Chapter 54- Part 2

***

“Oh Luke, I’m glad you got that on tape.  Your double single knee proposal is unique, I’ll give you that.  Of course, I’d give anything to be able to hear you but the comments of the children and the aunts was priceless.”

“I laughed so hard watching that.  When Tavish said to get the smelling salts…” Luke mused thoughtfully.

Cheri’s romance radar was in high gear.  “So did you choose a date?  Do you know where-”

“Can you give him twenty-four hours before you plan his life, Cheri?”  Chris’ nudge was anything but gentle.

The room erupted in laughter at Luke’s discouraged, “Well, I doubt I can get her to find time before Christmas but-”

Willow’s voice, though quiet, cut through the pandemonium.  “I wish you well, Luke.  I’ll be praying for you and for Aggie.”

Chad and Luke exchanged understanding glances.  As defensive as she’d been about Luke’s worth as a man, marriage wasn’t an easy thing for her to swallow.  After twenty-three years, she was just beginning to see what marriage truly was.  “Thank you Willow.”

A sidelong glance at the Tesdalls made Willow’s stomach flop in that horribly uncomfortable manner it had adopted that morning.  Marianne stood leaning her back into her husband’s chest, Christopher’s arms around her waist, and sharing some kind of private joke between them.  They reminded her of the married couples she’d read about in books.  There was something special- different about their relationship that both intrigued her and frightened her simultaneously.

Until she’d been bombarded with hints about her presumed budding romance with Chad, the idea of romance hadn’t bothered her much.  Bill made illusions to it and she found the attention pleasant but now, in this environment where deeper relationships were both casual and serious, suddenly she shied away from them.

“Willow, I’ve got to be at work by six and I didn’t pick up my uniforms- I think we should go soon.  With the snow, the roads-”

“Ready whenever you are.”  She turned immediately to find her tote bag but Christopher’s voice stopped her.

“Chad, can I see you in the den before you go?”

She watched nervously as the two men disappeared into the room and a pocket door slid shut behind them.  Willow had no doubt that the Tesdall family liked her.  Their warm welcome was genuine; she was confident on that score.  However, something in Christopher’s manner told her that he was concerned for Chad and assumed it had something to do with the infamous ‘Linnea.’

Unaware that Willow even noticed the exchange, Christopher sat his son down for a conversation he’d rather not have.  “Chad, I’d give anything to avoid this-”

Anticipating his father’s words, Chad’s shoulders slumped.  “I’m sorry dad.  I know I’ve been a disappointment to you in so many ways but-”

“Don’t assume you know what I’m going to say.  I’m pretty sure you don’t.

“You know, I’ve been praying about you and Willow since the day you came to the store.  I’ve struggled about it because I have no doubt that the Lord brought you into Willow’s life for a reason and not just to help her.  She’s been good for you too son.”

Chad listened, willing himself not to respond defensively.  This had been the best visit with his parents since he’d left for college.  The old wounds were stitched and healing, he didn’t want to rip them open again.  As his father talked, he prayed- hardly hearing what his father had to say.

“… I’m not concerned about where things are now.  I know you think I’m going to condemn you for your choices concerning her but I’m not.  I see why you’ve done what you’ve done and I’m proud of you for it.”

Swallowing hard, Chad raised his eyes to meet his father’s.  “I cannot tell you how much that means to me.”

“Which,” Christopher continued, “is why I’m going to say something you probably don’t want to hear but I want you to listen close to what I am saying and not add in what I’m not.”

Chad nodded.  It was true, he tended to assume what people meant by what they said rather than taking their word at face value.  The fact that he was usually right did little to help break him of the habit, but when he was wrong, he always made promises to himself that he’d learn not to be so presumptive.

“Your relationship with Willow is a lot like yours with Cheri.  I don’t see the level of teasing and banter but I suspect that part of that is that she’s not comfortable here and I know she’s still a little fragile.  You see her as a sister; you treat her as a best friend.  This is good.”

“But-” He knew a ‘but’ had to be forthcoming and just wanted the ordeal over.

“But she isn’t your sister.  She’s a sister in Christ, I grant you but she is not your sister.  The day will come, probably sooner than either of you are prepared to think about, when one or both of you will marry.”

“Pop, please-”

“Listen to me son.  If you keep things how they are, I don’t foresee any real problems.  However, if you continue to treat her like Cheri, the time will come when you’re watching movies with your arm draped around her shoulder or she’ll fall asleep half curled against your chest or your lap just like Cheri does.  That may be innocent and I trust you to search your heart about those things and to listen to the Holy Spirit’s promptings but son her husband isn’t going to want to come home and find you casually affectionate with his wife.”

“I don’t think that’s a problem dad.  I can’t see her marrying but if she did, I’d never-”

“Your wife wouldn’t necessarily like it either.”

Chad’s head whipped up sharply.  “How can you think I’d ever-”

“Son, you wouldn’t.  That’s not the problem.  I am trying to set up a picture in your mind here.  If you are not careful to keep your shows of affection- and I know you.  You’re going to keep her feeling secure by any means you know.  It’s who you are and who you’ve always been.  I wouldn’t want you to change it.  But if you keep seeing her as another sister instead of a single woman, then the day one of you marries, she loses another important relationship.”

“Well I wouldn’t just abandon her Pop!”

“No, but you’d pull away.  It’s a natural response and a right one.  But it’d mean another loss in a young woman who can’t afford any more losses.”

Taking a deep breath, Chad decided to cut to the chase.  “Ok, can you tell me in as few and as simple words as possible, what you’re suggesting?”

“Be her friend Chad.  Be there for her.  But keep your relationship to something that can continue, just as it is or awfully close to it, in case one of you marries.”

Glad to have the burden of his heart off his chest and onto the table, Christopher stood.  “Of course, you’d solve all of the problems if you simply married her yourself in the next decade or two.”

“Don’t count on it Dad.  Don’t count on it.”

Chapter 54- Part 1

The men bustled into the house with their ‘kill’ and dusted off the first flakes of winter.  As Chad shrugged out of his coat, the corners of his mouth tugged upwards slightly at the sight of Willow’s flower arrangement.  He’d have to thank mom later.

“Hey Marianne?  Guess what I found!”

“Shhh,” his mom fussed as she rushed from the kitchen looking extra chipper and festive.

“What?”  Christopher’s stage whisper wasn’t much quieter than his yell.

“Willow’s still asleep.  You guys be quiet or I’ll send you down to the basement.”

“What about breakfast?  I’m starving!” Chris whined in his best mock toddler voice.

Ignoring her son, Marianne wrapped her arms around her nephew.  “Congratulations Luke, I can’t wait to meet her.  You need to bring everyone over some afternoon soon.”

“Aunt Mari, I’d rethink that invitation if I were you.  We’re not a visit you know.  We’re an invasion.”

“Good,” she quipped leading her favorite nephew to the kitchen.  “Then we surrender.  Occupy the territory Lucas!”

Pineapple chunks and cheese cubes sat on the counter as a pre-breakfast appetizer but after one pass by the four hungry men, all that they left were a few toothpicks and two dirty plates. “Mom, got any of your cinnamon rolls left?” Chad was hungry enough to wake Willow deliberately so they could eat.”

“No, and I’m not putting in the casserole until I hear some movement from upstairs.”

“Where’s Cheri?” 

“She’s down in the basement digging out the tree.  Why don’t you go help her Chris?  Chad, you could get the ornaments…”

The guys disappeared from the kitchen and a knowing look passed between them.  At the foot of the basement stairs, Chad paused.  “You go down; I’ll be there in a minute.  I just want to make sure she’s not up there wondering when we’re all going to wake up.  I can just see her doing that.”

“Don’t let mom catch you!” Chris warned as he thundered don the stairs making enough noise to convince Marianne that her sons were twelve and fifteen again.

Chad peeked into Willow’s room and almost snorted aloud.  No wonder Willow was sleeping so soundly.  The blinds were down, the curtains drawn, and hardly a daring ray of sunlight managed to peek through any of the cracks.  He leaned against the doorjamb and watched her sleep wondering what about the picture bothered him.  Finally, he realized.  Most people assume a rested peaceful look in their sleep that you rarely see on their faces.  Willow just looked like Willow with her eyes closed.  The peace in her heart and the life she led, while hard and requiring much labor, was peace lived daily.  He’d never noticed how clearly it showed in her face until he watched her sleep.

A hand on his shoulder made him jump.  He looked down into his mother’s warning eyes and hugged her whispering as he did, “Look at her face mom.  She looks just as gentle and peaceful awake as she does asleep.”

Marianne turned him from the door and pushed him towards he stairs with a mock scowl.  “Get down there and help,” she hissed menacingly.  “Or I’ll bring out the hidden albums.  I think Willow would get a huge kick out of a certain little baby boy watering my roses in the buff.”

Chad was already half way down the stairs.  His mother had claimed for years that she had certain pictures squirreled away for opportune blackmail times and though none of the Tesdall children had ever found them, they also weren’t willing to risk it.  She peeked in at Willow and smiled as the young woman stretched, rolled over, and resumed her rhythmic breathing. 

“Lord, I always thought it’d take something drastic to pull Chad out of his shell but I never realized it’d be a good drastic.  With his job-” she sighed under her breath.  “My faith was weak again.  I’ve got that down to a science.  Think we could work on some strengthening exercises now?”

***

Willow awoke.  Again.  Her head was growing fuzzy from lack of movement.  She wanted fresh air and a walk.  Maybe if she got dressed, she’d catch the men before they left.  She hadn’t planned on going shopping but after waking several times and finding it still dark, she was ready to give up.

The house was silent as she wrapped Cheri’s spare robe around her.  She’d have to slip into Cheri’s room and snatch her clothes.  As she passed the top of the stairs, light shone from the first floor and oddly enough, it looked like it was coming from outside.

Quickly, she padded downstairs and glanced out the window that flanked the door.  Light filtered into the room and snowflakes fell steadily on the lawn and shrubbery.  She remembered a clock on the oven, so Willow hurried to see what time it really was but as she stepped in the kitchen, she stopped short.

“Oh excuse me,” she gasped blushing half frozen in amazement then turning to hurry away from the sight of Christopher and Marianne wrapped in each other’s arms as they kissed.

“Willow, did you need something?” Marianne asked without moving from her husband’s arms.

“Oh, no, I was just going to see what time it is.  It was so dark in my room I thought it was night still.” 

With each word, she backed from the room uncomfortably.  Marianne smiled apologetically.  “I’m sorry.  I went in before I went to bed and closed it up so the light wouldn’t bother you.  I’m putting a casserole in.  Would you like to take a shower while it bakes?”

“Um-” Her eyes traveled uncomfortably to Christopher’s hands as they rubbed his wife’s arms absently.

Taking the casserole from the fridge, Marianne shoved it in the oven and punched the timer.  “Come on.  I’m sure Cheri has some sweats or something that’ll fit you.”

All the way up the stairs, Marianne’s mind whirled.  Should she apologize for making Willow feel uncomfortable?  As she chattered about Cheri’s wardrobe options, she tried to read Willow’s body language to determine how to respond.  She wasn’t ashamed of the display of affection but neither did she care to make a guest uncomfortable.

“Oh look, Cheri bought these last year and never wore them.  I’m not sure why…” Marianne prattled about the velour warm up suit and t-shirt as she found clothes, toothbrush, and towels and placed them in the bathroom.

As soon as Willow was settled, she hurried downstairs.  The shouts of her sons and husband sent her back upstairs.  “Well, you didn’t tell me you were wrapping yet!  Chad, Christopher, I need you.”

Seated around the couch, Marianne explained the scenario with a hint of a blush on her cheeks.  The Tesdalls weren’t prudes.  They showed genuine affection, occasionally more passionate when privacy was probable, but they were always discreet and tasteful.  Willow’s discomfort seemed more pronounced than when a niece, nephew, or even one of Cheri’s friends burst into the house.

As he listened to his mother explain the situation, Chad chuckled. “Care to share with us Chad?” his father asked, instinctively knowing it was going to be interesting.

“I just remember when she said after we saw the Princes Bride.  There is that line about the five perfect kisses, and she said, ‘What’s so big about a kiss anyway?  Two lips smashed against each other.  Whoop-dee-doo.’  I told her she’d think differently some day.”

“Smashed lips!”  Christopher laughter joined Marianne’s muffled titters.  She tried to hush him but it didn’t work.

“Chad, what do you think?  I started to apologize for making her uncomfortable but you’ve seen us, we’re not- well-”

“No I don’t think you have anything to apologize for.  As much as Cheri, Chris, and I complain, we really do like knowing you’re still-.” 

“You’re as bad as she is,” Chad’s father teased.  “It’s called being in love.  You should try it sometime.”

At the sight of her son’s embarrassment, Marianne stepped in and redirected the conversation.  She’d watched the knowing looks between Chris and Cheri, heard the speculations of the family, and even Libby had mentioned that she hoped when enough time had passed and Willow was ready for the right man in her life, that it would be Chad.  If he felt half the pressure that she did, Chad would run.  They could thank Linnae for that.

“So, what do you think Chad?  I’m not going to lie and I won’t apologize for showing proper affection for my husband but if I need to apologize for making her feel uncomfortable…”

He sat thoughtfully and then shook his head.  “No, you shouldn’t mention it at all- in fact; I’d appreciate it if you’d be a little extra affectionate.  Willow needs to see it.  I’ll try not to gag.”

“What do you mean ‘Willow needs to see it’ son?”

“Just that she hasn’t.  Can you imagine never having seen a husband and wife, any husband and wife, kiss?  Can you imagine never hearing your father say, ‘I love you?’  Things that are so commonplace for us are earth shattering for her.  I can’t even begin to describe our discussion of showing affection for men!”

This piqued Marianne’s interest.  “Oh no, that’s something I want to hear.  I’ve watched you with her Chad and the only reason I haven’t said anything is because I trust that you know what you’re doing.”

As he tried to explain, Chad stuffed his hands in his pockets leaning back into the chair.  “It’s strange mom.  Because of who she is, I can and must behave in ways I can’t possibly imagine.  Mom, I slept over at her house- a few times when no one else was there!  Granted most of those times were during the day because I worked night shift but still.”

“And why did you think that was a good idea Chad?”

His father’s voice cut him to the heart.  He’d known that tone ever since he could remember.  It meant disappointment.  “Pop, she was injured.  She has no one.  I could milk the goats and was strong enough to help her up and down the stairs.”  He sighed.  They’d never understand.  “I was who she trusted.  I couldn’t not do it Pop.”

Christopher Tesdall fought the churning in his spirit.  He had a strong tendency to put everything in a carefully packaged box.  His wife had often told him as they reared their children, “You can’t decide how everything should go and then force it to go that way.  Sometimes you have to use discernment instead of rules.”  The rare times that she disagreed with him in decisions regarding their children, it had always come down to that one concept.  “Just because the scenario doesn’t fit your idea of the perfect script, doesn’t mean it needs to be written out of the play.”

“You probably know best son and it’s never wrong to serve the body of Christ.  How you do it- Well, still.  I can’t-” He struggled.  His son was opening himself up for more than the boy bargained for and yet somehow he couldn’t bring himself to open his mental lecture list and pull out the appropriate one for the occasion. “Anyway, tell us about the affection problem.”

Chad told about the conversation he’d had with Willow.  His parents sat dumbstruck as he described her nonchalant attitude of holding the hands of three men in almost as many days without the slightest idea that it would mean anything more than friendly reassurance and appreciation.  “You know how you always said you could tell when a girl’s father quit showing her affection around their teen years?”

Christopher nodded not liking where he thought Chad was going.  “You don’t think-”

“Well, no.  I don’t think Willow is in danger of trading her virtue for male attention but considering she’s never had any, I think she is both oblivious to it being any different than female affection as well as having a deep need for it.  If she didn’t so thoroughly disassociate herself from any hint of romance, I couldn’t be the big brother slash friend that I am without having another Linnae on my hands.”

“Oh I’m sick of that girl’s name!  I’m sick of her impact on our family!  I’m sick that our son, my kind hearted handsome son, has run from every decent girl he’s ever met thanks to that-”

“Enough Marianne.  Don’t let the bitterness back.” 

Before anyone could speak, they heard the bathroom door squeak and Chad quickly murmured “Don’t walk around lip-locked, just be affectionate like you always are… just a bit more often!

“Morning Willow!”

Willow brought her towel downstairs brushing her hair as she came.  “What should I do with the towel?  The racks are full up there.”

Marianne jumped to grab it.  “I’ll take it.  Would you like some juice?  I’d offer you fruit or cheese but the guys inhaled it when they got back.”

“Where is everyone?”

Chad smiled from his relaxed spot on the couch.  “Downstairs.  They’re wrapping gifts.  I’m supposed to be down there but I had a few things to discuss with mom and dad so-”

“Well you go down and wrap Chad; I’ll get Willow to help me with breakfast.”

On cue, Christopher passed through the kitchen as Marianne checked the casserole and murmured something into his wife’s ear, kissed her cheek, and followed his son down the basement steps.  Smiling to herself and half-forgetting her earlier concern, she winked at Willow.  “What a man will do to get a meal.”

“So what I can I do?”  Eagerly, Willow looked around the room for anything to focus on other than Marianne’s face.

“Is something wrong?”  This wasn’t going to be as simple as Chad’s confidence had implied.  “Can you reach in that cupboard- no the next one.  Yes.  Can you get me ummm six… seven of those plates?”

“Sure.  I wonder where our extra plates are.”

“What did you say?”

As she handed Marianne the plates, Willow explained their limited dish situation.  “I know we have replacements- anytime something broke there’d be a replacement in the cupboard the next meal.  I never thought of it before but mom must have them somewhere.  I wonder why she didn’t just keep them in the cupboard.”

In an unusual moment of insight, Marianne Tesdall saw Kari more accurately than most ever did.  “I think your mother wanted a visual reminder that she only had enough emotional stamina for two people ‘at her table’ so to speak.”

Tears sprung to Willow’s eyes but rather than being overcome by them, she smiled.  “Two people at her table.  That’s perfect.  Chad has almost become family- the brother Mother would never have had for me.  I still have two people at my table most of the time.  God is good.”

***