oh, I forgot.  There’s a gift on the seat of my truck.  Can you get someone to put it on the gift table?  I really need to see Willow.”

“Your mother isn’t going to let you go anywhere near her.”

Chad glanced at his watch.  “It’s ten fifteen.  When will she be ready?”

“I’ll go ask.  Anything else you need to know?”

“Anything need doing?  I’ve got thirty or forty-five minutes.”

Christopher’s hand swept the yard.  “She’s got a well oiled machine going on here.  I’d go sit down and relax.  You won’t get to do that again until after you kick us out.”

Through the house and onto the front porch, Chad strolled leisurely to the porch swing.  Still holding his jacket over one shoulder, he stretched out on the bench, leaned his head against the chain, and closed his eyes.  The heady scent of lilacs filled the air and the sounds of busy workers were muffled only but occasional giggles from Willow’s room.

***

A gentle knock interrupted the curling frenzy going on in Willow’s bedroom.  “Willow?”

“Yes?”  She didn’t attempt to open the door.  Any sudden movement would ensure second degree burns.

“Chad’s here.  Everything’s good.”

A sigh of relief escaped.  “Send him up.”

“Nuh uh!”  Cheri’s indignation was only slightly more vocal than Marianne’s “I think not!”

“Girls!  They are going to see each other before the ceremony.  That’s how this is working.  What’s the big deal?”  Christopher knew it was a lost cause but felt obligated to try.

“The big deal is, in a few minutes she’s not going to have clothes on.  Now go away.”

A fresh wave of laughter sent Christopher running for his life while Cheri started brushing mineral powder into Willow’s face.  “I got this stuff.  I spent all week learning how to use it too.  They swear it won’t melt off no matter how hot and sweaty you get but I don’t know if I believe them.”

Willow was incapable of reply.  Her mouth clamped shut as a brush dusted powder into her cheeks, chin, and across her forehead.  As she sat there being converted into Cheri’s idea of the perfect bride, she wondered what Chad was thinking.  Had he gotten enough sleep?  Was he hungry?

The first words out of her mouth once Cheri wiped her lips with a face wipe were, “Has Chad eaten today?”

Marianne hurried downstairs to ask but the sight of her son snoozing in the porch swing sent her back inside without asking.  She saw Wes come through from the kitchen and pointed outside.  “Did you get one of him out there?”

“Got several.  That was the best picture I’ve ever taken of a groom.  I think I’ll call it, ‘Wedding Jitters’.”

Upstairs, Willow smiled to herself as she heard of Chad’s catnap.  Marianne caught the look and beckoned Wes upstairs.  “Before you change Willow, I want Cheri to touch up anything she can so we can get a few pictures of you getting ready.”

“Can we get your bouquet in here?”  Wes spoke between shutter snaps.

“Bouquet?  There are jars of flowers everywhere.  If you want one in here, maybe Dad could run down and grab one from the living room?”

“No, the bouquet you’ll carry.  Where’s that and I’ll have Dad find it.”  As she spoke, Cheri tweaked a tendril into a perfect spiral down one side of her face.

“Oh, like Aggie’s for covering the kiss?  We’re not covering it.  Chad didn’t like that idea.”

“You’re supposed to carry one just because you’re a bride and bride’s have bouquets.”  The tone of disgust in Cheri’s voice was barely disguised.  “Didn’t you read those magazines?”

“Cheri!”

“I’m sorry.  I really am but it gets frustrating not knowing which thing won’t happen next.”

Willow turned understanding eyes to meet Cheri’s.  “I guess now you know how I’ve felt all these weeks.  You wonder what won’t happen and I wonder what I’ll offend everyone over because I didn’t know I had to do it or be offensive.”  She fought back tears.  “I did read a lot of those magazines and I kept reading, over and over, ‘This is your day.  Own it.  Make it a reflection of you and your groom’s tastes.  Challenge the norms but don’t deviate so far from everything that is familiar that twenty years from now you wonder what you were thinking.’”  She swallowed back choked words and tried to smile.  “I did what it said but I guess I didn’t choose the right things to focus on.”

Cheri’s arms wrapped comfortingly around her shoulders.  “Ignore me.  I have pre-wedding jitters and I’m taking them out on you.  I’m just sure something major is going to happen.  I can feel it.”

“It did but it’s over now.  Chad’s here.  If Judith hadn’t shown up, we might have just had a big party with no host.  Relax!”  Willow’s laughter drifted to the porch below and brought a smile to Chad’s semi-conscious face.

“I’ll make a bouquet.  Give me a minute and I’ll be right back.”

Hands reached for her but Willow hurried downstairs in robe, flip-flops, and with perfect hair and make up.  The sight was comical to the catering staff and Lane standing at the sink shook her head.  “Need something?”

“I just have to run down and get some flowers for a bouquet.  Oh.  Ribbon.”  She paused as though in a quandary.  “I need ribbon, wire, and scissors.  Drat.”

“Tell me where to find them and I’ll bring them down.  You need to hurry.  I saw two cars arrive a minute ago and you’re not even dressed.”

“How long does it take to step into a dress and pull up a zipper?”  Willow shrugged and then explained where to find what she needed.

“Toolbox by the door, on the shelf to the left.  Ribbon is on the spool rack.  White satin and golden sheer.  Got it.”

While Willow pulled daisy stems from the leftovers in the barrel, Lane dashed upstairs waving the group hovering around the doorways for Willow’s return.  “She forgot ribbon and wire.”

“Forgot!  Yes!”  Cheri pumped her fist jubilantly.  “A real bride at last.”

“Well honestly Cheri, she didn’t plan to make a bouquet at all so last minute, this is putting a lot of pressure on her.”

Wes cleared his throat uncomfortably.  “I didn’t mean to make trouble.  I just assumed…”

“It’s common around here.  No worries.  If Willow was adverse to flowers, she’d have said, ‘Sorry, I just don’t see a reason to waste my time making something I’m just going to throw away.’” Cheri assured him in a perfect imitation of Willow’s confident tones.

“I think I’ll run down and get a picture of her going up the stairs in that robe.  That’s the kind of thing that usually makes for the most fun pictures.”

Wes followed her upstairs getting a perfect picture of her pedicure as he placed his camera lens between the railings.  Upstairs, she waited as Cheri tried to recreate the dressing process.  The stiffness was creating awkward and obviously posed pictures until Christopher started cracking jokes in the hallway.  He recommended beauty marks, warts on noses, and told Cheri to try the Goth look for herself causing Marianne to threaten to bar the door.

Cheri handed Willow a bag the moment she finished additional tweaks to the bride’s face and hair.  “Put these on, step into that dress, and call me.  I’ll lace you up.”

Once the door shut, Willow pulled out undergarments that she hadn’t expected.  What on earth- how did you hook yourself into something like this?  For several minutes she fought to hook and tie everything until she was going insane.  Finally, she stepped inside the dress, pushed her arms in the sleeves, and called for Cheri.

“You’re going to have to hook that thing up.  I can’t do it.”

Her instructions were unnecessary.  Cheri was already hooking the corset and then lacing her into her dress.  “This is incredible.  From the back you look amazing!  How can anyone look that good from the back?”

Willow caught her reflection in the mirror and stared.  “Well, I don’t look that bad from the front but I’m not sure how decent I look.”

“It covers.  That’s what counts.”

“Well, I’d better not bend over or dance with anyone very tall, that’s for sure.”  Her tone was more uncertain than her words.  Willow looked very uncomfortable.  “I don’t understand. I tried this on four days ago and it wasn’t a problem.”

“You left your bra off.  Good undergarments make the outfit as you can see.”

“As everyone can see.”  She hesitated and then called for Marianne.  “Mom, I need an opinion in here!”

Marianne gasped as she opened the door.  “You look-”  Tears welled up in her eyes.  “Oh Willow, my Chaddie is going to be so stunned.”

“She’s concerned about stunning other men.  She thinks it’s indecent.”

“Wes is still, ready to take a picture of you in your room in your dress.  Want me to call Christopher back up here and what he thinks first?”

“Please.”  The pleading in her tones wasn’t lost on anyone.

“Willow,” Cheri began.  “You don’t have to do this.  You can take it off.”

“Do you know how hard it is to get out of this dress?”

“Do you realize you can’t do it without help?  You are so busted girl.” Cheri thought to herself.  “Well, regardless, you look great.”

“That she does.  Chad should be seeing this.”

“Any minute now!”  Marianne’s voice was excited.  “I see a couple of cars out there already.  I think one is the Finleys.  I’m looking forward to meeting them.”

“Ok, well then, it’s time to do this thing.”  Willow grabbed a hidden loop under the dress and hooked it over her wrist.  “So I don’t step on it,” she explained to confused faces.

“Do it when you’re already down there.  Wes’ll want good pictures of that train.  It’s not long but it’s so gorgeous-”  There was a dreamy note in Marianne’s voice.  She hugged Willow and then cupped Willow’s face in her hands.  “My son is blessed.  I am blessed.”

“Mom!  Cut it out.  You’re such a sap.”

Christopher, while the women emoted all over one another, woke up Chad.  “Son, she’s coming down.  You don’t want to miss this.”

He stretched, slid his arms in his jacket, and then Chad stepped inside the door just in time to see Willow turn the corner at the landing.  The woman who stood there was everything he expected and nothing he’d imagined.  She was Willow- yet she wasn’t.  The Policeman’s ball had been a cheap imitation in comparison.

“Wow.”

To everyone’s surprise and delight, Willow did not continue walking slowly down the steps.  She raced down the final steps and hopped in front of Chad with a bounce.  “Happy Wedding?  Is that what you say?”

“Most people say ‘congratulations’ but that’s to the bride and groom from guests.  I think brides and grooms are supposed to say ‘wow’ and after that, ‘I love you’.”

“I love you,” she whispered.  “I’ve already made a lot of mistakes today.  Don’t need to mess up that one.  Why didn’t you tell me I needed this bouquet?”

Knowing she wouldn’t understand him, Chad leaned down and murmured in her ear, “Why didn’t you tell me I’d need a defibrillator?”

“I don’t know what is?  I can send someone-”

Chuckling, he pulled her closer and whispered, “I’ll explain later.  No worries.  Let’s go greet some guests.”

***

Though unplanned, a receiving line formed near the entrance to the pasture.  Chad and Willow stood with the rest of the Tesdall family and Willow’s grandparents, greeting and introducing everyone.  At first, the guests were restless and awkward not quite sure what to do but Chad noticed and grabbed Willow’s hand.

“Looks like it’s time to have the first dance!  Um, before we do, I want to say a few things.”  He smiled down at Willow.  “Any of you who know Willow, understand why things are so different around here today.  Those who don’t, you will; I promise.  Children, behind the barn over by my truck, we have gunny sack races, spoon races, a huge bucket of bubbles and all sizes of bubble wands.  Enjoy yourself and don’t forget to drink but-” Chad’s voice took on the tone he used with wayward children in town while on the beat.  “Leave the animals alone.  You can look at them, ask an adult to ‘introduce you’ to them, but don’t tease them or we will have you sit with your parents.”

His face split into a huge grin as squeals of joy followed children around the barn to the play area.  “That worked.  Ok, we old folks have about an hour to dance, visit, take a tour of Willow’s farm, whatever you’ll enjoy.  Listen to Lane and Tad of Argosy Junction or meet new friends and catch up with old ones.  We’ll be eating at noon.  For now,  I’m dancin’ with the most beautiful woman here.”

The words of the song washed over them as Chad led her to the dance floor and two stepped around it with Willow resting her head on his chest.

“No other love can warm my heart… Now that I know… the comfort of your arms.  No other love…  Oh the sweet contentment that I find… in you.  Every time… Every time… No other lips… could want you more…”

The floor filled slowly with other dancers.  Around the floor the group spun to the tight harmony of the song.  By the second number, the ‘reception’ came alive.  Laughter and discussion filled the floor and occasional laughter drowned out the singers much to Willow’s irritation.  Marianne and Christopher glanced around the pasture as they danced at all of the guests and their eyes spoke the words in their hearts.  “This day is really here.  Chad is getting married.”

Wes captured each moment of the hour.  Universally recognized as one of the best photojournalists in the country, the skill he used to capture an entire historical event with one powerful shot translated exquisitely into the ability to freeze random moments for future generations to feel as though they were guests.  Somehow, with precision lenses, digital technology, and an impeccable eye for when to capture a moment, Wes’ pictures would show the dawn of a new generation of Tesdalls.

After her third dance, Willow slipped from the tents to the back of the barn, threw the hem of her dress over one arm, allowed Ellie to tie their legs together and raced across the course in a three legged race.  Tavish and Laird beat them by a good length but they were far ahead of the rest of the racers.  Chad climbed into a gunny sack and silently challenged Willow to a race.  The children all stood back on each side of the course and chanted the name of their champion.  The adults followed the sound of the children’s cheers and arrived in time to see Todd drop the flag.

Immediately, the race was neck and neck.  Across the field they hopped,  Willow pulling ahead and then Chad.  A titter rose from a small group near the finish line when Chuck commented dryly to Cheri, “The wedding isn’t even over and they’re already in the sack.”  Half the group missed the finish line when Chuck screeched and bent over clutching his leg compliments of Cheri.

Clueless about the latest “Majors gaffe” Chad lunged across the finish line just a second before Willow dove with every ounce of energy she could muster.  Chad saw her heading for the ground and rolled ensuring she landed on him rather than skidding across the grass.  “You almost got us killed!” he gasped laughing.

“Killed?” Willow panted and forced herself to sit up.

“You nearly turned your dress green!”

Blushing, Willow stepped out of the bag.  Throwing her arms up in the air, Willow declared to the stunned crowd.  “I couldn’t just let him win without trying!”

Promptly at noon, filled plates were served by the caterers.  Pastor Allen called everyone to attention and then requested that the Tesdall’s pastor, Vince Lanzo offer thanks for the meal.  Vince stood, wove through the tables and reached the table where the Tesdalls and Finleys sat together near the greenhouse.

“This is an amazing day.  Let’s pray.”  Vince’s voice grew thick and quavered with repressed emotion. “We want to thank you Lord for this day, this food, and most of all, the reason that we’re here.  Guide our paths to stay in Your ‘narrow way’ and ‘may the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable in Your sight.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Willow and Chad waited for Vince to leave before eating but he urged them to go ahead and eat.  “I have a few words I want to say and I don’t know when I’m going to get to talk!”  Laughter rippled through the crowd once more.  “I’ve known Chad since he was still in elementary school.  My family has watched him grow from a sensitive little boy who just wanted to be like his father to a man who knows his own mind and,” Vince paused smiling down at Willow who was oblivious to his scrutiny, “obviously his own heart.  I remember his summer in The Pit.  He thought he’d failed himself, his church, and especially his Lord.  He never saw the strengthening of his faith during that time but the rest of the church did.  A few years later, Cheri went through the same experience and we all hoped he’d see how much he’d grown through it by seeing her growth but all it did was show the rest of us how deep his new relationship with the Lord was.  He never thought of himself during that time.  His concern was for Cheri.  That was when I knew that he’d be an excellent officer.”

Chad’s face whipped up from his plate where he’d spent several embarrassed moments eating and trying to ignore what felt a little like a eulogy that should have been saved for his funeral when he could no longer hear it.  “I thought you disapproved?  You seemed to try to talk me out of it-”

“I tried to help you solidify your own decision Chad; I never meant you to think I disapproved.”  Vince took a deep breath and continued.  “Through other difficult times in Chad’s life, I watched how he clung to the Lord through his faith.  Chad has a quiet faith.  You won’t find him preaching to people but his life is a sermon.  I wondered what kind of woman he’d marry.  Already I’ve seen in Willow exactly what Chad needs.”

To Willow, Vince gave an apologetic look and shrugged.  “I really didn’t think it was possible that you were good enough for him.  I worried that he was making a mistake and even that maybe he was rushing things.  I was torn between trusting that he knew what he was doing and wanting to beg him to take his time and be sure.  I’m so glad I chose to trust.”

The faint clinking of silverware on dishes were the only sounds audible as Vince struggled.  An emotional man, his congregation was accustomed to these stretches of silence and the tears that often ran freely down his cheeks.  He looked and sounded like a Chicago street fighter and had the tender heart of a child.  “I want to ask everyone here to pray for this couple.  Pray that their hearts and minds would stay fixed on Jesus and committed to one another.  Thank you.”

Chad nudged Willow and gestured for her to watch as Vince reached his wife Lisa’s side.  “They are so in love- so united.  I wish you could know her.”

“Maybe I will.  And maybe,” she added, “You’ll tell me about ‘the pit’.  I am so confused.”

“Someday.  I’ll talk to Vince about it.”

***

Bill sat with Lee Wu saying little and observing much.  The day was harder on him than he’d expected.  When he arrived and saw Willow shaking hand and hugging people ahead of him in line, he’d nearly turned around and returned home.  One look at Chad’s face, however, had changed his mind.  This was a very good thing for Willow and if he cared about her half as much as he thought he did, Bill knew he couldn’t begrudge their happiness.

Lee saw the occasional pain in Bill’s eyes and understood.  The dance floor began to fill again as Lane’s voice called everyone to dance again.  “Would you like to dance?”

She whipped her head toward Bill.  “Are you sure-” That wasn’t a very tactful beginning.  “I’m sorry, you just seemed a little- preoccupied.”

“I am but-”

Frankness seemed the only out for both of them.  “But you’re having a hard time not being the groom today.  Come on, I’d love to dance.”

Willow’s eyes lit up at the sight of them but Lee prayed that Bill wouldn’t see it.  They didn’t speak and the dance wasn’t a waltz leaving Bill unable to do more than rock from foot to foot for most of the dance.  “I don’t know what I was thinking.  I only know how to waltz,” he admitted when the song finally ended.

“You were being thoughtful when you really didn’t feel like it.  That’s commendable not condemnable.”

The curricle dropped Chuck and Cheri off again and waited for the next load, this time three of Aggie’s children climbed aboard.  Willow watched the children excitedly bouncing on the seat and marveling at the beautiful horse and thanked the Lord that she’d found someone to offer the rides.  Chad had seen it as unnecessary and she knew he indulged her only out of indifference himself.

Once the tables were cleared, the caterer called for Willow and Chad to cut their cake.  Everyone toasted the bride and groom, ate their cake, and seemed antsy to get the ceremony rolling.  Cheri pulled Willow aside and whispered, “Let’s get you upstairs, freshen you up, and we can start the procession.”

In the house, Willow laughed as she stared at her reflection in her mirror.  “I am a mess!  How funny.”

“You should be a mess.  Gunny sack races and three legged races?  In that dress?  You’re insane!”

“But it was fun,” Willow protested.  “I thought the point of the wedding was to have fun?”

“If Chad hadn’t ruined his shirt back, your dress would be toast.”

Willow was confused but pulled the pins from her hair, brushed it and then held her head for Cheri’s magic.  A second brush of minerals across her face gave her a fresh look.  “It’s amazing how different I look with that stuff.”

***

Aggie’s girls raced ahead of the group scattering hundreds of daisy heads and lilac flowerets across the path to Kari’s grave.  Cheri, carrying a bouquet she hadn’t expected after the morning’s scene, strolled along ahead of the girls on Christopher’s arm.  David Finley took Willow’s arm but stopped before he took the first step.

“Are you sure?  Why don’t I get the guy with the horse- you’re going to ruin your dress…”

Willow glanced up into the face of her grandfather and saw behind the emotion in his eyes, how difficult this day was for him.  His daughter had never married, he’d never walked her down the aisle.  “Chad?”

He was closer than she expected.  His voice answered near her ear, “Yes?”

She whirled and smiled up at him.  “How strong do you think you are?”

Without answering, Chad lifted her and carried her for twenty or thirty feet.  “Well, I’m about that strong,” he gasped setting her down for a moment.  “However,” he continued in a strained voice as he lifted her once more and threw her over one shoulder, “I’m fairly certain I can get you there this way.”

Their guests laughed at the comical expressions she made as he crossed the pasture and then set her down at the foot of her mother’s grave.  “Just a few more minutes,” he whispered for her ears only.

Pastor Allen stood and called the unusual ‘congregation’ to attention.  “I’ve never attended a wedding at a gravesite.  A few people told me they thought it was morbid and one dear friend even expressed concern that it was evidence that Willow wasn’t ready for this step in her life.”  Tom’s eyes met many in the group standing all around the bride and groom.  “I disagreed.  Anyone who knows Willow, knows how close she was with her mother.  They know how unusual the relationship was and what an unusual perspective our Willow has on life.  What seems odd to most, is perfect for her.”

Chad’s arm slipped around her shoulders as Willow impatiently brushed aside rogue tears and Pastor Allen continued.  “Willow wanted to feel nearer to her mother today.  She knows that her mother isn’t down beneath our feet but we humans seem to feel closer to those we’ve lost when we are near where their ‘temple’ is buried.

“So, for those who are confused or uncomfortable, remember how it was to have your parents or those closest to you from your childhood at your wedding and extend a little grace to our sister.  I for one, think this has been a wonderful day and definitely a wonderful beginning to their new life.”

From the back of the group, Lane and Tad Argosy watched for the sign from Tom and led the guests in singing, O Perfect Love.  Willow, unsure the best hymn to pick, had left the choice with Marianne unaware that her new mother would choose a song that she’d never heard.  Her eyes spanned the singers listening carefully until they met Chad’s as he sang the final line of the first verse.

“… whom Thou forevermore dost join as one.”

As the song ended, Pastor Allen wiped tears from his own eyes and remarked, “I’ve been around Vince too much today.  He’s rubbing off.”  Tom cleared his throat and added, “Now I need to make a final comment before we pray and then finally tie this knot!  After the exchange of rings, I’m going to pray, we’ll excuse Chad and Willow who will meet you at their front porch to say goodbye.  Please don’t go straight to your car.  They have a gift for you and would like to thank you for coming individually.  Let’s pray.”

The next few minutes passed for Willow in a golden fog that she later remembered perfectly as though an observer rather than a participant.  Chad’s vows were made in his low and earnest tones sending tears down his mother’s face.  Willow spoke quietly but confidently as she promised to trust the Lord and her husband in the years to come.

To everyone’s delighted surprise, the kiss came with no embarrassment, no attempts at concealment, and though applause at weddings wasn’t the custom at Fairbury Community Church, no one could resist when Chad picked up his bride, spun her in a circle still kissing her excitedly.  His first words, before Pastor Allen could even introduce them as Mr. and Mrs. Chadwick Elliot Tesdall were, “I can’t believe it!  She’s actually mine!”

***

They sat in the porch swing and watched amused as people gathered around the improvised ‘gate’ to the pasture and waited for Matt and Todd to bring their cars.  Chad toyed with her single tendril and sighed contentedly.  “That was a wonderful day.”

“The day isn’t over yet.  It’s not even three o’clock yet.”

Something in her voice touched him.  “Happy?”

“Definitely.  You?”

The swing creaked as he shifted and turned her face toward his.  “Never doubt it.”

A slow smile grew as she watched him.  “Your mother is right.”

“How’s that.”

“You are a sap.”

“Me,” Chad protested.  “That is a definite pot calling the kettle black.”

“I’m not a sap.”

“No,” he conceded.  “But my mother is and you will be.”

She didn’t answer.  She curled against his chest and rested her head in the crook of his arm.  After shifting twice, she sighed and sat upright again.  “Dumb hair.”

“Get it down then.  I’m amazed that you’ve put up with it this long.”

“Well,” she hedged.  “I know Wes is still around taking pictures…”

“So he gets pictures of you with your hair down.  Who cares?”

That’s all she needed to hear.  Willow wanted nothing more than to be herself, toss the hair, and relax but she’d already bucked enough traditions that she wasn’t willing to risk hurting anymore people with her unconventionalities.  In just a few quick movements, she pulled a dozen pins from her head and shook out her hair.

“I need a brush.  I’ll never get it braided with these curls.”

“Leave it then.  Who needs a braid?”

Willow shook her head emphatically and started to braid her hair, sloppily but efficiently.  “It’ll be a rat’s nest in no time if I don’t.”

Chad’s hands captured both of hers and held them in one hand while the other untwisted the plaits.  “Then it’s a rat’s nest.  I like it like it is.”

“Do I have to change too?”

“Do you want to?”

“No way!”  Willow loved how she felt in her dress.  The cool layers, the yards of fabric swishing around her feet- it all made her feel feminine and beautiful.  She didn’t want it to end.  “I love wearing this dress.  I may put it on now and then for the fun of it.”

Suddenly, before Chad could respond, Willow sat up.  “I have to do something.  Be right back.”

“Want some help?”

“I’m good, but thanks.”  Just inside the door, she peeked her head out again.  “Want some lemonade when I come back?”

Chad removed his tie, unbuttoned his top shirt button, and removed his suit jacket.  Lemonade.  Things were already back to normal.

Chapter 101~

The Tesdalls spent Friday morning and early afternoon in town so Chad could sleep in peace.  While he slept, Willow took her phone, his phone, and her baskets and boxes to the greenhouse to pick greens and tomatoes for the caterer.  She gently layered tomatoes, laid damp towels between rows of lettuce in boxes, and cut spinach.  Jill would be disappointed but at least her guests would eat well.

She heard a vehicle in the driveway but didn’t pay any attention.  It’d be the Tesdalls returning from town.  However, a gentle knock and Adric Garrison’s voice startled her seconds later.  “Willow?  Do you have a minute?”

“Come on in!  I’m just picking produce for the caterer.”

“I almost didn’t stop- I mean, I know you’re busy but I have a bit of  problem.”  There was a tense undertone to Adric’s voice that hadn’t been there the previous morning.

“Oh no, I’ve got a free afternoon.  I have things to do later this evening and in the morning but right now, I’m just passing the time until Chad gets up.  He got off at six this morning so he’s sleeping now.”

“Well, then I’ll just come out with my dilemma then.  I called Renee Freeman in town about how to find out how I can divvy up my property.  I know that there are laws about that sometimes, and she got all excited because apparently she knows the man across the highway and he’d tried to buy from my grandmother for years.”

“So,” she concluded dejectedly.  “You’re here to withdraw your offer.”

“No!”  Adric’s face flushed.  It looked strange to her against his silvery gray hair.  “I told Renee not to mention it to him at all.  I don’t want it getting out now because if you want the property, I just want to have a quiet sale between us that no one finds out about unless they publish that kind of thing?”

“I don’t know but you know, my money isn’t listed in my name.  If we buy it, it’ll be sold under that name so no one will know who bought it even if it is published.”

Pleased, Adric smiled.  “I have a call from Bill at the office.  He offered a price I think sounds excellent for both of us so I’ll ask Renee to draw up papers for me.”

Willow’s face showed agitation.  “I- well- How long have you done business with Renee?”

“Never before today.  Granny did.  Her will was filed with Renee and I talked to her through the probate and trust exchanges but-”

“Well, she’s my lawyer too.  I don’t know if she can represent both of us.”  Before Adric could respond Willow shook her head.  “I’m being ridiculous.  Bill will know a good real estate lawyer to handle the sale and then we can turn everything over to Renee after it’s all done.”

“Do we need a realtor?”

“I don’t see why.  Mother used to say that people were fools to buy property without a lawyer so who needs a realtor if you know who is selling and buying?”  She glanced out the greenhouse windows looking for Adric’s car.  “Where is Rebecca?”

“I came by on my lunch break.  She’s at the house probably bored stiff.  There isn’t much for her to do at my place.”

Eagerly, Willow suggested that he urge her to visit.  “She can help me with the garden, animals, and things like that.  It’ll be fun.”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not!  Just have her call so if we’re gone she doesn’t waste the walk.”

This amused Adric.  Of course Willow Finley would assume that someone would just cross property.  The fact that it’d take half an hour or more would never cross her mind.

“I really appreciate it.  The other women- they had things they did- work, hobbies, came to work with me even but Rebecca seems a little lost or something.”

“Do you mind if I ask a personal question?”  The opportunity was too great to ignore it.  At Adric’s encouragement, she asked him about his situation.  “Are you glad you’re doing this?”

“Usually.  Month three I would have said no.”  Adric leaned against a nearby worktable, his arms crossed, and observed Willow as they talked.

She continued with her picking, cutting, and replanting.  “Mind if I ask what happened?”

“She was more concerned with winning the ‘contest’ than winning me.  I was glad when she left a little early.”

In a moment of insight, Willow brushed off her hands and briefly hugged Adric.  “You’re very alone in this, aren’t you?  I mean, I know Pastor Allen and Lily are family but they have to be neutral.  It’s like asking Switzerland for help in choosing allies.  They can’t or their neutrality is in question.”

“I am very alone and yet, I have the Lord, a few friends, and truly, in a pinch Lily would definitely be there for me.”

For several more minutes, they talked about his hopes and dreams, her life on the farm, and how successful each thought Adric’s search for a wife would be.  It was a casual and comfortable exchange that left Adric sorry that he hadn’t met Willow earlier.  Much earlier.  It also encouraged him to realize that he hadn’t been wrong to continue.  Until someone intrigued him as much as Christine and Willow did, he needed to keep searching.

She walked him to his car talking and encouraging him.  He rolled the window down and thanked her for encouraging him.  “Thanks- not just for buying my property, but for talking to me.  I wish I had met someone like you a long time ago.”

“You have friends here.  Come anytime.  Even if it’s just because you need a break from the strain of constant ‘get-to-know-you-it is’.  It must be wearying.”  She laid her hand on his arm.  “I’ll be praying.”

Adric turned around and drove down the driveway watching her from his rearview mirror.  He sighed.  “Wow.”

***

Chad stirred.  One glance out the window told him it had to be around noon.  The only sounds in the house were those that floated in through open windows.  Willow must have been on one of her ‘fresh air’ kicks.  Even in the dead of winter he’d arrive midday to find a window open in one room or another to ‘air it out.’

He stood, stretched, and glanced out the window.  Another thought occurred to him.  In a few weeks or months he could be sleeping in that room.  Which side of the bed would he get?  Feeling foolish but curious, Chad climbed back into bed and crawled out the other side glancing out that window.  This time, he noticed Adric’s car in the driveway.

He dressed quickly.  Maybe Adric already had a price on the land.  That’d be nice; Willow wanted it and as much as it rankled that he couldn’t get it for her, she could afford it.  This was going to be good- long term anyway.

In the kitchen, he found a sandwich in the ice box and a glass of lemonade.  Grabbing both, he stepped onto the porch.  Willow and Adric were in earnest conversation in the greenhouse.  Chad chewed slowly and watched as Adric leaned against a shelf and crossed his arms.  This was turning out to be a long conversation.

When Willow wiped her hands on her work apron and hugged Adric, Chad guzzled his lemonade, shoved his hands in his pockets, and leaned wearily against the post.  Irrational thoughts of bursting into the greenhouse and ordering Adric from their property tried to force their way into his mind; only sheer willpower kept him from losing all control.

As he saw them leaving the greenhouse, Chad slipped back into the house and watched from the window.  The earnest look in Adric’s eyes, Willow’s hand on Adric’s arm, and the way she stood waving as he drove down the driveway nearly drove him insane.  He debated going back upstairs or to the kitchen and finally chose the kitchen.

As he waited to see if she returned to the house or the greenhouse, he thought about his reaction.  He knew he was feeling ridiculously possessive.  There was no excuse for some of the thoughts that were trying desperately to take up residence in his heart, and yet, they were and denial wouldn’t change that fact.

The screen door opened with a squeak.  It’d be squeak free in less than a minute or he’d eat his badge.  “Chad!  You’re up!  You just missed Adric.”

Unaware that she amused her still agitated fiancée, Willow reached into a box just inside the pantry door and pulled out a can of WD-40.  “Forty-five seconds,” he thought to himself as she replaced the can and shut the door.  “What did Adric have to say?”  Chad winced.  He knew his voice sounded odd.

“What’s wrong?”

The temptation to blame it on nerves, fatigue, or even her money was tempting but Chad knew he needed to be honest.  “Well, actually, I saw he was here when I got up.”

“Why didn’t you come out and talk to us?”  Willow quickly washed his plate and glass as they talked standing each in the dish drainer as she finished.

“I think Shakespeare called it a green monster.”

“Green-eyed monster is jealousy. Othello.”  She glanced at him curiously.  ”You were jealous?  Of what?”

Hands stuffed in his pockets, Chad mumbled something but she didn’t hear what it was.  Willow did know, however, that no matter how irrational he seemed to her, brushing him off was not going to solve anything.  She slipped her arms around his waist and clasped her hands together around his back, pressing her cheek against his chest.

“Adric Garrison is a fine man.  I think he’ll make some woman very happy.”

“But not you.”  The words were not as confident sounding as they might have been just two days earlier.

“Definitely not me.  I don’t think there is a man alive that I trust like I know I can trust you.  I wouldn’t feel safe.”

Chad’s hands toyed with her braid as a sigh of relief escaped.  “It’s crazy I know, but I needed to hear that.  I just realized that I haven’t seen you with any man since we got engaged.  I think I panicked seeing you hug another man.”

“Well, then I won’t,” she murmured into his shirt.  “Not if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Gravel crunching and car doors heralded the return of the Tesdalls and Todd.  “Let’s go make plans for tonight so they’ll leave you and your calmness alone.”

“I have to finish up the stuff for the caterer and then call.  The clipboard is on the table.  Assign jobs and everything should work.”

As the kitchen flooded with chattering family, Willow kissed his cheek and slipped out the back door.  In the greenhouse, Willow watched as Chad directed his family and Todd to set up tables and chairs, direct the moving of animals, and everything else on Willow’s carefully planned lists.  Everything was going as planned, and now that everyone was busy, they didn’t seem to have time to become overly concerned with her calm demeanor.

Finished, she dialed Maitre ‘d to arrange for them to pick up the vegetables.  “They’re boxed and ready to go.  You can get them-” she hesitated as she saw Cheri ordering Todd from her work decorating the porch.  “Hey, to save you time, why don’t I send someone to meet you at that little park place between Fairbury and Rockland?”

“The Rest Stop?”

“Yes.  Exactly.  His name is Todd, he’ll be driving a green pick up truck.  He’ll be there in however long it takes someone to drive there from here but don’t hurry.  Please.”  Willow’s voice took on an edge of desperation.

“Got family causing trouble?”

“Something like that.  I’ll send him right out but please, just go when it’s convenient.  I’ll remind him about Rockland traffic and all.”

Willow grabbed the first box and carried it to Chad’s truck.  Seeing her carrying boxes, Cad left the table and chair brigade and met her in the greenhouse.  “I thought they were coming to get them?”

“I decided to send Todd to meet them at the rest stop.  It’ll give Cheri a break.”  Chad’s laughter annoyed her.  “You might tell him that he’s not ten anymore.  He’ll have a better shot of being her friend if he quits treating her like a likeable pest.”

Work went much more smoothly with Todd gone.  Torn between seeing what Chad saw in his friend and understanding Cheri’s utter dislike, she spent the afternoon working, laughing, and planning ways to get both people to look beyond themselves and encourage the other person.  By dinner time she was famished.

“What do you want to do for dinner?”  Marianne was excited.  Finally Willow forgot something!  “We can order pizza or if you think we have time, we could go into town to a restaurant-”

“Oh, I have a container of chili.  I was just going to heat it up and have bread with it.”

“Argh!  How about we do something spontaneous- just because we can.  Ok?”

“Um, mom?”  Chad’s voice was a little cold.  “Why is it a crime for her to be prepared?  If she was sitting around drinking lemonade and filing her nails you’d be going nuts.”

“I know.  I’m sorry.  It’s just so unnatural!”  Marianne smiled at Willow apologetically.  “I am used to seeing brides flipping out because they forgot to buy nylons or the marriage license is lost.”

“We need a marriage license?”  Willow’s face was horrified.  “We need to get permission to get married!  Chad!”  Willow turned a stunned and angry face toward him.  “Why didn’t you tell me!  I can’t believe this.  This is insane.  I quit.  Have this wedding but have it without me!”

She turned slowly to face the stunned group of Tesdalls and grinned.  “There.  Was that panicked and stressed enough for you?”

“Oh you are going to get it for that!”  Cheri reached for the hose. “Dad turn it on.”

“Nothing doing.  I have to share a bed with your mother tonight and by the look on her face, it won’t be pretty if I do.”

“Coward.”

Christopher nodded sagely. “That I am.  When it comes to pranks in the dark, I’m terrified.  Last time I crossed your mother, she poured warm water over me while I was sleeping.  I woke up mortified.”  He shook his head.  “I must be nervous.  I can’t believe I just admitted that.”

“Ok, so dinner,” Marianne continued still laughing at Willow and her husband.

“I want to take everyone out to dinner,” Christopher insisted.  I haven’t gotten to do much for this wedding and this is something I can do.”Willow nodded.  “Can we drop chili off at the Allens then?  There is no way Chad and I are going to spend every day next week trying to eat up that chili.”

***

Night fell, and Willow, pushing the garden cart, walked along the drive, and set mason jars tied with yellow ribbons at the top of every fence post.  She’d fill them with cut flowers after she milked Ditto the next morning.  Chad, after sending the chickens to bed and giving the animals more water, hurried to help her.

“One more night and we’re finished.”

Laughter rang out across her pastures.  “What a flattering picture of marriage,” Willow teased.

“You know what I meant.”  He looked down the highway.  “I wonder what is taking Todd so long.”

“Well, I told him they might not be there.  He probably had to wait.”

“You told them to take their time so he’d be away for a few hours.”  The words were almost an accusation.

“Yes.  And tonight, while you guys are supposed to be sleeping, you can give him hints on how to treat the younger sisters of best friends.”

Headlights appeared around the bend.  Chad’s truck turned into the driveway and sped toward them sending dust everywhere.  “Oh ugh!”  Willow was not impressed.

“Hey guys!  What’d I miss.”

“Lessons on how to drive for starters,” Chad began.

“Um yeah.  About that…”  Todd shuffled his feet awkwardly.  “I um, wasn’t paying attention to speed as I drove through town and a chick cop ticketed me.  She sent you a message.”

“You got a ticket in my truck!”

“That’s kind of the message.  She said, ‘tell him I suggest he reconsider who he allows to drive his vehicles through town!’  I think she was ticked.”

“Y- T- I cannot believe you did that!  Children play in the streets in the evening Todd!  There are speed limits for a reason!”  Chad’s anger surprised both Todd and Willow.

“Sorry man, I just wasn’t paying attention.  I didn’t want to miss any more of the fun.”

“Well you’re going to.  We’re leaving.”  Without another word, Chad hugged Willow, jumped in his truck, pointed to Todd’s rental car, and said, “Follow me.  And I do mean, follow.  As in, drive like I drive.  At the same speed.  Watching for who you might kill in the process.”

Willow waved as they drove away knowing there was more to the story than she knew but eventually he’d share.  Meanwhile, she finished her job and pulled the cart back to the barn.

***

The house was silent.  From her mother’s room, Christopher snored almost exactly as Chad did on nights he slept in there.  Cheri hadn’t moved in hours.  The moon shone brightly through her window and yet Willow lay awake refreshed just by lying down and relaxing.  She new it must be nearly two in the morning.

Throwing the covers back, she slipped on her flip-flop slippers, found her summer robe, and tied it securely around her waist.  As quietly as possible, Willow tip-toed downstairs, out the front door, around the barn, and across the pasture to her mother’s grave.  In just a few hours, big sprays of lilacs would cover those headstones.

She leaned her back against Othello’s headstone, wrapped her arms around her knees, and pulled them to her chest.  “Lord, I keep wondering what Mother would do or say if she were here now.  Would she like Chad?  Would she be willing to have a man move into our home?  Would I have had to leave this place?  Is this why you took her from me?  Did she have to go in order for Your will to prevail?”

Her words were hardly a whisper.  The damp grass beneath her was strangely comfortable.  She remembered other nights sitting in the grass under the tree near the house.

“Mother, why can’t I sleep?”

“Because sometimes your body forgets what to do to refresh you.” Kari didn’t know how to answer the question and hoped her inquisitive daughter would be satisfied with the answer.

“I like the moon.”  Willow’s childish voice held that special trace of awe that only children seem to experience.

“I do too.  It’s almost like God’s nightlight.”

“What’s a nightlight?”  At nine, Willow had never heard of such a thing.

“Well, people who have electricity in their homes are used to light to help them see everything so sometimes they put tiny lights in bathrooms or hallways so that they can see where they’re going to find the light switch.”

“Oh.  Don’t their hands know where to find it?  I think my hands know where to find ours and we never use them.”

Kari’s hands rubbed the chill from Willow’s.  “I think it’s just a comfort thing.  Some children are afraid of the dark so they use nightlights to show the child there is nothing to be afraid of.”

“Why are the children afraid?  Dark is when I can best feel God.  It’s when I can ‘be still.’”

All the times that Kari doubted were washed away in moments like this.  “I think maybe some of the children don’t know about God and how comforting He is.  I don’t know about the other children.  Maybe they find God best in the light.”

“Oh.”

Cicadas sang, a nearby toad croaked, and the leaves above them rustled.  “Mother?”

“Hmm?”

“I never want to leave and live were I might forget to hear God in the stillness and the darkness.”

Throat swollen with fear and emotion, Kari tried to speak truth rather than the terror in her heart.  “Someday you might not think that Willow girl.  Someday, you may decide you want a different life than I chose.  You may want to have friends, get married, and have children.”

“But then I wouldn’t see you.  You don’t want people here.”

With a sigh, Kari forced down her rising panic.  “You’re right.  I don’t.  But you could live nearby and visit often.”

Small arms wrapped around her and gangly legs crawled into her lap.  A sweet, clear, confident voice insisted, “If you don’t want people, then it will stay just you and me. We’re happy.  I’ll always be happy as long as I have you.”

Willow sighed.  She’d been so unhappy when her mother died.  She remembered the ache that nearly suffocated her so many mornings.  She remembered feeling like she was floundering with every change in her life.  Missing her mother wasn’t something Willow ever expected to go away.  She knew that there was a part of her heart that only Mother could fill but she was grateful that the Lord had brought friends who would tomorrow become family to fill the rest of the emptiness.

Her thoughts turned to Chad.  Sometime before tomorrow evening, she’d stand here and promise to trust him.  The fear those words once enveloped her in was gone.  Uncertainty crept in at times but for the most part, Willow felt a soothing sense of confidence when she thought of a life with Chad.

The memory of nightmares and his comforting arms around her bolstered her nerves until she remembered the occasional unexpected twisting in her stomach at his touch.  Was he right?  Was fear not the cause?

“I love him Lord.  I don’t know what ‘in love’ means really.  People talk about it and books expound on it like it is some mystery that reveals itself to you.  Well, I don’t feel very enlightened so I doubt I am but-”  She hesitated.  Praying for something so unfamiliar was a terrifying proposition but Marianne’s flashing eyes at Willow’s foolish ideas, her gentle expression as she assured Willow that love was worth it, and Chad’s assertion that things would be as wonderful as they allowed them to be spurred her onward.  “-please teach me to love him as he should be loved.  Please eradicate my fears and give us whatever we need to develop a relationship like Marianne and Christopher’s.  Chad deserves no less.”

She stood, brushed off the wet grass from her robe, and started back toward the house.  “Oh, and Lord, please let him like his gift. I can’t forget to wrap it in the morning.”

Chapter 100~

Warning:  Mush alert.  Bleh

A strange car crept over the driveway Thursday morning.  Chad, outside tying a scraper to his truck bumper, recognized Adric Garrison’s Shelby Mustang and waved.  Adric helped a pleasant looking strawberry blonde from the passenger seat and then led her to Chad’s truck.  “Chad.  I came to talk to you and Willow about something.  This is Rebecca Jacobs.”

“Rebecca.  Nice to meet you.  Are you both coming Saturday?”

Rebecca and Adric exchanged glances.  Finally, Adric shrugged.  “We hadn’t planned to- I mean, I know the church was invited but I didn’t want to presume-”

“Well, we hope you’ll change your mind.  Come on in, I’ll find Willow.”

While Adric and his companion made small talk with Marianne and Christopher, Chad went upstairs to find Willow.  He paused in front of her door hesitantly.  Her door was never closed.  Finally, he knocked.  “Willow?”

“Oh, come in.”  As Chad entered, he saw Willow wrapping four boxes on her bed.  “I was just wrapping gifts for your parents and my grandparents.”

“Why presents for them?”

“Well, I got gifts for Christopher and Cheri, why not your parents?  They’ve done so much for this day and my grandfather is going to do the walking thing and I just thought-”

Chad tugged on her arm.  “Well, can you leave them for a minute, Adric is here.”

“Adric…” she thought for a moment and then smiled.  “The girl-of-the-month-club man?”

Barely stifling a guffaw, Chad nodded.  “He wanted to talk to us.”

“Why not just do it at the wedding?”

“He wasn’t coming but he is now.  I think he wasn’t sure if Rebecca was invited.”

Willow stopped at the top of the stairs.  “Rebecca?  Is she Miss May?”

“Yep.”

Before she took another step, Willow looked up at Chad with sorrowful eyes.  “Do you think this is worth it?  Is finding the right woman worth all he’s going through?”

“‘He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.’  Why wouldn’t it be worth it if the Word says it is?”

Marianne started upstairs to hurry Chad and Willow along but seeing Chad kissing his fiancée apparently oblivious to anything around him sent her hurrying back downstairs with a blinding grin on her face.  “They’ll be down in a minute.  Why don’t I find something for you to drink?”

“We’re fine Mrs. Tesdall.”

Christopher, anxious to see what had set his wife glowing, suggested that he show the couple around the farm while they waited.  “I’ll be right behind you.  I just have to ask my wife about something.”  The second the couple stepped off of the porch, Christopher threw up his hands. “What is it woman!”

“They’re kissing!  Right upstairs!  Really, truly kissing.  It was so cute.”

A slow smile spread over his face.  “As in making out or just kissing.”

“Oh you are bad.  I’m thankful for anything.  Get out there.”

***

“So how many acres do you have and how many do you want?”

“I want to keep around ten I think.  That leaves over one hundred acres- I can’t remember.  I thought we had one-sixty but my sister thought it was one-twenty so we have to get out the deeds.  Before I go to a realtor, I wanted to talk to you.”

“Why me?”

Adric shrugged.  “Christine, from February, she thought that the people closest to the property might like first chance at it.  Since you and Chad were from church I thought I’d come to you first.”

Chad interjected before Willow got too interested.  “And you don’t have a price in mind yet?”

“I have no idea what land around here sells for but I’d want to be sure it was a fair price for both of us.”

Willow smiled brightly and offered Adric her hand.  “I want to talk to my financial guy about it and then I’ll call you back.  Maybe you and he can talk about it on Saturday.”

As they watched Adric and Rebecca drive away, Willow nearly bounced.  “I could triple crops!  I’d own the stone table!  We could have more animals- even a horse for you.  Didn’t you once say you liked horses?”  Her eyes grew wide.  “Hunting!  There’d be even more room for hunting!”

“You really want to do it?”

“If Bill thinks it’s a good idea, why not?”

This side of Willow, Chad found incomprehensible.  Her drive to work, more and more, drove him nearly insane and yet he loved it.  Her enthusiasm for life was infectious even if impossible to fathom at times.  “Tell Bill you want the land.  He’ll be sure to get it for you at a reasonable cost.”

“But I don’t want it at Adric’s expense.  He needs a reasonable price or his inheritance will be wasted.”

“You’re a good woman Willow,” he sighed.  “A lousy business person perhaps, but a good woman.”

She whirled, pointed at the large letters emblazoned across her chest, and grinned.  “You can flatter all you like but it won’t do you any good.  I’m TAKEN.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

A sigh escaped before she could stop it.  “I guess I’d better get back to wrapping.”

“Why the sigh, lass?”

Something about his tone of voice nearly sent her over an emotional cliff.  “I just want it over.”

Chad wrapped comforting arms around her.  “You’re not enjoying yourself?”

“Not really.  I would be if everyone didn’t expect me to be a nervous wreck.  It’s making me crazy how they keep wanting me to go crazy.”  Choking back tears, she added.  “And I hardly get to spend time with you.  I’m near you all right but rarely with you.  It’s like we’re companionable strangers.  I hate it.”

“I think that’ll change now.”

“Really?”  Even with the skeptical tone in her voice, she perked up slightly.  “Why?”

“Mom caught us at the top of the stairs.  The look on her face says she’ll leave us alone to make out anytime we even hint at it.”

A deep blush stole across her cheeks.  “Oh my!”

“You ashamed of your unseemly behavior?”

“I am not unseemly!” she protested hotly.  “I can’t- oh you’re infuriating.”

“And you like me that way.”

Willow ran her hand along his jaw and then shivered.  Chad’s eyes grew concerned and he caught her hand in his.  “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know how to explain it.”  Her voice was nearly a wail.  “Sometimes it seems like I need to be close to you and then when I am, I’m terrified.”

He led her up the drive talking quietly an trying to soothe her jumbled spirit.  “What are you afraid of, lass?”

“I don’t know.  You’d think it’d make me push you farther away but it doesn’t.”

“Well I’m glad of that!”

Her next words were illuminating, however.  “I just don’t understand how I can desire that closeness so much and then when I have it, feel so- so scared.  My stomach clenches and sometimes,” she blushed and hoped he wouldn’t feel badly, “I even feel weak like when you kiss me.”

The familiar deep rumbling chuckle surprised her.  “Lass, that’s not fear.”

“Feels just like I do when someone startles me or like when I saw that man in my house!”

“But you don’t want it to go away like you do with those things.”

Wide eyes flew to meet his.  Willow was astounded that he’d guessed what bothered her most of all.  “How did you know that!”

“It’s not fear but it is encouraging to me anyway.”

“I just don’t understand.”

Chad wrapped an arm around her waist and steered her homeward.  “You will.  Sooner than I thought it seems.  I think it’s time I quit handling you with kid gloves.”

“Do what?”

With a quick kiss witnessed by Cheri, Christopher, Marianne, and Chuck as he turned into the driveway, Chad crawled inside his truck and waved her into the house.  “I’ve got work to do.  We don’t want to be responsible for ruining everyone’s shocks.”

Willow turned a stunned face to her future in-laws.  “We’re shocking what?”

“Oh, we’re shocked all right,” Cheri remarked dryly while crossing her arms.

***

A voice outside brought a mixed reaction from everyone in the kitchen.  Willow, slicing bread in the kitchen, watched confused as Chad raced out the door, Cheri groaned, and Christopher and Marianne smiled indulgently as they chuckled.  “What?”

Before anyone could answer, Chad’s voice shouted, almost as angry, “Todd you old dog!”  Concerned, Willow raced to the living room window, the bread knife still in her hand, and stared as Chad tackled a man in her front yard.

“Should we be alarmed?”

“It’s just the pest,” Cheri said disgustedly. “I’m going to go wash up.”

“What- Oh, Todd.  Is that Chad’s friend?”

Marianne nodded.  Watching the ‘boys’ wrestling on the lawn as they’d done years ago in grade school, warmed her heart. “They’ve always been like that.”

“Why doesn’t Cheri like him?”

“Well,” Marianne explained gesturing toward the kitchen, “For years she was the pesky little sister and then sometime around the time she turned fourteen she was the cute perky little teen.  By the time Todd realized that she was a girl, Cheri could barely tolerate him. She’s been a little unforgiving but since he really did terrorize her as a kid, we haven’t pushed.”

“I don’t think I like children,” Willow muttered under her breath.  “They’re cruel.”

Marianne hugged her briefly.  “You will.  And I think you’ll work harder than I did to teach them differently.  When my kids were small, people kept saying, ‘They’re kids, they’ll grow out of it’ or ‘boys will be boys’.  I didn’t know how to work on their hearts.  You will.”

Chad burst through the door calling for her.  Willow shrugged and handed Marianne the knife.  “It’s not like he doesn’t know where I am.”

“He wants to show you off.”  Marianne brushed a stray hair out of Willow’s face and smiled.  “Go hang on Chad a bit.  It’ll make him feel wonderful.”

Taking Marianne’s cue, Willow entered the living room wiping her hands on her apron and smiling.  “You rang?”

Chad’s arm slid possessively around her.  “This is my Willow.  Willow, this is Todd.  I told you about him.”

She extended her hand to Todd but smiled up at Chad before welcoming him.  “I’m very happy to meet you Todd.”

“Wow, Chad.”  Todd fumbled over himself for a moment.  “I just- wow.  Nice to meet you too Willow.  Sorry I- wow.”

“I get that a lot.”  She looked confused.  “I’m not sure why-”

Todd arched an eyebrow.  “Well, I’d volunteer to explain it but I think Chad’d try to pummel me and then I’d have to defend myself and who needs a black eye on your wedding?”

With a tone of utter incredulity, Willow remarked, “You either severely underestimate Chad or you have a higher opinion of yourself than you ought.”

She kissed Chad’s cheek and went back to the kitchen shaking her head.  As she took the knife back from Marianne, she groaned.  “I think Cheri has the right idea.”

Christopher’s guffaws brought the men in and Cheri down from upstairs.  “What is going on in here?”

“I just said that I thought you had a point regarding Todd and your father went nuts.”

As soon as she said it, Willow clamped he hand over her mouth and stared in horror first at Chad and then at Todd.  “I still haven’t gotten used to keeping what’s in my head out of my mouth.  I was rude.  Please forgive me.”

The last few words were drowned out by the uproarious laughter in the room.  Todd shook his head, tears of laughter running down his cheeks.  “No harm, no foul.  I deserved it.”  He pounded Chad’s back and said, “Man, you got yourself a live wire.  I love her already!”

Tires crunched on the driveway again before anyone could reply.  Chad glanced out the window and saw an unfamiliar mini van.  “Anyone expecting a silver Town and Country?”  When no one acknowledged the question he hurried down the steps and out the front door.  Seconds later, he called for Willow.

At the bottom of the porch steps, Chad shook hands with a woman who seemed near Willow’s age, and two men.  “Lass, this is Lane and Tad Argosy and their friend Matt Rushby.  Matt is from Rockland.”

“Happy to meet you!  Come on in, we’re about to have soup and sandwiches for dinner.  You’re just in time.”

Lane’s hands flew up defensively.  “Oh no, we didn’t come to intrude.  We just wanted to see what we’d need for tomorrow.  We’ve found that sometimes we need battery packs for mics and stuff.”

Chad ushered them into the house.  “Nonsense.  You’re here, we have food.  Come in, we’ll get you a bowl and plate and then after dinner, we’ll show you around.”

***

“Over in that pasture are my sheep and the beef cow.  I’m going to be buying more property in the next few months so I’ll probably have more sheep then but nothing like you I’m sure.”  Willow chatted amiably with Lane and Matt as they wandered the farm showing off the garden, greenhouse, and animals.

At the mention of a border collie, Lane went into rhapsodies.  “Our border is the sweetest girl.  You’ll love them.  Boozer races-”

“Boozer?”

“Long story,” Lane assured her.  “Anyway, you won’t be sorry.  So how long have you lived here?”

“I was born here.”  Willow pointed at the window to her mother’s bedroom.  “Right in that room in a thunderstorm.”

“Wow.  I didn’t know people outside the Brethren did that anymore”

“The Brethren?”

“The church group we were a part of years ago.  I don’t like to talk about it but not having someone other than your spouse seeing your nether regions other than in life-saving occasions became one of the ‘rules’.  There were lots of rules.”

Willow shrugged.  “I think Mother would have preferred to have someone with her.”

Lane glanced around the yard taking in the chicken, the garden, barn, and fields.  “I didn’t realize places like this existed around Rockland.  It’s like being home.”

“She’s used to big sky and lots of land.  Rockland is too cramped for her style.”  It was the first time Matt had spoken; Willow had almost forgotten he was there.

The back door banged open and Cheri hurried out to walk with them.  “So Matt, how do you like Willow’s place?  I still can’t believe you know the Argosy’s.”

“You know Matt, Cheri?”

“Where’ve you been Willow?  We talked about Matt from my church all through dinner.”

“Maybe,” Lane commented dryly, “It had something to do with answering four phone calls, keeping everyone in food, and attempting to eat her own meal.”

“That might do it.”

“So, how does it look?”  Matt’s question was directed to Lane as she watched Tad and Chad discussing placement of a comfortable spot to sing.

“I think they’re being silly.  All we need is one corner of that porch out of the way of the door.  We’re background music and dancing music, we’re not ‘performing’.”

Willow whistled for Chad and beckoned him.  “I should have called to ask.  I could have saved you a trip but I think I’m glad I didn’t.  It’s been nice to meet you.”

“What do you need lass?”

“Lane suggested we give her the north end of the back porch.  They’ll be shaded, comfortable, and out of the path of marauding stampedes who want nothing but more food or a trip to the bathroom.”

“Weren’t you-”

“I think it’s the best place.  I love it.  Will you see what Tad thinks of it?”

Matt and Lane watched as words flashed between the couple unspoken and their eyes met.  They understood that kind of silent communication.  Each look, each hand gesture- all spoke volumes without benefit of vocal cords or even demonstrated affection.

“Where are you all staying?”  Willow’s words jarred the group from their ruminations.

“At Matt’s.  We’ll be here by nine on Saturday unless you need help before that.”

Before Willow could answer, Matt interrupted.  “I could direct traffic- where is everyone going to park?”

“I’m going to cut the fence wires half way down the driveway and then I’m going to have people park there.  It’s fairly level and I’ll just fix the fence later.”

Matt was already shaking his head before she finished.  “I’ll come out with Tad and Lane.  I’ll be your own personal valet service.”

“I don’t-”

“Trust me.  I know what I’m doing.  I’ve done valet for odd jobs during Christmas since I got my license.”

“Thank you then.  Thanks.”  Willow looked around the group awkwardly.  “I don’t know what else to say.”

“Thank you is sometimes all it takes.  You’re welcome.”  Matt’s eyes reassured her as he took Lane’s hand and wandered back to Tad, climbed into their vehicle, and drove back to Rockland with the promise of early arrival on Saturday morning.

***

Chad drove in at two a.m.  Seated in the rocking chair in the kitchen, Willow held a muffin and a hot cup of coffee out to him.  “Hungry?”

“Get up.”

Without thinking, Willow stood and then laughed as Chad sat down pulling her into his lap.  “I kind of understand your complaints lately.  People are everywhere.  Omnipresent.  I miss you.”

“We get every day from Saturday through next Friday.  I keep banking on that.  I’m not used to so many people around me.  I need space.”

“Are you going to need space from me?”

“I doubt it.  You’re gone at work enough for me to get more than enough space but I was with Mother all the time and I never got tired of her.  It’s just ever-present people.”  Willow laid her head on his shoulder and curled against him.

“Four hours.  Just four more hours and I’m free.”

Unable to resist the temptation, Willow shook her head.  ”Free?  I thought you were getting chained down, knotted, and stuff like that?”

“You, lass, are incorrigible.”

“I try.”

Chapter 99~

Willow’s phone rang but Marianne snatched it up.  “Chad, don’t call.  You can’t talk to her tonight.  She’s ours.”

“Mom, the Confectionary called.  They want her to call them but for some reason, they can’t get through.”

Marianne sighed and handed the phone to Willow.  “You have exactly two point five minutes.  Go.”

Unsure how serious to take Marianne, Willow answered the phone abruptly.  “What do you need?”

“Gee, I love you too.”

“Knock it off; your mom is glaring at me.  What do you need?”

A grin split his face.  Willow intimidated by his mother was something he’d give anything to see.  “The Confectionary wanted to do the cake in regular icing but it’s not working so they want permission to use fondant.  I thought that stuff tasted nasty but they swear theirs is delicious and if someone would run down there right now, they’ll give them a taste sample to bring to you.  Then you can call and let them know.  They’re way behind on in now but the decorator had been certain she could do it the other way and now she can’t.”

“That’s a lot of ands,” Willow commented, her head spinning.  “I’ll go down.  Thanks.  Bye.”

The room stared at her in shock.  She glanced around trying to understand the looks shooting at her from every direction.  “What?”

“I’ll go down, thanks bye?”  Lee Wu’s voice was appalled.  “Can’t you at least sound loving even if you won’t say it?”

“Never mind.  I’ll be right back.  There’s a cake issue.”

“You are not leaving here!”  Marianne’s voice startled the whole room.  “This is just a plot to get her out of the shower, I know it.”

“Mom, this is Willow.  She doesn’t play those kinds of games.”

“No, but Chaddie does.”

A collective titter rose with echoes of “Chaddie?” in the mix.  Willow stood, undecided, and then called Chad back.  “Your mother thinks this is a ploy to get me out of the shower.”

“Pass the phone to mom.”  Chad relayed the situation to his father as he waited for Marianne to take the phone.  “Mom, what is this about you accusing me of conspiracy to defraud shower attendees?”

“I know you-”

“Not as well as you think.  I thought you said this was a personal shower.”

“It is-” she began triumphantly.  “I know exactly how excited Willow-”

“Mom.  Forget her for a moment.  I’m your son.  I’m your husband’s son.  I’m a man.  Why on earth would I sabotage a personal shower?”

Marianne clicked the phone shut.  “You can go.  Cheri, go with her.  It’ll help keep her from getting stuck there with a million other questions.”

Laughing as they walked down the street in flip-flops, their hair in towels, and green gook smeared across their faces, Cheri and Willow hurried to the shop ignoring the strange looks they received from passersby.  “We’re here!”

“Willow?”

“See,” Willow said nudging Cheri.  “I told you they’d recognize me.”

“You’re the only one I expected…”  Carmen passed a plate with two pieces of cake on it.  “That one is the fondant; that is the icing.  It won’t look good with icing but…”

“The fondant is fine, don’t you think?”  Willow held a fork to Cheri’s mouth.

“Works for me.”

“We’ll take the fondant.  Whatever you think is best.  Just make it good!”

Before Carmen could respond, Willow dragged Cheri out into the street.  “And mom thought you needed my help…”

“Well, we were done, right?  If we don’t get back soon, your mother will blame you for not getting me out of there fast enough.  For some reason green goop on my face and people playing with my feet are essential elements to a perfect wedding and I don’t want to ruin that for her.”

“Well, she’s afraid you won’t come back for presents I think.”

Confused, Willow shrugged.  “I can’t see why.  I mean, I think it’s ridiculous if you want me to be honest.  We don’t need anything.  But I don’t want to make your mom feel bad.”

Cheri wisely kept her concerns to herself.  Willow would kill her but she wisely feared the wrath of mom more than the wrath of sister.  “People like to give presents.”

Inside the fellowship hall, the “Fairbury One Day Spa” was in full bloom.  Faces were stripped, sanded, and primed before receiving a good oiling- or at least that’s how Willow described it to Chad the next morning sending Cheri and Marianne into fits of hysteria.  Her feet had never felt so soft and tender.  As the pedicurist spent half an hour painting one foot perfectly, and the manicurist painted an identical “French style” on her fingernails, Willow laid back in the chair and tried to relax.  Pool lounge chairs were scattered all around the room with every manicurist and pedicurist in a thirty-mile radius.

“Well, I feel like I should be puckered and wrinkled but my skin is smoother than I’ve ever seen it!” Willow commented hoping it was the right thing to say.

“Now, food!” Cheri announced as a knock sounded on the fellowship hall door.

Lily and Cheri raced to the door carrying huge bags of Chinese food.  “Food has arrived- there’s a catch,” Lily insisted.  “I ordered chopsticks.  No one uses utensils.  Chopsticks only.”

Willow looked at Marianne in horror.  “I think we should have done our faces after dinner,” she remarked dryly.

Time ticked by and the party grew more and more silly as Lee and her crew gave everyone individual “makeovers.”  From hair-dos from any century, make up from any century, and odd adjustments to clothing, the room was instantly transformed into a motley array of ‘painted ladies’ and yet every one looked smashing as the ‘persona’ the stylists created.  Alexa walked around the room in her heels, forties dress, and glamour girl hair and make up taking pictures of everyone with one of Wes’ back-up cameras for souvenirs of the evening.

Finally, everyone gathered in a circle and piled gifts at Willow’s feet.  In relief, she saw that almost all of them were smallish packages.  While there were quite a few of them, she truly hoped people had spent little and they were mostly consumable.

The first gift was from Lee.  Several bottles of hair products that smelled of jasmine assured her that her hair would be smooth, silky, and cure every dead end she could produce.  Willow thought it an odd wedding present, but she was grateful it wouldn’t fill her house for the next twenty years.  As soon as the thought crossed her mind, Willow was ashamed.  These ladies, no matter how unnecessary it all was, were trying to be giving and show their affection for them.  Willow just hoped Chad liked the scent of Jasmine and was grateful that he didn’t have much hair for it to cling to or Joe and the guys would tease him mercilessly.

A knit camisole and panty set with “Kiss me, I’m the Bride” emblazoned across the chest confused her.  She glanced around the room with an endearing expression of abject perplexity on her face and said, “It’s really comfortable looking but why the words when they’ll just be covered by clothes?”

Several sets of bath salts, bubble bath, lotion, shower gel, and to Willow’s utter amusement, candles, followed the initial packages.  Then Marianne handed her one smiling mischievously.  “This is your joke gift.”

Tentatively, Willow unwrapped the paper and laid it aside in the rapidly growing pile.  From the garment box she pulled two pillowcases.  One showed a blushing stick figure bride being kissed by her groom.  The other showed only half of the stick figure body as he leaned into the other pillowcase.  Willow flushed a deep crimson and folded them quickly covering the box.  “Very funny Marianne-” She paused.  Suddenly calling her mother-in-law to be by her first name seemed cold and impersonal.  She’d have to talk to Chad about that.  Chad.  Oh, wait until he saw those pillowcases.  Ugh.

Another package was thrust into her hands before she could recover from her change in thought.  Inside was a beautiful picnic basket.  It was much nicer than anything she’d ever owned.  She assured Alexa it would be well used and the comment sent titters around the room as soon as she opened it and pulled out his and her robes, a box of truffles, and a bottle of champagne.

“Oh!” Willow fumbled for a moment and then smiled confidently.  “It’s perfect for going to the swimming hole.  Thank you so much!”

The ladies exchanged glances around the room unsure how to handle her apparent cluelessness but Willow had finally discerned the point of this shower.  Alexa caught her eyes and winked.

Presents flew in rapid succession.  It seemed she unwrapped one sheer nightie only moments before another was thrust into her hands.  Her face slowly turned from beet to puce until Grandma Tesdall passed her package and muttered something about indecency.  Knowing the irascible old woman’s penchant for making people miserable, Willow was nervous.  However, at the sight of a green and blue striped seersucker housecoat, she jumped from her “throne” and raced after the startled woman throwing her arms around her.  “Thank you!”

Collective laughter filled the fellowship hall and it grew louder as she slipped the housecoat on over her skirt and blouse.  “This is so much more like it.  I won’t freeze my fanny trying to milk Ditto in this.”

Cheri’s gift was a beautifully handcrafted “Wedding Journal” in Willow’s colors.  It was readily apparent that she’d spent hours searching for just the right papers and colors.  “Oh Cheri!  It’s beautiful!  How did-”

“I just thought, ‘If Willow was bringing a gift to a personal shower, what would she do?’, and this is what I decided.”

“It’s perfect.  Thank you!  I know exactly how I’ll use it too!”  Seeing the journal reminded her of the engagement album in her bag.  “Hey, can you find my tote bag and get the album out of it?  I meant to share tonight!”

As the women oohed and aaahed over the pictures, Willow opened a box with a t-shirt that said, ‘Taken’.  Excitedly, she raced for the bathrooms and emerged almost immediately wearing the t-shirt.  “There.  No one can doubt it anymore.”

Lily’s gift was a set of scented padded hangers.  The relief was nearly overwhelming.  Several more joke gifts, a set of silk sheets, and two more bath sets later, the party ended.  They loaded Marianne’s trunk with everything, thanked Lily, Alexa, Lee, and all of her ‘team’ for the wonderful evening and left.  Willow was exhausted but tightly wound.  She’d take a nice long walk along the stream before she turned into bed.

Once parked beside the barn, Willow told Marianne and Cheri to go inside the house.  “I’m tired but I have nervous energy to work out. If you’re in bed before I get back, I’ll see you in the morning.  Thank you for everything.”

Willow was half way across the pasture before she heard the back door slam and Chad’s voice calling her.  Though she knew he couldn’t see it yet, she held up her cell phone and flipped it open so he could see the light to walk in the right direction.  “Over here.”

“How’d it go?” he queried jogging up to her.

“You know exactly how it went.  I have special torture planned for you.  You knew what was going on and you didn’t warn me.”

Trying another tactic, he pointed to her shirt.  “I like that.”

She grinned.  She’d get even later, now was for fun.  “I did too.  It doesn’t mach my skirt but I had to put it on when I opened it.”

“You like it?”  This he hadn’t expected.”

“You know,” she mused staring across the pasture toward the line of trees by the stream.  “For someone as intelligent as you usually are sometimes you’re not too bright.”

“’splain’ Lucy.”

“What?”

“Never mind.  Tell me what you mean.”

“Who’s Lucy?”  Willow was not too tired to be irked that yet another thing Chad said made absolutely no sense to her.”

“It’s a TV show.  Now tell me about you being glad you’re taken.”

“Well, it’s not just that- I mean- it’s more that I belong somewhere again and I like where I belong.”

“Aww lass…”  Chad wrapped one arm around her waist and led her further from the house to her favorite spot along the stream.  “Tell me about the cake.”

“They’re doing fondant.”

“And the dance floor?”

Willow answered every question as though bored.  She couldn’t understand why everyone acted like this was a difficult process.  “Why does everyone keep doing this?  I thought you-”

“I’m trying to get it out of you so that I can field the answers honestly.  Mom asks about the stage for Argosy Junction and I can assure her that it’s taken care of.  If I know that the caterer is on schedule and that you have all the tables and chairs and insurance for the horse and carriage, then we’re set.  I can stop everyone from giving you grief.  It’s just me asking instead of twenty others.”

She sank to the edge of the bank and rested her head against the trunk of her favorite tree.  “I was wondering about your mom.”

“What about her?”

“I can’t keep calling her Marianne.  Is there something she’d want me to call her?”  Willow had been thinking about it since the shower.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it seems so disrespectful and yet I can’t call her ‘Mrs. Tesdall’.”

“Of course you can’t, that’ll be your name.”  He hadn’t thought of it yet but the sound of Willow Tesdall sounded wonderful to his ears.

“Come on,” she insisted, “What do I do?”

“We call her mom but I wouldn’t want you to feel disloyal to your mom.”

Willow thought for a few minutes.  “I called Mother, well, mother.  Mom works.  What would your mom think of that?”

“Ask her.  I guarantee you’ll be calling her mom from now on though so don’t if you’re not sure.”

With a contented sigh, she laid her head on his shoulder.  “I have a mother again- a mom.  What about your dad?”

“He’s just Dad.”

“Dad,” she echoed.  “I have never had a father.  Dad.  I like that.”

A new CONTEST at the other blog…

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Chapter 98~

Willow’s cell phone rang.  Again.  By now, she was ready to give away the thing and never see it again.  She’d already called Chad and chewed him out for finding it in the pile of straw in the barn.  Now she took a deep breath and forced herself to answer it with a pleasant tone.

“Yes?”

“This is Marla from Maitre ‘D.  I’m calling to ask about your side dish options?”

“I thought I chose the potato cups, spring salad, and corn chowder?”

“Yes, but we’re having trouble with our supplier.  Twice now they haven’t been able to provide us with the greens and tomatoes for the salad-”

“So come and get mine.  Tell me how much you need and I’ll have them picked and ready for you.  I’d offer to bring them but I don’t drive.”

“You’re kidding.  You have tomatoes, lettuce, spinach-”

“Unless you need fresh corn, I’ve got most salad basics.”

“We have the corn.  Excellent.  I’ll be there at four p.m. on Friday if that’s ok.”

Willow closed the phone and wrote “pick vegetables” on her list.  She’d call for amounts on Friday in case the supplier came through after all.  Before she could return to hemstitching tablecloths, the phone rang again.  Tempted to ignore it, Willow glanced at the name flashing.  “Hello Marianne!”

“Are you ready to go crazy yet?”

“Crazy why?”  She was thoroughly sick of the question.  Why must she feel stressed and out of sorts.  Everyone she met since the day of the engagement photos had assumed she was going crazy with last minute details.

This wasn’t the answer Marianne expected.  “Well, you only have until Saturday morning…”

“Yes. It’s going to be a long week.”

“I’ll see you Wednesday afternoon.  Cheri is cutting her Thursday morning class.  Her professor said she could turn in her work early and make up the essay next week.”

“Nice professor,” Willow agreed, not knowing what was expected.

“Are you sure there isn’t anything you need me to do?”

“If I think of something, I’ll put you to work when you get here,” Willow assured her.

The moment Marianne disconnected the call she dialed her son.  “Chad?  I’m worried about things.”

Chad asked his mother to wait as he pointed a warning finger at Aiden Cox and shouted for the boy to buckle his helmet straps.  “What is wrong mom?”

“Willow is too calm.  I don’t think she understands-”

“She’s got it covered mom.  Everything is happening on schedule, Wes is bringing the proofs from our engagement pictures tonight- man he’s fast.  They’ll be there for you when you get here.”

“What about tables?  Did she think about renting tables and chairs?”

“No, she bought them.  They’re in the barn.  She thought we might want to have them ready for family occasions and church picnics and things.”

“You’re kidding me.  How-”

“She knows what she’s doing, mom.  Trust her.”

Marianne’s questions were driving Chad crazy.  He could only imagine what Willow thought.  After a few more reassurances and several requests to keep her hands busy, Chad disconnected the call and sighed.  This was going to be a very long week.

***

The box in Chad’s hands was wrapped in brown package paper and tied in an ivory sheer ribbon bow.  Willow’s eyes widened.  “What-”

“Wes left it at the station.  He wrapped it so I couldn’t look without you.  He intends to ask if it was fully wrapped.”

“Are they that good or that bad,” Willow wondered feeling a bit nervous.

“I’m guessing they’re better than good.”

Forty pages of eight by ten photos captured a side of Willow and Chad that neither of them had ever seen.  Somehow, Wes caught the undercurrent of their relationship that only those closest to them knew existed and even the happy couple had often missed.  Posed shots didn’t look posed and candid shots seemed to reach into their hearts and tie them together in new ways.  Most of the pictures neither of them remembered Wes taking.

“When did he get this one?”  Willow pointed to a black and white photo of Chad sweeping a strand of hair back from her face.

“I don’t know.  I don’t remember doing that.”

They both laughed at a series of shots where Chad attempted to catch Willow jumping from the swing… and failed.  The final picture of both of them laying on their backs, arms thrown over their foreheads and their free fingers intertwined was shot from much higher than they could remember.

“Did you see him climb anything?”

“He did have that ladder with him everywhere,” Willow reminded Chad.

“I didn’t remember him using it.”

Willow nodded agreeably as she turned the page.  “I don’t either.  Look at this one!”

This one Chad remembered but didn’t realize that Wes caught.  They’d stepped down from several shots on the porch swing, the Chinese checkerboard rocking on the bench as they stood.  Wes captured the moment and then must have turned in time to snap a picture of Chad handing Willow a white and lavender columbine.  It looked as though he’d picked it and presented it as a simple gift when in reality, he’d broken it as he hurried down the step and paused to show her that the Rocky Mountain variety were still blooming.  The picture was instantly Chad’s favorite.

“I love that one.”

“Isn’t it interesting how a picture can convey something that didn’t happen?”  Just as she said it, Willow turned the page and the picture staring back at them looked like the perfect picture of a couple in love.  “Like that.  Wow.  Look at that.”

“I like it.  What’s wrong with it?”

Willow didn’t know how to explain without embarrassing herself.  “Nothing’s wrong with it- it just looks more- I don’t know-” she hesitated again searching for the right word.  “Intimate.  The picture looks like he caught us in a very private moment but I remember that.  We were laughing about him tripping and falling but saving his camera at the expense of his cheek, remember?”

“Right.  Wes said, ‘Skin heals but my camera and lenses aren’t as forgiving.’  I see what you mean though but really, it was an intimate moment.  We shared thoughts without words there, remember?”

She shook her head and continued flipping pages and commenting on pictures.  As much as Willow wanted him to understand what she meant, it felt impossible to explain it adequately and ever since the fiasco over finances, Willow was loath to mention anything that could be misconstrued.  She just wanted to get through the week and then deal with any fallout afterward.

The final picture was one of the few with much physical contact.  Somehow, Wes captured their relationship while keeping their physical affection more private than many engagement pictures that Wes had shown Chad trying to glean ideas for what they wanted.  This picture, however, showed them on the lowest branch of the oak tree by Kari’s grave.  They straddled the branch, Chad behind Willow, his arms around her waist and his face next to hers.  From Wes’ angle, the shot included an out of focus foreground with Kari’s headstone and the couple in perfect focus.  Just as Wes snapped the picture, Chad had made a funny comment and kissed her cheek.  The resulting picture was incredibly heart wrenching on many levels.

Willow stood, carried the book into the living room, and glanced around the room.  Finally, she pulled a sampler she’d stitched at seven from the wall over the chaise and held the album in place studying the effect.  “Will you hold this for me?”

Chad smiled as she stood back and eyed it critically.  “What’s wrong?”

“We’d have to have an awfully big picture… What if we did the columbine one on one side and the last one of the swing series?”

“Lass,” Chad said lazily, “You pick ‘em, I’ll hang ‘em.”

“Oh, I can hang them.  I just didn’t want pictures up there that you’d hate.  I’ve always hated that sampler.  I’m glad to get it out of here.”

“What’ll you do with it?”

Willow stared at it disdainfully.  “I’m thinking fuel for stove works.”

“No!”  Abashed, Chad regulated his voice to a more moderate tone and tried again.  “I just think that someday you might want it or our children might want it.  There’s a lot of work-”

“Ugly work”

“Ok, fine,” Chad conceded.  “You think it’s ugly.  I don’t but I can see why you don’t like it.  With your eye for perfection and color I bet you can give me twenty problems with it before I could carry it upstairs but I still think it’s an amazing amount of work for a little girl and I think you should save it.”

“Where?”

“Attic.  We’ll wrap it in an old sheet or something.”  Before she could argue, Chad took the frame from Willow and carried it upstairs.  “Hey, you scrubbed the hallway today.  The soot is gone,” he called down to her.

“I can’t have people getting all black waiting for the bathroom!”

“Did my mom call again?”

As she climbed the stairs behind him, Willow gave him a play by play of the series of calls she’d received that day.  “Oh yes.  She called at eight, eleven, four, and just as you were pulling in the driveway.  In between those calls, Cheri called three times, Libby twice, and I got at least half a dozen calls about cake, food, horse, and I can’t remember what all.  It was ridiculous.”

“Bad news.”

Willow glared at him as he looked down from the attic stairs.  “What?”

“It’ll happen again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day… but once mom gets here, I think she’ll calm down.”

“Can she come now?”

Chad’s laughter did little to comfort her.  “Nope.  You’re mine tonight and tomorrow afternoon.  After that I won’t get five minutes alone with you until after we kick everyone out on Saturday.”

A look of despair clouded her face.  “Why did we think a wedding was such a good idea again?”

***

Tuesday afternoon, Chad and Willow moved all of Chad’s possessions from his apartment to the house.  His mattress, they put on Kari’s bed and sent hers to be remanufactured somewhere in the city.  His dresser they stashed in the attic for storage, and his coffee table he set in the craft room for his mother to take home.  Chris wanted it.  They rearranged the living room to make room for Chad’s couch instantly doubling the seating.

Aside from a pair of sweats, a few pairs of socks and underwear, his uniform and one change of clothing, Chad’s apartment boasted of one air mattress and a fridge with milk in it.  All of his clothing was now safely stored in Kari’s dressers, and the rest of his meager possessions fit nicely in Kari’s closet.  While Chad stored things were he could find them at the farm, Willow scrubbed his apartment from top to bottom.  It’d need another light cleaning after the wedding but they had two weeks before the end of May to clean it.

Entering her living room, Willow stopped.  “It’ll take time to get used to two couches.  We could put your computer on the coffee table in the middle and each have a whole couch to stretch out on.”

Chad pulled his laptop from the bottom shelf of an end table and set it up.  “Let’s try.  I’m beat and I still have three hours before I have to get to work.”

The movie began and both of them stretched out onto individual couches.  In minutes, Chad was sound asleep, snoring lightly on occasion.  Willow watched fascinated as Alvin York worked to provide for his family, became a Christian, fought conscription, and then finally fought to stop the guns at Argonne.

When Chad’s phone vibrated to remind him to get ready for work, he found Willow sleeping on his couch, his feet in her lap.  He realized that at some point during the movie she must have gotten uncomfortable in the same position and moved.  Now he urged her upstairs and into bed.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“No you won’t,” she murmured exhausted.  “I have to go to the bath.  No wait, that’s not it.”  Her groggy mumbles were even more humorous as she tried to locate the correct word as it dodged her attempts to grasp it.  “Shower.  That’s it.  Personal shower.  What other kind of shower is there anyway?” she rambled pulling pajama bottoms and top from her drawer.  “It’s not like people give showers to strangers for no reason.”

When she started to unbutton her shirt, Chad took it as a sign to say goodnight and rushed from the room.  “I’ll see you before you go maybe. Don’t fix dinner.  I’ll take you to Marcello’s or something,” he called.

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, Chad warned his reflection, “Boy is she going to be surprised when she learns exactly what a personal shower is.”

Chapter 97~

Alone in his apartment, Chad raged.  He paced the floor, kicked at the couch, and when tears threatened, he threw his cell phone across the room.  Immediately, regret flooded his conscience.  There was no excuse for losing control.

Dejectedly, Chad sank to the couch, hung his head in his hands, and prayed as he hadn’t prayed in months.  Each second of his internal clock seemed to be a deathblow to a dream and each blow made him angrier.  She’d been so cool and collected- cheerful even.  What had he missed?

The clock screamed ten-thirty as he glanced at the red digital numbers.  Wake up dad or risk waking up Luke’s children?  The chief?  No, not the chief, he didn’t want to embarrass himself any further.  With a sigh and a prayer for operational if a bit scuffed cell phones, Chad retrieved his, clipped the cover back on it securely, and dialed home.

“Mom?  I’m fine.  Willow’s fine.  Can I talk to Dad?”

Christopher groaned as he rolled over to grab the phone from Marianne’s tired hands.  “Son?  What’s wrong?”

While Chad explained the evening’s discussion and the events that led to it, Christopher padded downstairs, heated milk in the microwave, and poured two scoops of hot chocolate mix into his favorite cup.  Hot mug in hand, he stepped onto the patio and wrapped his robe around him a bit tighter.  This could be a long night.

“So basically you told her that her money was a problem but that she couldn’t get rid of it.”

“Well, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Does she know that son?”  Christopher understood Willow’s mind more clearly, since she’d spent a week in his home.

“I think so.  She just said, ‘well will you still come visit and play games and spend time with me if we don’t get married?  Things weren’t going to be that different after marriage anyway.’”  Just repeating the words made him sick.

“I can see why she said that.”

Of all the things his father might have said at that moment, those words were the last he expected.  “Say what?”

“You heard me.  Chad, you’ve made it very clear to everyone how you’re just good friends and this marriage is convenient for both of you.  If we all know that, how much more should she think-”

“Dad!”  This was not his fault.  Chad refused to accept responsibility for Willow’s overreaction to a reasonable problem.  “I called for help in dealing with Willow’s unreasonable response to the money situation, not to hear how you think I’m an idiot.”

“Oh.  I’m sorry.  I misunderstood.  Night then.  I don’t think she was unreasonable so I guess I should go.”

Christopher clicked the ‘talk’ button on his portable phone handset and carried it back into the house.  Marianne stood at the kitchen sink unnerved by a late night call.  “What did he want?”

“Our son made a bit fuss over Willow’s money, she tried to come up with solutions- she even offered to give it to that financial adviser of hers, and when nothing would please Chad, she suggested marriage might just be too much of a hassle for them.”

“What!”

Christopher chuckled.  “Yep.  Told him they might as well just go on being friends like they are.  He’s made such a point of telling everyone about it like that, that I’m sure she thought she was doing him a favor.”

In a hoarse whisper, Marianne asked, “Do you think she really cares so little about the marriage though?”

“I suspect that she’s home sobbing her eyes out and wondering what is wrong with her.”

“What makes you think that?”

He wrapped an arm around his wife’s waist and steered her toward the stairs.  “Remember when she wanted to make your dress and you said you’d find something in the store?”

“Yes?  What about it.  She was so excited to help me look.  I thought I’d hurt her feelings but she didn’t have time to do more.  Thankfully she wasn’t hurt.”

“She was crushed.”  Christopher’s voice took on a tone of tenderness Marianne rarely heard.

“She was?”

“Sweetheart, I heard her crying in her room an hour after you got home.  I went in, talked to her, and got it out of her.”

Marianne was aghast.  “Why didn’t she- why did she act so chipper?”

“I asked her about that.  She said it was something she’d read in C.S. Lewis.  I don’t remember which book she said it was but in it, he mentioned something about putting on the ‘mantle of Christlikeness’.  She chose to respond how she wanted to feel to train herself to feel how she should.”

“Did you tell her that was dishonest?”

“I told her she was mature beyond her years in her desires but that the appropriate response isn’t always what it seems.  It seems that I wasn’t clear enough.”

“And now Chad probably thinks she’s happy with the plan but you think she’s unhappy.”

“Yes.”

Marianne turned and waved him upstairs.  “I’ll call her.”

“It’s late Marianne.”

“You said she’d be up,” the persistent woman insisted.  “I’ll at least try.”

Somewhere in a pile of hay in the Finley barn, a cell phone rang but the mice and cats that heard it were too busy to pay attention.

***

Sandy grit irritated Chad’s eyes the next morning.  He awoke, tired and frustrated at the previous night’s events.  He spent the next twenty minutes in prayer as he showered, shaved, and dressed for the day.

At the farm, Willow milked Ditto, rotated pastures so the cow and sheep could enjoy new grass, and the chickens fairly flew the coup as she opened the doors.  May first.  She remembered May day baskets on bedside tables and stories of her mother delivering baskets to the elderly in her church every year.

Buds on the lilac bush thrilled her until she remembered that there was no need for them anymore.  There’d be no wedding, no bouquets, no lilacs to perfume tables with their heady scent.  Her stomach clenched.  Surely, there was another option.  Maybe- but no, she’d made the suggestion to ease Chad’s misgivings and he’d accepted it.  It must be what was best.

A long list of calls filled her mind.  The cake, the caterer, the dance floor, and the horse would all have to be cancelled.  Unless… She thought about it for several moments and then smiled.  It’d work.  Why shouldn’t they go ahead with the party?  The invitations were sent, the money spent- she’d just make a different dress and they’d celebrate that friends can be just friends without complicating the relationship.  The thought alone nearly made her ill.  Eventually she’d feel that way.  Today it was still fresh and raw.

She heard Chad’s truck in the driveway and hurried into the house.  By the time he entered, she had a pan heating and was beating eggs into a bowl.  “I got a late start so I thought omelets would be easiest.”

“We have to talk.”

Unwilling to get into difficult territory, Willow agreed readily and launched into her ‘wedding party without a wedding’ plan.  “It’ll be easier than calling everyone and then-”

“I don’t want to call off the wedding.”  He’d said it.  All the way to Willow’s house he’d practiced how to broach the subject and here he’d just blurted out the first thought that came to mind.”

“But I thought-”

“You thought wrong,” Chad insisted.  “You aren’t the only one in this equation.  Yes, the money is difficult for me to swallow but not marrying you is more difficult.”

“I don’t understand.”

He shouldn’t have been surprised.  Of course, she wouldn’t understand.  As Willow handed Chad his omelet, he pulled the other chair toward him with one foot and gently pushed her toward it.  “I know you don’t.  That’s my fault Willow.  I focused on one reason for marriage so exclusively that I left you thinking that’s all it was- a convenience.”

Chad saw her swallow hard and mentally kicked himself around the barn and back.  He was going to blow this.  Anger welled again but this time the object wasn’t Willow.  This time he saw that she wasn’t the one with little thought for him.  In fact, a new thought occurred to Chad, she’d probably been a bit self-sacrificing.

“Willow, I was a bit perturbed last night.”

“A bit?”   One eyebrow arched slightly.

“Ok, I was quite ticked off.  I assumed that you didn’t care about us- our marriage.  I went home, whined to my father… I’m not exactly proud of my behavior.  What did you do?”

She stood, pushed the chair behind her, and returned to the stove.  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Willow, lass, we have to talk about it.  We can’t let this-”

She whirled to face him steely anger in her voice.  “I can’t believe you decided that this was all about me.  I’m sick of being the backward idiot who doesn’t know how to relate in your world.  You didn’t like any of my financial solutions, what else am I supposed to think?  How am I supposed to know that you’re not looking for an out?  You sounded like you wanted one.”

“It wasn’t that so much, as your infernal cheerfulness.  You seemed perfectly chipper at the idea of just going back to the way things were.”

“So you would have preferred I cried and begged you not to abandon me?”

“Well cried-” he began with a slightly panicked tone.  He’d been through tears enough with her to want to avoid them at all costs.

“Exactly!  I save my break down for when you’re gone so I don’t push you further away and I get blasted for it.  Had I bawled, you would have hated it.  Can you give me an option three, because my brain quit at two.”

Willow shoved the half-cooked omelet into the sink and stormed from the kitchen.  Chad stared in shock at the empty back door for several seconds before he jumped to follow.  She was right.  He had treated her somewhat like the backward child who must be the cause of all things discordant.

He hurried out of the kitchen, down the steps, and around the back of the barn.  Chad was sure she’d gone to her swing.  After the last snowfall, she’d raced out there with it and retied it onto the sturdy branch.  She seemed drawn to it anytime she was unsettled or needed to think.

Just as the tree came into view, he heard the distinct sound of breaking glass against metal.  Seconds later, it repeated.  What on earth?  Chad retraced his steps and opened the barn door where Willow was systematically smashing dishes into a barrel.  Again.  But this time death wasn’t the cause.  He could take credit for this one.

“Aww lass, I’m sorry.”

Another dish crashed into the barrel.  “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“Willow, I-”

“What part of ‘don’t want to talk’ is incomprehensible?” Two more dishes followed.

In a brilliant stroke of preemptive genius, Chad knew she wouldn’t find kissing to be an acceptable alternative to talking.  “What do you want?”

“I want to rewind to yesterday and then I’d burn that card from Bill.”

“That wouldn’t change anything though, not in the long run.  It’d just delay the inevitable.”

She glared at him with eyes loaded with unshed tears.  “Well, if the delay waited until after the fifteenth, then the solution options reduce dramatically.”

“So you want to marry me,” he commented almost gleefully.

“I don’t believe this.  You thought I agreed because I thought it was stupid and I wanted to make myself miserable?”

“Oooh, listen to the sarcasm!”  His mockery didn’t make her smile as he’d hoped, but she did put her next plate back in the nearly empty box.  “You’re almost out of those.  I should have mom find some at a thrift store or garage sale.”

“I have one more box in the lean-to.”

Chad thought of something.  “Can I have one?”

Willow’s face was a study in curiosity.  “Um, sure.”  She handed him a plate and stepped back.

Chad however, took the plate and rubbed his thumbs around the rim.  Gentle ripples edged in gold around the edge of the plate showed tiny rosebuds scattered here and there.  “I could break this.  I feel like it.  I’m frustrated with myself and it’d be refreshing.”  He smiled at her weakly.  “But, I’m not going to do it.  You see, I did that last night already.”  He hoped this’d work.

“You did what?”

“Last night.  I got upset about something and instead of showing self-control; I just let myself break things.  I damaged our relationship.  Forgive me?”

“We’re ok?”

“We’re more than ok.”

He saw her relax, every muscle seemingly stretching comfortably again.  “I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

She shrugged.  “I don’t know really.  Just afraid.  That’s why I asked what’d happen if we didn’t get married.  I’ve seen it in books- people end engagements and never speak to each other again.  I didn’t want to be alone again.”

“Breaking off the engagement was never an option in my mind.  Once I asked you to marry me, in my mind, I was committed.  For life.”

Willow shook her head.  “That doesn’t make sense though.  What if I sent you away?  You’d never marry ever?”

“Well, I don’t know.  Probably but-”

“Then it’s not the same as marriage.  You can’t trivialize marriage like that.  Marriage is unique and special because it is a total irrevocable commitment.  Even if you left me once I was married to you, I’d never marry again while you were alive.  The same isn’t true for engagement.  It’s not right to give more power to one or it takes away the beauty and strength of the other.”

“So,” Chad questioned stubbornly, “You think engagements are just a way to ‘go steady’ while planning a wedding?  There’s nothing special about an engagement?”

“I think there is a lot special about engagements.”  Willow removed the plate from his hand, pushed the box out of the way and started toward the house.  “I just don’t think it’s right to give it as much strength as a marriage.  I like the old idea of them being breakable but considered a ‘breach of promise’.  It’s the kind of thing you do only under the most serious of circumstances.  One person loses their faith, you find out the other has been married and didn’t disclose it, one is unfaithful…  Something like that.”

“You have a point- where are you going?”

“Well,” she teased.  “If you came over here to tell me that you’re not taking ‘go away’ for an answer, then I’m changing for Wes.  He said he’d be here at nine, remember?”

“Hmm… I got sidetracked with saving my marriage before I even had it.  I’d better go change.”

As his truck bounced over the ruts in the road, Willow watched from her window.  “Lord, why don’t I trust?  Why do I fall apart over these things instead of turning them over to You?  It’s not like I can do anything about them in my own strength anyway.  I don’t understand why I never learn.”

Chapter 96- Part 2

“Something is bothering you.”

Lost in thought, Chad nodded and gave her a non-committal shrug.  “Sounds interesting.”

His blatant departure into another time and place amused her.  Mother had done that quite regularly and until now, Willow had forgotten how enjoyable it was to see another side of someone when they didn’t realize they were showing it.  She’d never noticed how a crease formed between his eyebrows when he was thinking.

“Did you say something?”

“I said,” she responded with studied patience, “that something is bothering you.”

“Not really it’s just-”

“That something is bothering you.”

Chad smiled at her tone.  “Ok, ok.  I guess you could say it that way.  I just keep forgetting about your money.”

“Money?”  Money wasn’t something Willow thought of very often.  Frankly, she’d ignored the quarterly statements Bill sent faithfully.  “What about it?”

“You have it.  Lots of it.  I forget that.”

“Good.  So do I.  Who cares?”

He was reminded, once again, just how clueless she was regarding money and its affect on her life.  “Who cares?  Willow, your lifestyle exists because of that money.”

“I don’t understand that.”

“I know you don’t but I do.  I understand it and it’s hard for me.” 

His admission confused Willow more than ever.  “Why is it hard for you?”

This Chad didn’t know how to explain.  How do you tell your fiancée that you resent her disproportionate contribution to the family coffers?  He had very definite ideas of marriage.  The idea of a life with separate accounts was repugnant to him.  All that was left to him was to determine which was more revolting- her money in his account or his and hers accounts.

“I hate this.  I don’t know how to explain it but I’ve never imagined a marriage where there were separate accounts but I can’t imagine this marriage with access to this kind of money.”  Chad flicked the credit card Bill had sent across the table.

“This is about the card?”

“This is about what the card represents.  It represents more money than I’ll make in my lifetime.”

Willow shook her head frustrated.  “No no.  If you make fifty thousand a year for forty years, that’s two million dollars.  I have around that much now so that just doesn’t make sense.”

It seemed insane that she could grasp the simple math of their respective financial situations without understanding what any of it meant in the real scheme of things.  “But while I’m making my much less than fifty thousand a year your money is growing.”  He winced and slammed his fist on the table rattling plates and sending a few nervous glances their way.  “Sorry.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know you don’t.  It’s something I forget about and then kick myself over.”

Willow watched the agony go through is features for several minutes before she finally tossed her hands in the air.  “I’ve got it.  It’s simple.  Your dad earns the money; your mom keeps your house right?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll give Bill the accounts.  You earn the money.  I work the farm.  We’re what you’re used to.  Everything’s fine.”

He didn’t know how to make her understand.  Bill wouldn’t just accept her accounts and that money was like life insurance- she needed it.  With his job, there was risk.  Yes, it was a smaller risk than most officers faced, but even Fairbury had experienced its own murder spree and more recently, Willow’s stalker.  It could happen again and this time, an officer- yes, even him- could be hurt.

“You can’t do that Willow.  I need to know you are provided for if something happens to me.”

“Well, I’m not going to think about that,” she insisted dismissively.  “We’ll just let the accounts do their thing and forget about them.  We don’t need money from them.  Between what I grow and what you-” she paused searching for the right word, “protect, we’ll have plenty.  The accounts can just grow and we don’t need to think about them.”

How simple for her to put them aside as though a book she didn’t care to read but didn’t want to dispose of either.  “I can’t forget it that easily-”

“Why not, I do.  I have several unopened statements at home right now.  It’s simple.  File and forget.”

Dessert arrived and Willow attacked it ravenously.  “I’ve been so hungry for hours.”

“They sell food at the alley.”

“It smelled funny,” she complained chagrined.

“Funny how?”

Willow shrugged.  “There was a lot of oil and it smelled rancid.  I wasn’t interested but I drank a lot of water.  It helped me not feel so hungry.”

They ate in silence.  Each moment ticked by as though there was nothing pressing on them, nothing bothering Chad, nothing confusing Willow.  She watched as he struggled with things that she was sure she’d never understand and wondered why life outside the farm seemed so much more complicated.

“Chad?”

“Hmm?”

Willow waited for him to raise his eyes showing her he was out of his reverie.  “If you could choose the perfect scenario, what would it be?”

“You mean financially?”

“Yeah.”

He thought about it.  There was no easy answer.  He wanted it not to be an option for consideration.  Had he known any other woman, he’d have bought life insurance and prayed for the best.  “Realistically?”

“Of course.”

“I’d wish the money was never a consideration but that’s not possible so I guess-” he shoved his spare hand into his pocket as he took a bite of his cheesecake.  Chewing took every ounce of his concentration until he had to swallow and answer.  “I just wish Solari- no, that’s not true either.  It could be an inheritance from your grandfather and I’d still feel the same way.”

“Well, technically it is an inheritance from my grandfather.”

Once more, silence hovered until both Chad and Willow ordered it away simultaneously.  “Ok-”

“Well-”

Chad smiled.  “Go ahead.”

“Tell me something,” Willow began nervously. “What would happen if we didn’t get married?  Would you still come and see me?  Would we still play Chinese checkers, go fishing, and sit on the porch swing in the summer?”

“Not get married!”  Now all eyes were on them once more.  “What are you talking about?” he added much more quietly.

“I just thought that this is such a big deal that maybe we need to forget about the wedding thing.  This wasn’t an issue before.”

He’d thought, well assumed- no hoped that marriage was becoming more than a convenient living arrangement.  Her apparent nonchalance nearly sickened him.  Anger followed.  Did she really think so little of their relationship?  They were affectionate now! 

The memory of a handful of kisses told him she must hold some kind of deeper affection but her attitude- and her face.  Look at her face.  Willow’s eyes were earnest, her face placid, her demeanor calm.  What was she thinking?

“Are you serious?”

“I think maybe its best.  You won’t let me give it away, you don’t want me to have it without you, and you don’t want it.  What other option is there?  We go back to our regular friendship.  Not that much was changing anyway.”

He couldn’t believe his ears.  He shoved several bills onto the check tray and stood.  “Are you ready to go?”

“Sure.”

The drive home was painfully silent.  Chad drove with scrupulous conscientiousness to all traffic and speed laws before he turned into her driveway.  As he braked just to the right of the farmhouse, he jerked his head toward the windows.  “There’s a storm coming.  I see the craft room windows open.  Night.”

Smiling broadly, Willow stepped from the vehicle.  “Night Chad.  See you tomorrow?”

“If you want.”

“Of course I want you ninny.  Isn’t tomorrow your day off?”

“Yeah.  Engagement pictures tomorrow.  I’ll call Wes.”  Chad choked on the words.  How on earth had this happened?

“Ok.  I’ll make breakfast around seven.  Night.”

Chad spun in the driveway kicking up more dust than ever.  All concern for driving safety flew out the window and dissipated in the flying dirt and small gravel rocks.  Willow stood on the steps until his tires squealed on the highway.

With Chad safely gone, Willow’s forced cheerfulness and self-control evaporated.  She sank to the bottom step, lifted her face toward the night sky and wailed, “How is it that man can destroy my happiness from the grave!”

Then, the tears flowed.